16/09/2016
The Soft Path
Today I had a bit of a realisation moment, although putting it into words is proving to be more difficult that I thought! Quaramba performed the most beautiful trot today, and it seemed to come from nowhere. When we went to the arena it was spitting rain a bit, and she was a bit reluctant in general. When she feels like that we focus on doing very small things with a lot of attention. Things like stopping and starting just with the energy connection, making square shapes with very straight lines and tight corners thinking about connecting her legs with her body and then some gentle steps sideways with a shallow angle. It is all based on being in that mindful place where there isn't a push for particular responses but just a staying with what it feels like then in that moment.
It often feels like she is giving me instruction, like be in this place and have that perspective. I know that I don't get a fraction of it! but it feels good to be in that place at that time with her. Our time together always feels good when we stay with that flow of consciousness - meaning: just being together and not getting into achieving something. That is not always an easy place for me to be, but with Quaramba it is my number one goal, primarily because it feels right and it aligned like that for us and secondly because she is the icon, or the prototype for the new way I want to work with horses. It is new for me, and new to everything else I see because it is not rooted in results. The focus is not on the performance, but on the performers, and the connection between them. That is not always a straightforward distinction to know how to make, but in practice it is a very clear one.
So in talking about results, although we concentrate on not seeking them in our partnership, part of me is certainly observing them. I want to learn and understand, and if I think if it has value I want to share it. Today after some of those exercises which were about finding an energetic alignment between us, we stopped during a heavier shower for a while, hiding in the pavilion, and I helped Ben who was riding happily in the rain. Quaramba definitely wasn't happy in the rain, so she had a good ten minutes picking at weeds in the lee of the shelter.
Normally, if we had continued (without rain) she would have 'clicked in' more and more, becoming physically straighter, and her energy would become less blocked, she would begin to channel more and she would be able to carry on into some trot work. She still considers that to be quite a serious effort, and I am not going to try and dissuade her. I am accepting her own knowledge of her body, no matter how unlikely it seems. Today we went from the rest back to our connection, and her previous reluctance had melted away on its own, she flowed into the most beautiful trot she has ever performed in the arena. She didn't do it 'without' me either, we were engaged in it together. She did it balanced and straight and gorgeous :) on both reins, only a circle or two still!! and she was very happy about how she felt afterwards.
That was when I had this realisation. It isn't about hacking away at something and repeating and forcing until it comes out like you think you want it. Maybe it is about that for some people with some things, but Quaramba showed me today that it is about gently, carefully teasing things out. The more sensitive and aware you can be, the more life and beauty will be in the work you create. Quaramba might not go on for a long time yet, but what she can do is magnificent. She is in a truer alignment, with a better physical integration with greater harmony than any Grand Prix horse I have seen. It is still so new, like a newly hatched butterfly, but it is so clean and right. In my opinion most horses are broken down to build up to what they are, and maybe to make them do the things they do that is necessary. Maybe it is also possible to get there without breaking anything down, to have faith in the process itself and not even looking for the results until they come. I don't know that it is possible yet, but we are going to keep gently and carefully stepping the soft path and we'll see :D