Affinity Horsemanship North Wales

‘Undoing’ trauma. Ellie was terrified of anything touching her ears due to ear papillomas. Most sources say this condition ‘doesn’t affect them’ but if that was the case she wouldn’t have had such a complex, they were quite obviously uncomfortable for her at times. It was likely made worse by people in her past who felt the need to try and remove them like scabs. Previously she would be cornered, her head held down and the bridle forced on ‘quickly’ in the traditional way which simply hurt and made everything worse. At 5ft to her 16.3hh it was physically impossible for me to do that even if i wanted to, which i didn’t. This was the very slow process of helping her through it. Just approaching with the bridle would send her to the back of the stable where she would hold her head up as high as possible and nod violently in an attempt to stop it happening. When it comes to fear, we must break it down into tiny increments, this process is called ‘successive approximation’. In the second section of this vid, even though its just the head piece, im still going too fast, communicated by her reaction to it going on and then her having a moment of panic on the next try. The only way through was to build her confidence by listening to her, letting her control the progress, and making it as rewarding as possible for her. Watch as her confidence grows, she becomes more willing and offers her head down. This took about a month of working with it almost daily. A year later after four months off due to feet issues, we had to go through this all over again. We call it ‘spontaneous recovery’, but this time it only took a few weeks.

When it comes to riding, If our horses regularly… Try to bite when we tack up. Don’t stand still at the mounting block. Walk off the second we get on. Speed up if we give them their head/hold the buckle. Consistently speed up in trot or canter with a ‘contact’. Don’t stand still when we do ask them to stop. Shake or nod their heads either when stood still or moving. Put their tongue over the bit. Repeatedly snatch at the reins. Jog on a regular basis Constantly swish their tails. (These are just some of the more common examples) Then the horse is either in pain, or is suffering some form of anxiety about being ridden. None of these issues have anything to do with their ‘personality’ or breed, its simply them trying to communicate that they do not feel safe and are afraid or it hurts. EVERY single behaviour our horses exhibit stems from their emotional state, its done for A VALID reason and has a function/it serves a purpose. The same applies to humans. Its why different people react differently to the same stimulus. If we were to sneak up and startle someone (genuinely in the name of ‘fun’) their reaction would depend on their emotional state. If they were having a bad time, they’d likely get angry because they want it to stop/its added stress. Normally when my husband does it to me, its because were both in a happy place so i end up laughing A LOT at the involuntary noise my body just made, so it was in fact, enjoyable 🙈 You’re likely reading this because you want to learn and be the best person for your horse out of love….. Everything boils down to our emotions. A mentally happy, relaxed horse that isn’t in pain will have no need to display any of the behaviours above. The ONLY way to tell for sure if our horses are genuinely ok with being ridden is to see if we can walk, trot, and canter on the buckle in a relaxed state without them speeding up. If we cannot do this then we have much work to do. Most horses are never gi

Im seeing a lot of posts lately about licking, chewing and yawning and how it’s considered a ‘bad’ thing and if we see this in our horses then we are doing wrong. I feel this outlook is extremely unfair. When a horse licks and chews or yawns it is a stress release. It’s the result of the nervous system bringing the horse back down to a more relaxed state. When a horse is concerned about something, their sympathetic nervous system (the ‘go’ side) takes over, and part of this process involves redirecting blood away from the extremities and reduces the production of saliva. When the nervous system decides the threat is over, the parasympathetic system (the ‘whoa’ side) takes back over which means blood flows back into the muzzle and saliva production resumes resulting in the horse licking and chewing. Horses go through this process many times a day whether they are with us or not, because a prey animal is always vigilant and there will always be things in the environment that concern them. A horse can go through this entire process in under a minute and It really doesn’t take much for it to kick in. Horse catches movement in the distance, raises his head from grazing to get a better look at it, decides it’s not a threat, licks n chews and goes back to grazing. I can understand why some are going over to the extreme side and stating that our horses should never ‘lick n chew’ because it implies we are causing them great stress, but unless you have owned the horse for years using only R+, and the horse has learnt what to expect in every single possible life situation, its unrealistic and still not possible to avoid 100% of the time. It will happen from time to time because they are hard wired to fear new situations and stating that we are to blame for stressing them just because we see this ‘release’ is not OK. Now, I am in no way stating that its ok to cause our horses any ‘stress’ whatsoever. We must always use positive reinforce

We cannot claim to have a good relationship or bond with our horse if it’s one sided. This doesnt exist in the human world, not does it with our animals. Any relationship that benefits one individual considerably more than the other on a consistent basis isn’t a relationship, it’s being ‘used’. If we only ever turn up to see our horse when we want to ride then they will simply associate us with work, not a friend with whom they want to spend time with. Many people lack the ability to empathise with horses. They’re too busy looking for judgements like ‘stubborn’ ‘mareish’ ‘spicy’ to justify not getting what they want out of the horse, rather than putting themselves in the horses shoes and asking ‘how would i feel in this scenario?’ A relationship with a horse begins and ends with empathy, not an agenda. Horses that pair bond spend time just sharing space together, looking out for each other, mutually grooming when both are in the mood for it, grazing together, checking out interesting things or potentially scary things together, and sometimes just sleeping in each other’s company. We touch horses way too much (i know, it is so hard to keep our hands to ourselves, but this is for us, not them). Most horses don’t actually enjoy being touched unless they come to us for scratchies. The more we can just be there as company and share space with them having no agenda, and asking ourselves what can i do for my horse? The deeper our bond becomes and the more they become a willing partner under saddle that doesn’t simply see us turn up and think ‘oh no, not this one again’.

It doesn’t matter what other people think of our methods, all that matters is that the horse approves. This was the end of a very gentle, groundwork session, i let her off and went to switch the camera off and she decided to come with me. If they choose to stay with us after we have ‘worked’ them and set them free, then we know that we are doing it right as its a good indication that they approve of our methods, 😜 (although she was not happy at the sound of the flag being retracted which we can clearly see by that head shake). This is where videoing ourselves can help us. I later worked on that too! 😊

The only way to find out how a horse truly feels about us/being groomed/bathed/tacked up etc, is to take the head collar off… Horses will stand and tolerate most things we do to them once that head collar is on because they have learnt they have no choice but to put up with it. They’re tied up and there’s no escape. It does NOT necessarily mean they are okay with what we are doing. Ive never tied my horses up to be groomed, tacked up, carry out minor first aid, etc when in the stable or play pen because the only way for them to truly realise they can trust us is if we give them the option to leave if they feel worried. A worried horse will walk away. By giving them this option and not following/putting any pressure on them, together with ensuring our interactions are pleasant for them too, they will very likely choose to come back knowing they wont be ‘trapped’ if it does get overwhelming for them. What more it is always good practice to ensure they have a hay net at these times because it simply keeps their minds happier. This method also gives them the ability and confidence to communicate with us when we are causing them concern such as brushing too hard in general or in certain sensitive spots, or whether they have a negative association with the saddle/girth/bridle, particular grooming tool, etc. They may walk away a lot in the early days of this process, but eventually, IF we listen, they realise they can begin to communicate with us instead by nodding their heads for example when they aren’t comfortable with what we are doing. Once we get the recipe right, and learn their language, they will willingly stand without a head collar, knowing they are safe in our hands. If you always tie your horse up and genuinely believe the horse is ok with what you do to them, move the process to a place where you can take the head collar off and see what happens, it will be very valuable information. Giving our horses a choice when possible and allowing

Tips to deepen your bond and earn your horses trust.. Whenever you’re with them, give them your undivided attention. (No one likes that person who doesn’t even bother to look up at you to reply when you talk, because they’re on their phone.) EVERY time your horse turns their head towards you, acknowledge their request for connection or comfort, by offering your hand to their mouth/muzzle, this makes them feel ‘seen’. Whenever you’re grooming or doing first aid, let them sniff whats in your hand first before putting it on their body. With repetition it helps put their mind at ease as to whats about to happen. (If a doctor approached you with an object you didn’t recognise, wouldn’t you feel much more comfortable knowing what it was first?) Horses are curious. Let them investigate and explore things in their surroundings (or even non horsey things in your hands when you walk past) if they show an interest, it engages their mind and helps them learn that things wont eat them at a later date 🤣

Let’s talk pressure… Many people are turning to methods that are based purely on positive reinforcement with horses and although this is fantastic from a general welfare point of view, the truth of the matter is we cannot avoid all pressure in life no matter what the species. Pressure must occur in order for learning to take place, its factual science, but this refers to small amounts of pressure or information if you will. When we receive information, our brains must respond to it/the stimulus by absorbing the information, understanding it and subsequently carrying out the required response. This technically means that it’s simply impossible to remove ALL pressure from our horses’ lives. What more when we attempt to protect or shelter our animals and loved ones from every aversive in the world, we are simply removing their ability to deal with even the tinies of situations that arise in every day life, and we cannot control the environment all the time so we are not doing them any favours. Now, I also want to make it clear that I’m in no way stating that we should expose our horses to unnecessary or strong pressure, but let’s have a quick look into what ‘pressure’ really is.. When it comes to horses, many people think of the word ‘pressure’ and instantly jump to the traditional training methods that involve using as much pressure as it takes to force the individual to comply, but that isn’t ‘pressure’, that’s actual FORCE and quite simply cruelty. If we think as ‘pressure’ as basically any stimulus that causes a response, which happens on a daily basis. For example… The alarm goes off in the morning which puts pressure on us to put it off When we have to be somewhere at 3pm, that’s pressure on us to be there at that time When we are hungry there’s pressure on us to eat. Even standing up is more pressure than sitting down, but it isn’t something we would consider as cruel if we were asked to. We deal with small level

How much REM sleep does your horse get on a daily basis? Sleep deprevation is an issue for some horses. We all know they doze standing up, but they also need at least 20-40 mins of REM sleep in a 24 hour cycle to be psychologically healthy. This gets a little difficult for some horses because it involves lying down, which they will only do when they feel safe enough, and so largely depends on their lifestyle and the way they are handled by their owners. Many cases of sleep depravation are the result of illness or injury that physically stop the horse from being able to lie down. Such horses become so exhausted they can no longer adequately engage the stay apparatus that allows them to lock their legs, and they can be seen effectively collapsing to their knees. Anxiety can also result in a horse that doesn’t feel safe enough to lie down, resulting in sleep deprivation. Chronic anxiety means the horse can become ‘stuck’ in low level flight mode which only becomes progressively worse from the lack of sleep, but luckily there is a remedy for this. 😊 Knowing how much REM sleep your horse gets is important, because it affects their mental health. What more, having a horse that trusts you implicitly so that they will happily drop to the floor and start twitching, snoring and dreaming away in your company (not out of exhaustion) is all the proof you need that you are trusted 😍

What If horses aren’t being ‘naughty’, they’re in pain or reacting out of fear.. What if a horse isn’t being disrespectful but is curious and wants to investigate us.. What if when a horse resists he’s not being stubborn or lazy, he’s worried about what we’re are asking.. What if a horse isn’t trying to bite us, he just feels insecure and is looking for connection but his muzzle is his ‘hands’.. What if a horse isn’t grumpy or ‘mareish’, they just don’t feel comfortable with us.. What if implementing occasional rewards in our training isn’t spoiling the horse and encouraging bad manners but is an incentive for them to work for us.. What if correcting every little behaviour that annoys us (for no logical reason), is unnecessary because the horse is just trying to cope and we just allow the horse to be a horse… What if a horse has likes and dislikes that don’t align with ours, and thats simply ok.. What if a horse has bad days where it’s not in the right mindset to be ridden and we accept it.. What if when horses don’t show us the love we want from them, it’s not personal.. What if a horse isn’t a tool for our entertainment, but an individual with feelings.. What if a horse doesn’t plan to piss you off but simply lives in the moment.. What if we started to respect the horse for the magnificent individual being that it is instead of creating stories in our heads about every little behaviour that ‘insults’ our ego.. What if we got over ourselves and started to earn their respect instead of demanding something we dont yet deserve? Changing the way we view our horses is the first step to a magical transformation. When WE change, our horses change 😊