Confidentequestrians

Confidentequestrians Fi is a freelance coach with the skills and experience to help, encourage ,and support riders of all ages,abilities ,and disabilities.

She is also a rider and trainer. Whether you want confidence to compete, or just to enjoy your horse and hack.

This resonates with me, and the fact that if you want a horse to be a wonderful ride you have to put the work in ,whatev...
03/01/2024

This resonates with me, and the fact that if you want a horse to be a wonderful ride you have to put the work in ,whatever discipline you follow. It doesn’t happen just by connection you have to have skill both riding and all the other parts that make up the picture!

There’s a growing disconnect right now that is pitting relationship against horsemanship. As though we would somehow be wrong to want both, rather than wholly one, or the other.

For the first time, we are being told that traditional skills and values are erroneous, scientifically and ethically. We are told that if we aim to be evolved horse(wo)men, we must ‘unlearn’ what we thought we knew for sure.

We are to go that place where we exist in energy and not prior experience. This means getting into our bodies and entirely out of our heads. This is a place where we are not learning mundane equitation skills, like ‘heads up, heels down’, nor are we asking our horses to struggle or serve.

This new mindset is reflected in my own page and the pages of countless other ‘traditional’ horse(wo)men, people who are involved in the business of teaching people how to ride and how to look after their horses, as a matter of husbandry. Any post that will teach a rider correct equitation or useful horse training techniques, will pale in comparison to the reactions and comments on a post on feelings, love and relationship.

Our followers are telling us, very plainly, that they want to learn about connection—mind melding, observing horse signals and learned empathy—more than they want to learn how to obtain a good leg position, or how to manage pastures, or fly control—indeed, any of the tools that we can learn about more mundane horse-keeping.

Right now, we would rather learn about relationship, than the tools to train our horses, or how to keep ourselves safe. This worries me, to be honest.

We’re wanting the sweet reward over the gritty substance. It has got to the point that a recent share of my pony, Bobby, learning to harrow pens was shared within a social media group that exists to find examples of cruelty to horses. Bobby was shown working willingly with his head low and his ears up… and still, this. I was guilty of asking my horse to do a job.

Many people no longer want to put in the considerable amount of time needed to learn how to ride or drive through difficult situations, let alone on challenging sorts of horses, because they have been told that if they possess the secret to understanding their horses, they will not be faced with bad moments, at all. They and their horses will have bound themselves to each other in such a way that transcends the ordinary moments that once filled a horse(wo)man’s day. They are promised that with enough love and awareness, everyone will stay safe.

I can only scratch my head at this notion and say a little prayer. I wholly agree that if we never ask, our horses will never have to say “NO!” Thing is, if you have ever been in a job, or a lifestyle, where your living is made with your horse, you know there will come a day when you, your horse and your methods will be tested with your life on the line. There will come a day.

The idea about learning to ride well was born in the military, to keep our ancestors alive in battle. This meant training war horses to understand clear aids, to ignore everything else and for us to somehow become ‘pleasant burdens’ whilst in the saddle. While modern life is far removed from this reality, I am leery of throwing out the model that created traditional horsemanship. Not just riding, either. It meant that one knew how to look after horses through feeding, care, exercise and preventing illness.

Many of these old manuals of equitation also included the method of humanely putting one’s horse down!

It meant being open to having our feelings hurt and our bodies challenged, in order to be worthy of the horse. Now, admittedly, much of the old military/traditional model of teaching was abusive to both the human and equine students. This is not what I’m suggesting we keep going, before anyone points out the error of my thinking.

I am wanting to stay alive because I have an obedient and useful horse; I want you to stay alive, too. Right now, the way horsemanship is headed, I am having my doubts about the future. We are dividing into two very separate camps: those who crave feeling and those who are somewhat proud of avoiding feeling.

It brings to mind the chasm between trained musicians and those who can play by ear. Each group makes the other somewhat uncomfortable, without an inclusive mindset.

For example, let’s take the ‘new’ information available on pain signals shown by ridden horses. We’re being somewhat misled here because this is not new! No, it has been taught by traditional teachers for decades, as a guide for schooling horses in an ethical manner. The ignoring of these signs of pain and discomfort—failing to note the posture, desperate eyes, ears, mouths, nostrils and swishing tails—particularly in the competitive realm, is perhaps what is modern? Though I suspect we’ve been ignoring horses’ needs for a very long time.

As someone who hails from a traditional dressage program, this irks me to be told to pay attention to these newly pinpointed signs of abuse. If more people trained their horses in the classical manner, they would know to avoid pushing their horses to this point, in the first place.

I will share that less and less, am I feeling comfortable illustrating my writing with photographs of myself working my own horses. Why? Because the message I relay is too often hijacked by the type of gear I use, whether I am wearing spurs or no helmet, whether my horse is wearing a shanked bit or going bitless, entirely.

Horse(wo)men, we have veered into ‘us vs them’ territory, parroting why our pet discipline doesn’t require horses to move correctly, or for us to ride with independent seats, because we have somehow risen above this need for traditional horsemanship.

Get this: I want it all!

I want relationship, though not at the expense of my workmanlike horsemanship, my being able to saddle up and go out and do a job. I want my performance but not at the expense of the connection I have built with my horses. I get very uncomfortable with the way we are being sorted off, like cattle run through a chute, into the people who achieve greater understanding at the expense of their riding, vs the people who achieve good performance at the expense of being caring, or thoughtful, people.

Do not buy into this crap.

If we are being told to ‘get after’ our horses in order to win, then we have to ask ourselves how badly our horses want to be in our chosen sport? In this case, the only ones winning are our trainers, through the cheques we are continuing to write.

Conversely, if we are being told that building friendship with our horses will excuse us from having to learn to ride correctly and teaching our horses to be obedient—aka SAFE—thousand-pound animals, then we are being sold a bill of goods. The only ones really benefitting are our gurus.

Too often, we are being told that in order to right the considerable wrongs of the past, we must absolve ourselves from wanting anything taxing from our horses. That we will exonerate ourselves by paying the living expenses of an animal that has no intention of doing anything for us, other than that of sharing space. While this works for many people, I don’t buy into the notion that traditional horsemanship is entirely wrong. Do I wish that aged events were celebrated more than futurities? You bet. Do I wish that individual disciplines wouldn’t veer from what is good for the horse, in order to be unique? God, yes.

While I have read—and cried—over ‘Black Beauty’, I have been mentored by too many thoughtful, excellent horse people, to fall for the idea that my prior horsemanship is steeped in shame. Of course, I have made mistakes, gone down wrong paths. I have tried to learn from them.

My horsemanship needs life-long tweaking, adding a shift in how I go about things, in how I strive to understand the horse. That is all. I do not want to throw the baby out with the bath water! I will need to learn what to let go and how to do it, to make room for the new… but I will not be shamed into turning my back on my prior life with horses.

This means that until someone comes up with a better method than that of putting in the effort, in real time, in how to school both a horse and rider to a high standard—without doing harm to either, mind—I will remain watchful. I will remain skeptical.

I have this feeling that my ever-practical, yet kind, grandparents would raise an eyebrow at this modern goal of always making everyone feel good, at all costs. In the long run, I’m predicting another pendulum swing from hard to soft, from resolve to feeling, to back again. We’re skidding from one ditch, to the other, rather than holding steady in the middle of the road.

Always, we do this at the expense of the horse.

Can traditional teaching can be both kinder to horses and to their people? Yes. We don’t need to continue browbeating individuals, just to get our point across. There is no benchmark of suffering that makes my learning any more valuable than yours.

Here, then, is the warning. We are in danger of replacing skills with concepts.

Replacing old standards of competence with new theories is in no way guaranteed to keep us safe. Neither we, nor our horses, will ever learn how to do an applied task, a real-life job, without actually stepping out, learning and then, doing it.

When we are riding and faced with uncontrolled pressures and ordinary risks—working cows, seeing wildlife, added speed or stress, other horses and riders, changing weather, or as many of us have done this summer with impending disaster, such as fire or rising water—we do not want to ask our horses a big question and find out they do not have our backs. l, for one, need to know that if and when we’re under extreme pressure, my horse will say yes, no matter what.

I feel as though I’m an island in thinking, let alone voicing, these thoughts.

Good and important advice!
07/11/2023

Good and important advice!

Maybe I’ve just missed it, but seriously, why is no one talking about the things that can truly make sitting trot (and riding in general) a miserable experience?
Let’s get straight to the nitty gritty…

#1. Underpants. You bet your behind your tighty whities can make or break your sitting trot. All it takes is one poorly placed seam to rub you raw or at the very least distract you to the point of not hearing any of the instruction being given.
Better yet, some us deplore the thong, so when our super comfortable grannie underpants decide they’re doing the thong conversion in the middle of a lesson or worse, a clinic with auditors seated around the entire ring and there is just no discreet way to make an adjustment, 5 mins can feel like 5 hours!
Pro tip: If you experience rubbing between your cheeks (not the ones on your face😉), the product for runners called ‘Body Glide’ will be your new best friend. Can be especially helpful on long, hot trail rides.

#2. Bra. Sorry fellas, this has to be one of the most technical pieces of equipment critical to a comfortable ride and most certainly a comfortable sitting trot. Put up your hand if you’ve gone out to ride and get to the sitting trot portion and realize, ‘I’m wearing the wrong bra!!’🖐 Finding a comfortable Ta-Ta Tamer* (lululemon) can be hit and miss as you actually have to ride in it to see where it may possibly rub or chafe. It could be the most comfortable ever jumping up and down in the dressing room, only to find the underwire cuts into your arm pit halfway through your ride! My current favorite is Knix Catalyst Sports bra. They have no wire and phenomenal bounce control. If you wait for a sale, they have 50% off fairly regularly.

#3. Breeches that have nasty seams. Always ride in your new breeches before a clinic or a show. (Please trust me on this one). This is not the time to find out your beautiful, blingy, riding pants are going to rub a hole in the inside of your leg (or worse😳).

#4. Breeches that are too snug in the crotch and upper thigh and end up making a hammock well below your actual crotch in the saddle and could bounce you to the moon. Better to have your breeches a bit on the big side so that the fabric can go all the way up to your crotch and you can sit all the way down and connect your underneath to the saddle.

#5. Breeches that are too sticky. Call me old fashion but I miss the real leather seats of yesteryear that didn’t break the bank and didn’t leave you glued to the saddle to the point where you can’t move. If breeches are too tight and too sticky you can’t drop through your thigh and into your knee in the sitting trot or canter. There needs to be some give and take in order to ride the up, down and forward motion of the sitting trot. Too sticky can also end up creating rubs as your body fights to move in them.

I’m sure there are other tips and tricks to being comfortable in the saddle so be sure to drop them in the comments below for the benefit of all.

31/10/2023

Great visual!

Comes thoroughly recommend!
18/10/2023

Comes thoroughly recommend!

We are now offering *flexi 5 day part livery* at our BHS approved livery yard in Lingfield. Ideal for someone working shift work!

👩🏼‍🎓 Qualified staff. Family live onsite.
☕️ A clubhouse for teas and coffees.
☀️ Treatment box with Drimme solarium.
🔒 Secure tack room with individual tack lockers.
🦄 Individual paddocks.
🥕 Rotational grazing.
💩 Regular field maintenance and poo picking.
🧼 Wash down bay.
💡 Floodlit Fibre surface 20x40 arena jumps available for use.
🏇🏼 Riding available around the 30 acre Farm with training XC jumps.
🤍 40x60 grass arena with dressage boards.
🏅Regular lessons from senior BHS coaches.
🏃🏼‍♀️ Exercising available at an additional cost.
✂️ Clipping available at an additional cost.

Please check out our page for more pictures and information.
https://www.facebook.com/bridgefarmequestrian/

For enquiries please text Olivia on 07717077177

How true is this!
04/10/2023

How true is this!

“I was scared today.

I was scared to get on, scared to walk out the yard because I had a bad ride the day before. One bad ride, and it made me scared.

I didn’t know why. I’ve had 1000 bad rides. I’ve had 1000 falls. I’ve broken bones and bruised my pride on countless occasions, but today I was scared.

Why? Because confidence is fragile. It takes months and years to build and seconds to lose and yet we are so careless with it.

When we get on a horse, we wear a hat to protect our head. We wear body protectors, gloves, boots...

We pay so much attention to protecting ourselves physically, we forget that our minds are not invincible, and our confidence certainly is not.

Your bank of confidence needs regular deposits, not just from others... but from you. Self confidence is the most valuable currency in life.

When you go to get on, and you hesitate, you falter and you start to ask yourself “can I do this?”, chances are, your account is almost empty.

Every time you laugh and say “oh no, I’m no good” or “so and so is 10x better than me”, you make a withdrawal from that account, and before you know it, your account is empty and you’re scared to get on.

But every time you say “I’m really pleased with how that went” or “I think I rode that really well”, your balance increases.

We need to learn to give ourselves a break, pat ourselves on the back and allow ourselves to feel proud of where we are - after all, most of the time we’ve worked bloody hard to get there!

Recognising your strengths is just as important as recognising your weaknesses. Never allow yourself or anyone else to empty that account.

Confidence is valuable, don’t bankrupt yourself.”

Author- cromwellandlucy

Morning Pole Work Clinic on July 8th at Hever . Super surface, in lovely quiet location, with experienced qualified coac...
26/06/2023

Morning Pole Work Clinic on July 8th at Hever . Super surface, in lovely quiet location, with experienced qualified coach. Ideal for young horses, and inexperienced or nervous riders . Message Fiona Dent for a place .

Back by popular demand 😊
29/05/2023

Back by popular demand 😊

Morning Pole Work clinic at Hever on 17th June,super school and quiet location. Ideal for young horses, inexperienced or nervous riders.
Message Confidentequestrians for a place !

Back by popular demand
29/05/2023

Back by popular demand

Morning Pole Work clinic at Hever on 17th June,super school and quiet location. Ideal for young horses, inexperienced or nervous riders.
Message Confidentequestrians for a place !

Morning Pole Work clinic at Hever on 17th June,super school and quiet location. Ideal for young horses, inexperienced or...
29/05/2023

Morning Pole Work clinic at Hever on 17th June,super school and quiet location. Ideal for young horses, inexperienced or nervous riders.
Message Confidentequestrians for a place !

25/05/2023

Please could everyone share this
Most of you know I work for the city of London police at Hampton court .
A job Vacancey has come up for a trainer.
Can I just say this is a well paid job approx £29,000
You work 4/5 days on and 3/4 days off . 7-5
Pension and of course a lovely Boss😂
It’s be confident riding unknown horses on busy roads( although you are likely not to have done that!)
You will also do yard duties , work solo on some days and if you can teach a little a bonus !
Interested contact me or look on the city of London police careers and vacancies for more info.

This is such an amazing photo!
04/05/2023

This is such an amazing photo!

I think most horse owners identify with this article in some way!
27/03/2023

I think most horse owners identify with this article in some way!

Chop that wood, carry water.

Last weekend I was talking with a group of students about the truth of a life with horses. And that most of our struggles with the situations we find ourselves in are because we don't like the truth. We fight in in our minds with how things are and wish that they were different. And that fight with the truth is the thing which causes us most pain.

Somewhere along the line - up with some other tricky life lies - we came to believe that working with horses was going to be easy. We will start at A (buy horse) and end at Z (ride horse wherever and whenever, with great ease and much happiness).

Now this is more of a possibility if you don't care how the horse feels or moves. If you view a horse as something akin to a bike, then you can treat it as such and you may well be able to achieve your end of the bargain - regular riding doing as you wish, when you wish.

However, if you actually care about the horse's side of the equation and give a monkeys about whether their saddle fits, their feet are balanced and pain free, and the greatest challenge of all - that they understand what you're asking and can actually respond to that physically and mentally - well then you have entered the realm of living with the truth. Once seen you can't unseen it.

And when you live with the truth then fighting against it only serves to cause you much greater pain than you need to encounter. If every time you become aware that your saddle doesn't fit, or your horse needs support with their digestion, or - horror of horrors - they may be finding you a bit tricky to be around, you go into a spiral of despair, then you're going to end up in much more trouble than if you just addressed the situation.

If you want a straightforward, transactional relationship where you say, "I want to go there and do this" and your parter always agrees, then I would suggest with much kindness, you get a bike. Your bike may get the occasional puncture or wobbly handle bars, but it's not got much more to bring to the party than that.

However, if you want a partnership with a living breathing creature with their own internal life, their own relationships, their own body which made no guarantees to you regarding such things as 'rideability', then it makes no sense to rail against that truth. That is what you got yourself into and if you get emotionally flattened every time something is tricky, then really you are missing the point.

Because when it comes to horses there may or may not come enlightenment, but there will always be plenty of wood chopping and water carrying. You just have to keep on going, seeing what you're being presented with today, trying to understand that, learning from it as best you can and then continuing.

This may lead you to the holy grail of riding your horse wherever and whenever with much joy on both sides, and it just as equally might not. Both are the truth of the situation and wishing it was anything other is the fastest route to insanity.

Photo shows Dartmoor ponies, with whom things are very straightforwards as I don't get involved in their lives in any other way than enjoying watching them.

These are rather a fashion with saddle designers!
10/03/2023

These are rather a fashion with saddle designers!

**THURSDAY RESEARCH MEME**

Todays research meme relates to knee block size. Some riders prefer a large knee block in order to provide extra support, however we need to be mindful that in “supporting” the rider, the knee block may restrict the movements of the rider, which may affect the rider-horse interaction and consequently affect equine locomotion. Important to consider the fit of the saddle for the rider as well as the horse and be cautious of restrictive knee blocks 🤓

For more information www.centaurbiomechanics.co.uk/blog/







An inspiring story of ever there was!
24/02/2023

An inspiring story of ever there was!

“This is Lesley Patterson , she won a BAFTA on Sunday for best adapted screenplay but the BBC cut her acceptance speech from the programme . They found time for inane interviews backstage, but not the story of how a 3 times World Champion Triathlete became a BAFTA winning scriptwriter.
On retiring as an elite sportswoman, she was asked “ What’s next “ she replied “ I am going to move half way across the world from my home here in Scotland
become a scriptwriter and win an Oscar .
That was more than 16 years ago when she landed in LA and set out to make a new version of the silent movie ‘ All Quiet On Thé Western Front’ .She bought the rights from the estate of the writer who wrote the best selling book that was made into an Oscar winning film. Over the course of 16 years she pitched the idea to anyone who would listen , listen they did but no one was interested in a German language film about World War 1 , without a star .
She used all he savings and remortgaged her house to keep her dream alive , but the dream was about to become a nightmare when she was told raise $10,000
or lose the rights to the film .
She was turned down by everyone she tried to borrow from , but fate played it’s hand . There was a triathlon taking place with $10,000 prize money .
Exactly the amount she needed , she entered and began training. The day before the race she fell from her bike and broke her shoulder. She was down but she was not out , she strapped up , cycled , ran and swum a mile using her legs and one arm .
She won the race , the film as we know was made with money from Netflix , and now she has won a BAFTA , what price she wins an Oscar.
So if you didn’t know this story, you do now .”

Great examples of what’s on the inside of your horses head!
18/02/2023

Great examples of what’s on the inside of your horses head!

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