10/08/2024
So as everyone has seen, TFD has relocated to Shropshire!
With the dust settling on the move, I wanted to share a personal update on the challenges I’ve faced over the last 18 months. As a professional in a difficult and lonely sport, I feel it’s important to be honest with where I’ve been and what’s been going on as I haven’t been competing as much as I previously have or would have wanted to.
Last year we relocated to Oxfordshire, which sadly wasn’t what we had hoped it was going to be. Difficult landlords resulted in losing business, which in turn affected my mental health, drastically. As each month went by I got worse. I started to resent my beautiful horses, I often struggled on a daily basis to even get up let alone get on them and train them. Alongside the daily struggles to just keep my business running, I struggled with extreme anxiety and guilt.
I felt so guilty for letting everyone down, everyone being my fiancé, friends, family, trusted and loyal owners and sponsors. Worst of all I was letting my horses down.
I was so unbelievably lucky to have the best network around me, my darling fiancé Matt, my wonderful mum, and the dearest of friends Maddie, Olly and Laura. All five of these people kept me alive. Olly talking to me at midnight because 111 hadn’t got back to me and my brain was spiralling to a desperate place.
Matt and I are onto pastures green and new and we are settling into a beautiful new yard and home in Market Drayton.
As I take a minute to reflect, I look back on the last six months with a huge amount of pride. Matt and I have endured what no one should ever have to endure. I won’t go into details, but the anxiety, stress and abuse, but we stand stronger than ever. I fought my way back from the brink mentally and I’m proud of when I was in the gutter that when I took my horses out we achieved results, those results are down to the horses I have the privilege of riding, they performed above and beyond for me, holding my hand everyday trying to say to me ‘it’ll be ok keep going, in the meantime here’s a rosette!’
In this challenging world that we live in, I wanted to put a snippet of my story out there. Life as a professional rider isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s tough, challenging and can be an incredibly lonely and cruel lifestyle. My biggest lesson over this period is that it’s important to reach out if you are not ok, because it’s ok not to be!
So as I continue through this year I’m looking forward to getting married. I’m loving being with my horses and I’m so excited to get back on the competition scene and to kick some arse in 2025!
T x