31/08/2024
It's been an interesting week.
This 'job', more accurately described as a lifestyle, literally requires blood, sweat and tears to do. That's normal, a normal contribution, alongside personal time, energy, love and physicality. I joke that I give away a slice of my soul sometimes because I have put so much into a case, to help a horse and their family. I guess this is a way of recognising that is does come with a cost. A cost, that I've signed up to, that is my absolute pleasure to give, that is my ultimate pride and that is very, very rarely questioned.
Every single day something comes up, that is out of our control, and requires us to change our planned day professionally and ultimately personally too. Frequently emergencies and horses that need attention sooner rather than later, last minute vaccinations owners have forgotten and added services people require. The unplanned "while you're here", "can I just show you this" etc invariably costs hours a day. Obviously reasons for delays and therefore changes, include distressed animals and upset owners - that we have significant patience and understanding for - as well as the more mundane traffic jams and road closures, neither of which we can plan for. We have to manage the diary around other peoples' lives and commitments too and, understandly, those change all the time as well. One change often having to affect another. This list is obviously very far from comprehensive; just an indication. Driving time is spent on the phone reporting test results, getting updates on cases, liaising with the team to ensure the right medications are ordered and dispensed, equipment available, diagnostic images shared etc etc etc. Lunch is a luxury. Time, not actually working during a day, is a premium.
The working day doesn't start or finish at a set time, I try very hard to enforce 8am to 6.30pm hours (a 10 and a half hour working day), but from dawn to late at night my phone goes off - sometimes it's urgent and critical, sometimes bad news, sometimes good. Whatever it is, the phone sounds the same so I have to act on it. I basically constantly triage whenever I'm awake. I've got quite trained to it now but I cannot tell you how much I appreciate my "downtime" being respected and routine issues being kept to within what others consider a normal working day. The service is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every day, every week.
The missed family dinner and events, the missed personal appointments (twice I've missed the dentist this year - my filling can wait whether it should, or not), the nights and nights and nights of lost sleep, the weekend time off abandoned, the friends messed around and let down, my own horse's patiently waiting because I've been really delayed before getting anywhere near them. The last on all this list is the individual care that's taken away from us as we give to others. Most of the time this really is unavoidable and action is required. Frequently, the above happens and it didn't need to have the impact it had. The culture appears to be "next day delivery". Unrealistic expectations demanded without a single thought or care to the consequence to others. The service that we provide is carried out by people, not machines and every contributor to the team is highly valued and immensely compassionate, patient and understanding.
In 3 days it is the practices 4th anniversary. I went out, on my own, to follow my life's dream. To offer passion, alongside practical care with a personal touch to provide health care to the horse. I like the term 'accessible' because I think we are, on many levels. We have nearly 5000 animals registered with us and our small team provide everything we can to facilitate their care.
This week, I have been ill. I'm lucky to not get ill as a whole and, in the 4 years of LT Equine I have not taken an unplanned day off for my own health, in fact I heve taken very, very few days off for this reason, in my working life. It's not something I have shouted about - obviously the show must go on. However, some people I have told, "sorry for the delay/moved appointment/not booking in your routine appointment yet, I've not been well this week". I've even used the word ill (which I hate) to explain to people and the response as a whole has been really disappointing. How many people ignored that reason, cited, quite frankly, silly excuses why they couldn't move their routine vaccination that has 2 weeks before it expires, how many people have responded by actually giving me grief! I've acted to ensure that the 24/7 service is responsibly covered by me and the rest of the team. I've tried very hard to sleep whenever I can and keep this bug to myself. I've dug deep, we've kept going. But the lack of humanity offered in return to what we give, all the time, has hurt. This is not a sympathy drive, I don't want those that do appreciate us to have to say it. I thought others though, should recognise that, like them, we are people, all human.
A simple "hope you feel better soon", that has been said by the minority, really goes a long way or acting to facilitate, something you can control, for someone who has asked for it. Illness is not an excuse but it's a valid reason and not something I should feel guilty about. Yes we are here to provide a service. No we are not robots. It's made me think that I hope I do that to others. Messages are fired off so quickly in snatched moments of time or while multitasking, but actually maybe taking a little more time for this is important. Writing 'take care' does not cost much. So I'm going to try harder there. Horse welfare is our highest priority, human welfare is up there too!
Like I said it's been an interesting week.
