27/08/2021
Rainbow bridge Remembrance Day, 28 August
Saying goodbye to a beloved pet can bring about a level of grief similar to when we lose a loved human. If we are fortunate enough, having spent many years sharing our homes, our lives and our hearts with our beloved pets we are able to prepare to say goodbye.
Our ability to cope when that inevitable sad day comes may be helped if we prepare, but what does that look like. At this point I just want to clarify, being prepared doesn’t mean an absence love or care so don’t feel guilty if you have chosen to take this step, it just means you are getting ready…
When you learn that loss is close you may experience a form of grief that may include feelings of anger, guilt and sadness. Take heart that these emotions are very normal and to an extent allows you to begin to say goodbye and find closure.
Sad a time as it is, you could make it special by creating and working through a bucket list, get creative, tear up the rule book and make some incredible memories, have you had to endure being stared you out when you eat pizza, have you ever wondered what your pet would look like dressed as a pirate? Now’s the time…
Aside from being with your pet to carry out their daily care needs, take time to enjoy being with them, sit with them, give plenty of cuddles and fuss, even a nice massage. Allow yourself to wander down memory lane; what have they taught you about yourself, did they help you to slow down, become more attentive to the little things, did they help you to find your inner child, or test your patience? These are the memories to be grateful for.
Something to consider is how, when and where you will say goodbye, decisions that you don’t want to leave until the last minute to make - some vets are willing to come to the home with prior arrangement, will other family members and/or pet’s be present (which can, in itself, help with their closure)? will there be a burial or cremation, are there practicalities and considerations to bear in mind.
Don’t forget to reach out to supportive friends and family, speaking about your emotions is beneficial in the grieving process, it helps to make sense of what you’re experiencing, it’s also an opportunity to ask for practical support like being accompanied to vet visits, someone who will be a distraction and take your mind off the intensity of the situation. The grief and emotions will come in waves.
Talk and engage with your veterinary team, ask questions about the diagnosis, how things may progress, what signs and symptoms should you be looking out for, what options are available. What arrangements or third parties are they aware of that may be beneficial including bereavement counselling with someone who appreciates the bond between a person and their animal companion.
Being prepared will help you to cope with the inevitable sad day, which in turn helps support your mental health and well-being. Stay safe and well wherever you are in the process.
