11/07/2024
Morning you lovely lot.
I've worked a with a few puppies recently and it really took me back to when we were looking for our own puppy and all the factors and decisions we had to make when deciding who to reach out too.
It can be such a minefield and as much as we hate to admit it, we all have an idea in our head of what our ideal puppy would be like, we have a dream of the things we will do with them and what our life will look like with our new family member.
For us personally, when Keela had some negative experiences with off lead dogs in her second fear period, this changed everything for us. Those dreams we had of long walks on the beach, days out with her and her coming everywhere with us came crashing down around us as she suddenly found the world a scary place and started barking lunging and freaking out at people, kids, cars, dogs, cats etc. This meant our world got really small really quick which we tried to navigate and understand what was going on.
At that point in our journey, I had read so many books, watched so many webinars and carried out so much research, I was sure I could resolve this. Unfortunately what I had not encountered in all my research was that you can't change the behaviour without addressing and supporting how the dog is feeling. Reactivity is unique for each dog who experiences it and there is no one size fits all method to resolving it.
It broke my heart how people looked at her when she was panicking and freaking out at the most mundane things. I was told she was aggressive and shouldn't be allowed out in public many times. I knew that she was just scared, conflicted and not feeling safe, and was showing me that in the only way she knew how, but they didn't.
I genuinely went through a long grieving period for the life I had envisioned for her and us as a family and that was a real process that I had to work through. Getting rid of that picture I had built up of what our life would look like was hard and I'm not ashamed to admit that it took me a while to stop being angry at the people who I felt had set her up to fail, just by not having the basic management in place for their dogs.
Now I am much further down the line in our journey, I see that actually the potential for Keela to find life overwhelming was only one bad incident away as she is such a sensitive soul and that is just part of her personality. She is allowed to be exactly who she is and it's my job as her guardian to set her up to succeed, nurture her in a safe, compassionate way which enables her to see I've got her back, she is safe and the world isn't quite as scary as she thinks it is.
As someone who experiences panic attacks, I could totally relate to her massive overwhelm at seemingly "silly" things and I was determined to do better, learn more and change how we did things. All the "training" I was trying to do went out the window and I realised that the only thing that really mattered right there and then, was that she felt safe. A basic right that everyone should have is to feel safe.
The relationship we have with Keela is on a totally different level to what it would have been, had we not had the experiences we have had with her. We've had to re think what welcoming a dog into our home really meant, looked like and entailed. The learning we have gone on to do due to Keela being who she is, has made me such a better guardian and meant although her world is small right now, it's not as small as it was and we are making progress, little baby steps and always at her pace. Her life is so much more enriched then potentially it ever would have been had she been your bog standard dog who just got on with life.
By giving her the time, space and grace to just be her, not the version of her I hoped she would be, she has taught me more than any dog ever will and I will forever be grateful to her for that.
Being able to accept our dogs for who they are is massive, yes there are things we can work on with coaching, positive experiences, compassion and patience, there are ways we can build their resilience, confidence, skillset and outlook on life, but we can't forget that they are individuals, beautifully unique with their own feelings and personalities.
It's so important to not get lost in that idea of what we thought our dogs would be like, and actually just look at the dog in front of us, accept them for the individuals they are and help them to be the best version of them that they can be.
At the end of the day, that should be a right that we all have, whether we are human or animal ❤️
