03/01/2023
TRIGGER WARNING STORY OF ABUSE AND DEATH, but happy ending.
I am So proud of my son! He has come so far. I finally talked over that difficult conversation. The one where the s***m donor (father) walks out on a child age just 3 years old, and never looks back, never supports, his last words to me as I hold a dead mother and an autistic child.. "you will cope, you always do" ring in my ears to this day!,
For those that dont know, he wiped my sons nose in the fact he has bred 2 other children with another woman who mysteriously died the same way my mother did when I was stupid enough to leave him alone with her ONCE. Left her alone, my mom! with this man who I trusted, and I came home to her death! and find my son 3 years old alone with no one caring for him, stuck in a cot! starving, cold and alone! I lived with that guilt from that day on. Well That man has found yet another victim. I survived beatings from him, his second was killed by him and he got away with that and killing my mother. She needs to watch out, but its not my place to say., she grown up, so can make her own decisions.
So I ask my son what he remembers, how he feels and if he has any opinions. and he is aware of the S***m donor, and he is more than aware. "The man can keep his 2 other s***ms" he said (meaning his kids). "They are nothing to do with me. We are not related, we are not family." He is adamant on that. The killings as I call them my mother and the woman he left me for married and then killed., hiss wife! My son doesn't know about them. He knows enough of the damage all done by the s***m donor (I cant call him a father) by his own hand and actions. He has the evidence, from my missing front tooth, my broken glasses I keep to remind me how bad the human race can be, to his own memories of seeing me being punched and thrown down the stairs and being told that So called father cant join in Minecraft because he is working, only to find he is playing Minecraft with the other 2 s***ms! My son wailed that Xmas in pain, and I comforted him, and we played Minecraft together. Yes that memory lingers still! .
Anyway If anyone asks my son about his father now, he says
"He died when I was little, I never knew him".
My son would not go near him. he stated he would "beat the @ #!T out of him" if he saw him. so he has thankfully moved on in his life, happy in his world, studying at uni doing his Astrophysics course! That's rocket science to us lowlifes... and I am so so proud of him.
Yes this was my life behind the scenes and why I wasn't showing dogs as much as I would like, but I had priorities, My son needed me and I couldn't let him down.
Anyway a story with a happy ending!
We did it. together just me and my baby boy, we survived and he is becoming so much more now. He has grown to a handsome man who may find love one day, any eligible bachelor men out there call him! Sorry girls, handsome as he is, his interest is elsewhere! More than that, he has his own mind and BOY what a mind, and voice, an opinion! and is going from strength to strength being awarded student of the year at Uni, something that's not handed out every year. He impressed the board of governors and his tutors so much they set the award for him! and in case I didn't say it. I AM PROUD OF HIM!
So a happy ending. 21 this year! how time flies!
I LOVE my son, and blow ne down he loves me! (as a son loves a mom obviously!)
Perfect ending!
Thanks for reading. Sorry i wasnt showing dogs or around as much as I would have liked to have been, but thats life! I still watched, cared, helped and advised where I could, and of course, doubly blessed I got to judge both my breeds at Cha level including a breed club in Ireland (samoyeds) and UK (Shibas)!
so yes I feel blessed, older , tougher, but I am still here and very much wiser!
The end... ish 🙂
