Equi-Trust Programme

08/12/2024

This is an area close to my heart. It’s also a big part of the work I do using my psychology and psychotherapeutic senses….

Tactfully posed questions at the right time with a sensitive approach can really affirm the decision either way, allowing the relationship to evolve in a healthy direction.

You could sell this horse you know?

This is something I say to students more often than you might expect, and it can be met with a look as if I’ve suggested they eat their own toes. It’s as if giving voice to the option that you sell a horse is a huge implication of failure, or lack, or cold heartedness. And it’s not.

I’m always saying it lightly, because it’s worth at least putting out on the table. We can find other softer ways of describing it, such as rehoming or finding a new dancing partner or whatever helps us live with the fact that we ‘own’ another living soul. And, we can also take a long hard look at these two possibilities.

- Is this horse one I really, really need in my life?

- Am I the human this horse really, really needs in theirs?

Having horses in your life is amazing, wonderful, fulfilling and life giving. And it’s really bloody hard work. For many of us it takes up all our money, spare time and energy. To my mind this means that trying to ensure you have the very best match you possibly can is only sensible. If you’re terrified every time you go to ride, for instance, it may not be that you’ve lost all confidence.- you may just have the wrong horse.

For a horse, having humans in their life can be a tough call. Especially if that human wants them to do things which aren’t really their strong suit. Or needs them to live in a way that doesn’t really suit them. Or is scared of the power you (horse) has that they didn’t really recognise on purchase.

Or maybe the two of you just don’t really get along. Not all horses and humans are matches made in heaven. We’re not designed to be in long term relationships with everyone.

And sometimes if I ask someone this question it clears up for them that there is absolutely no question about this. They want this horse above all else and are now really sure of that fact. By considering the question we can get very clear about the answer.

(It’s still worth considering if this horse wants you, but that can take a bit more soul searching).

I have asked myself this question a few times about Des, and I am always met with a big fat ‘That is not even a consideration’ in response from the inside of me. It’s not on the table, ever. I’d live in a tent before I’d sell that horse, etc etc, you get the gist.

In turn, I’ve had to commit to getting my s**t together if I’m going to be the human he would like to hang out with.

That’s not always been true about other horses. The good grey horse Fuego was with me for a decade and I am hugely grateful to him. He’s been a big favourite for many people. Reliable, kind, easy to have around, sweet natured, good with other horses, kids and dogs. He’s saintly. But ultimately my horse - no….Thats why he’s gone on loan to a human who I hope will feel about him the way I feel about Des.

If you’re a student of mine and I ask you this question it doesn’t mean I think you should sell your horse. But I figure each of us should be quietly checking in concerning this every now and again. As much for the sake of the horse as for us…

N.b Des often puts me on Human Deals, but I’ve got his password so I just delete the ad.

07/12/2024

🙋🏻‍♀️ If you’re anything like me, you like to buy your horse a Christmas present…

🎁 What if you actually invested in yourself this Christmas, in order to gift to your horse? To truly be present?

💝 I’m offering 20% off 6 sessions of ridden and mental mindset sessions up until March 2025.

🛟 I can help with…..
✅ Lost confidence
✅ Anxiety sensations when in certain scenarios
✅ Trauma rewind and recovery from accidents, falls, emotional upsets that have occurred (sometimes not even horse related, but now affect your enjoyment with your horse)
✅ Relationship interpretation issues with your horse
✅ Indecision about wanting to be with your horse/keep your horse
➕ Many more emotional and psychological issues besides.

💪 My approach is unique and fitted to you and the combination that is you and your horse’s personal story. Coaching (mind and body) is a large element of the felt success, as well as interventions to help process and evolve your mind-body’s blockages and conditioned patterning.

🤔 The choice is yours….success and change or non-fulfilment and stagnancy.

04/11/2024

🌚The nights are drawing in….

💭 The challenges of winter with horses often bring us to question a number of our own reasons and behaviours as well as what we want out of our relationships with our horses.

🤦🏻‍♀️ Oftentimes confusion and some bad luck mixed in with maybe a few bad rides can lead us to seriously ponder all things “equestrian”.

🆘 I can offer an objective view and coach you through any small or big decisions. As well as discussion I will coach you physically with your horse.

🏆Over only 6 sessions you will be back on top of your game.

🆕 As I am new to the Warwickshire area I am offering new clients who book this service between now and March 2025 a whopping 20% discount.

☎️ Please do text or email and we can have a no obligation chat where you can ask me any questions.
[email protected]
07811 767578

03/10/2024

Calling all riders who feel something is blocking their progress with their horse.

I am a specialist in equestrianism as well as rider psychology and psychotherapy.

If you have lost confidence, a fear is stopping you from doing what you dreamed of doing with your horse, or you have found that in certain situations anxiety and triggers are making you feel you just can’t do it, I am equipped to help you. If you know a trauma exists then the Rewind technique is to hand.

In sessions we can work together both in clinic and with your horse to re-establish all that may have been lost. We can even discover new skill sets that you didn’t even know existed.

Confidence has always been my focus for riders and there is a very clear practical pathway to developing it with your horse. You can work together on this, inspiring each other.

Work that we do in clinic will produce confident future steps, enabling progress in your direction.

Understanding how your mind works and how certain fears may have embedded themselves will mean you gain the key to unblocking your path to progress.

Contact me for a free 15min phone consultation which gets the process and progress started.

[email protected]
07811 767578
🙏🏼

28/09/2024

I would add to that, when finding support consider a therapist who can offer good counsel, and who understands horses and living with them. I’ve helped many horse owners through the decision stage, some who have suffered big emotional responses such as trauma and anxiety and depression as well as catastrophic thinking. All this gets in the way of making a rational decision about staying with horses. Once these emotional blocks are removed a clearer path is once again visible and a surety of decision is reached.

Considering giving up horses? You need to read this first…

See more via link below

25/09/2024

If you’ve lost your confidence hacking or getting out of the arena….

This is where I can help with a thoroughly holistic approach so you can reap the benefits of riding out and about. It really does open up your world, and that of your horse’s. 🌍

Want to reduce anxiety, depression, anger, confusion, fatigue? Well, of course we do! Ride or lead your horse wherever green meets blue. Serotonin (the calming natural brain chemical) is increased and cortisol (the stress hormone) is decreased when we spend time in green spaces, like forests, parks, and grasslands. Similar effects occur near blue water, including rivers, oceans, seas, and lakes. And one recent study suggests that the pairing of green and blue spaces is especially nurturing. But choose your calm older horse for this trip, unless you want to spoil the fun with high blood pressure and fear-based adrenaline! https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/diet-and-lifestyle/2024/how-natural-spaces-nurture-the-brain-052324

28/08/2024

💭 A thought that often pops up in riders minds.

🗯️ Its also a phrase I’ve had many a rider say to me on first meeting in an exacerbated manner. I’ve also been able read it in their bodies when working with their horse.

↔️ Our thoughts, inner beliefs about ourselves, and negative thinking patterns - which can often be rooted in early conditioning - will all be felt by our horses. It then feeds back into us.

🗻 Recognising and accepting these thoughts and beliefs is the beginning of the process. Learning to deal with them and retrain your brain can feel a bit like climbing a mountain. That’s why it’s worth enlisting help.

🧗 You wouldn’t climb unknown territory without a guide who knows the right paths and trials.

🧠 Your brain is an amazing structure, very plastic in its ability to relearn and form new thinking patterns. Techniques are available to help you learn and then practice the mindset that is healthier for both you and your horse.

🤔 And what’s amazing and very very helpful to you in this process, is that THE IMAGINATION IS STRONGER THAN THE WILL. So even if your motivation is at rock bottom, we can work together with your imagination to get you climbing that mountain and changing your mindset. Then your behaviour will match your mindset and your horse will feedback your positive vibes.

💣 You can change from “oh, I’m never going to get this” to “oh my god, I’m doing it” in as few as 6 sessions with the Equi-Trust Programme and sometimes in some cases, even fewer.

🪄If you want to rekindle your horse-human relationship AND improve your mindset then do reach out, I’m here to help. 🙏🏼

24/08/2024

⛈️ The weather!

❓ Does it interfere with your time with your horse❓

🤔 Do you find yourself making excuses not to ride or work with your horse because of the weather?

🤯 Do you consider this for far too long and in doing so perhaps not allow yourself or your horse to learn valuable lessons?

⚠️ Maybe you once had an accident that has led to a trauma response or “triggering” when certain types of weather are present, leading you to become anxious and avoidant when the winter weather really sets in.

⛔️ Making an educated decision based on your unique circumstances, means that you can work with your horse in various weathers. It’s about discovering your blocks and being aware of the level of education that you are both at.

➕ Adding the appropriate level of challenge can bring about a new level in trust. Sometimes the environment/weather is that challenge. Being sensible about the level of challenge is vital.

❌ Knowing when not to do things is just as important as knowing when to do them.

🔍 If this resonates with you and you want to learn more about how we can help….just drop us a line 🙏🏼

22/08/2024

The Legend that is Diva! I’m so reluctant to lose my fab trimmer Kat Jay, after moving to Warwickshire that I took Diva for a “clandestine” meeting with said lady in the lovely village of Stoke Lyne….parked up next to the derelict pub and Diva got her pedi!! 😁 Thanks Kat! 🙏🏼 Testament to Diva’s training, relationship with me and attitude! 💪

15/08/2024

❓How is your relationship with your horse?

❓How is your relationship with yourself?

➡️ As part of this definition explains, how we connect or regard and behave with others leads to “relationship”.

🔄 The quality of that relationship could then be quantified by the quality or amount of understanding within each interaction.

🧑‍🧒 Specie to same specie relationship is one thing, but how clear and understanding is the relationship you have from your specie to another specie.

⁉️ Has something got in the way of the communication train that flows between the two of you?

➖ A negative thought that has stemmed from a negative experience and/or belief can have a huge impact upon how your horse perceives you.

💭 That perception will then be the filter through which the horse sees you, and thus each interaction or command you give will be tainted by something that has no relevance to the present moment.

🌀 The horse will then answer the “tainted” question/command/interaction, giving you a reply that can often be far from what you had expected in terms of what you thought you were asking.

⬇️ Very quickly a relationship can go down hill. With each new command and response being “dirtied” by the perception and incongruency of the human. The horse will always reply truthfully to what he has perceived.

🪄 As a Human Givens psychotherapist, and experienced equestrian I have techniques to hand that can dissolve the “muddied communication” and help you to monitor more closely the cleanliness of your language - body language, verbal and energetic - with your horse.

♾️ This learning then spreads throughout all your other relationships which is a bonus for all involved including yourself 🤩

🤔 If you feel something is blocking your relationship with your horse (or other mammal) then let’s discover the reason together and remove the blockage so you can carry on your journey.

14/08/2024

Janet of Horse Brain Human Brain is a very good resource when it comes to our equine relationships.

This little nugget is one of the very reasons the Equi-Trust Programme exists. Having seen and helped so many riders dealing with fear and anxiety over the past 25years of teaching, it’s well worth knowing that you can get a handle on your emotions. Not only that, we can help them disperse and learn about how they can be telling you something very important and enlightening. Thus allowing you once more to enjoy that special time with your horse.

Great mastery comes from truly knowing yourself. 💫

HBHB Tidbits - Did you know that a horse can tell the difference between the smell of human joy and the smell of human fear? This discovery comes from the lab of French animal physiologist Plotine Jardot and was investigated along with the help of her colleagues at the Universite de Tours. France is a leading country when it comes to the study of equine minds. There's still more much more work to do before the horse's ability to smell human emotion is fully understood, but we're getting there.

(HBHB Tidbits is a repeating post that offers pieces of little known information from the book "Horse Brain Human Brain." Occasionally, like today, I add in a nugget from my work on the next book.)

08/08/2024

✨Confidence….

That magic ‘thing’ that so many riders state to me, that they consider they lack.

This is one area that my form of psychotherapy can have a huge impact upon.

❓How will I work to help regain your confidence❓

1️⃣ Firstly, it’s about us working together. I need you to be committed and ready to get a little uncomfortable so that we can untangle exactly why you perceive their to be a lack of confidence. Rapport will be key.

2️⃣ Secondly, I have a variety of cognitive and behavioural techniques that I am practiced in, which can help to lessen the effects or even diminish the cause of the lack.

3️⃣ Thirdly, my experience with a huge number of horses and riders means my understanding of your troubles is thorough and thus it’s likely you are not the only one to be feeling what you’re feeling. I will recognise and put into context your current issue before working to resolve it.

4️⃣ Fourth and finally, we will use mental rehearsal to work on a thoroughly thought out and discussed “realistic to you” change of behaviour. In reality we will subtly imprint the change you need, in order for your brain to perform the “correct” action.

🦋 I hope this gives you some clue into how I am ready and willing to help you. 💫

05/08/2024

🤗 Welcome to Equi-Trust Programme. We are here to design programmes for you and your horse. We will listen to your current situation with your equine partner and work with you to resolve your difficulties ….

Demelza has extensive experience with horses; living with them and competing homebreds to high level, training (French Classical) and coaching for over twenty years. Further to this she is a graduated professional psychotherapist (HG).

Combining these two pursuits gives her the ideal footing to offer programs to help remedy your confidence issues and decision making processes…

In short Demelza can guide the relationship you have with your horse, help problem solve and support the challenges you may be facing.

Keep a close eye on this page for further details and please feel free to get in contact. A confidential service is of course paramount.

Assistance can cover…
✅ Rider mindset
✅ Known rider anxiety, “loss of nerve”, lack of belief
✅ Trauma recovery
✅ PTSD after a traumatic fall or accident for example, no matter how many years have passed.
✅ Mental rehearsal for big events
✅ Decision making, for example; should I still keep this horse, should I sell him, do I wish to continue with horses?
✅ As yet unknown rider mental blocks. “Why can’t I do ‘this’ anymore?”
✳️ Etc etc….there are many reasons as to why you can get stuck or confused when with your horse, so no case need be thought of as impossible following the model Demelza works from.

A note from Demelza…
“My life’s work has always been to improve the lives of horses. This, with each client in terms of training and coaching, I have endeavoured to pass on much academic knowledge as well as experience. I realised some years ago that to help more horses, I needed to help their humans. And so this offering has evolved. I’m incredibly grateful to be able to be of service to those that wish it, and to use my life’s experience to benefit”. 💫

Programmes developed with you in mind. Helping you to regain your connection with your horse.