Canine Advocate 1-2-1

26/11/2025

25/11/2025

Want less stress, overwhelm or frustration in life with your dog?
Here’s something that can help, without actually 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 anything.

Quick thought exercise:
What’s the behaviour your dog does that really pushes your buttons?

Got it?
Good.

Now: for the next 60 seconds, don’t think about it.
Don’t think about how it makes you feel.
Don’t think about the frustration, the embarrassment, the “I just want this to stop” moments.

Give it a full minute of not thinking about it.

How did it go?

If Ironic Process Theory is right, you probably didn’t make it very far.
Telling yourself not to think about something usually guarantees that it pops up more.

In reality, many people spend their mental energy focusing on what they don't want.
“Don’t jump.”
“Don’t pull.”
“Don’t bark.”
And without realising it, they’re putting a mental spotlight on the very things they want less of.

Our thoughts also influence our emotions, so if you’re constantly focusing on what you don’t want your dog to do, you’re repeatedly triggering the stress and worry attached to those moments.

You can’t force yourself to stop thinking about them. But here's the cool thing.

Your attention is a spotlight.
When you catch yourself shining it on the negatives, the “Don't do that's”, and the "I really wish you'd stop doing this's:

1. Acknowledge it. Let it be there without fighting it. We know suppression only makes it louder.
2. Then ask yourself:
What 𝘥𝘰 I want instead?
What 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 my dog need in this moment to do something different?
What small thing 𝘤𝘢𝘯 I do to move us in that direction?

That’s the difference between reacting and responding.
Redirecting the spotlight allows us to feel different and better. To respond proactively. To feel differently towards your situation and your dog.

This becomes much harder when you’re already overwhelmed, so if you’re stuck on where to redirect that spotlight next, tell me the thoughts that are keeping you stuck.
I’ll help you gently redirect it into somewhere far more helpful.

25/11/2025

I’m always struck by how often conversations about dogs revolve around the “right tools” to train them. Collars, leads, harnesses, and ones I wont mention as I don't believe giving them air time, each promising to fix a behaviour, solve a problem, or make a dog “better.” But here’s the thing: dogs have lived alongside humans for tens of thousands of years, long before any of these tools were invented. And they did just fine.

In fact, most dogs on the planet today still live alongside humans without collars, leads, or training gear. They navigate their worlds through instinct, relationship, and adaptation, not through equipment. So why do we keep reaching for tools to teach, instead of reaching inward to understand?

Dogs are not just companions. They are our bridge back to the natural world. In a time when many of us feel disconnected, overwhelmed, or adrift, dogs offer a quiet reminder of what it means to be present, to communicate without words, and to live in relationship with another being that is still connected to their true selves. They show us how to listen, how to empathise, and how to succeed in connection, not control.

That’s not to say tools aren’t important. In our modern world, tools are essential for safety. Leads, collars, and harnesses help us protect our dogs in busy streets, unfamiliar places, and unpredictable situations. But tools should support wellbeing, not replace understanding. When we use tools to teach, we risk adding another layer of disconnection. We start focusing on mechanics instead of meaning.

Lets not learn how to use a tool to teach, lets learn how to connect. Learn how dogs communicate. Learn what makes a relationship thrive. Learn how to meet a dog’s emotional and physical needs in ways that honour their sentience and individuality.

Because when you do, something beautiful happens. You don’t just end up with a happier dog. You end up learning something profound about yourself.

25/11/2025

THE CHOICE TO CHOOSE
WHY DOGS SHOULD BE ALLOWED CHOICE

Imagine every little detail of your life is controlled - what and when you eat, where you sleep, when you’re allowed inside or outside, when you’re allowed to go for a walk and if you’re allowed to stop and sniff, who you’re allowed or forced to interact with, what activities you’re allowed to participate in, when you’re given attention, where you’re allowed to be touched etc.

This would create stress and anxiety, a feeling of helplessness, apathy, a lack of confidence and many other negative emotions. The same is true for dogs.

Dogs live in a world where just about everything is controlled by us.

Allowing choice, no matter how simple or small that choice may be, provides so many benefits.

The context and parameters in which we allow choice is obviously important.

Safety, boundaries, environmental factors, other people or animals always need to be taken into account.

A very long time ago, when my daughter was little, she would flat-out refuse to put on the set of clothes I had picked out for her.

Tantrums and stubbornness would often make us late for wherever we were going. This problem was solved by laying out 3 different sets of clothes and allowing her to choose which set she was going to wear.

These were still within my parameters and were still my choice, but by doing this I had allowed her a choice and the problem was solved, without harsh discipline or emotional fall out.

Dogs that are allowed some control over their environment and how they respond to situations are more confident, more emotionally balanced, more resilient, better able to cope with stressful situations, less anxious, less stressed and generally have fewer behaviour problems.

Look for simple, safe ways to provide more choice for your dog.

Improve their wellbeing and quality of life in a world that seeks to dominate and control.

25/11/2025

Can We Really Know What a Dog Is Feeling?

Emotions are private experiences. That’s true for us as humans and just as true for our dogs. We can’t see into their minds and know for certain what they feel. What we can see is behaviour, and behaviour is the window that gives us our best clues.

A wagging tail, a bark, lip licking, pacing, leaning in for contact… all of these are outward signs that tell part of a story. But none of them are the emotion itself.

This is where things often get tricky.
A wagging tail doesn’t always mean “happy.” It might mean excitement, frustration, or even uncertainty.
When dogs lower their head or avoid eye contact, people often describe it as “guilt.” In fact, these behaviours are usually appeasement signals, attempts to reduce tension, show non-threat, or diffuse conflict.
Rolling over doesn’t always mean “belly rub please.” Depending on context, it can also be an appeasement signal or a vulnerable posture when a dog feels uncomfortable.

Careful observation is more useful than guessing at emotions.
That means instead of saying “my dog is guilty” we might describe:

👉 “My dog is lowering her body, avoiding eye contact, and showing tension around her mouth.”

When we describe behaviour accurately, without adding assumptions, we get closer to understanding what our dogs might be experiencing. We also set ourselves up to respond in ways that are fairer, kinder, and more effective.

It doesn’t mean we will ever know for sure what’s happening inside, emotions remain private. But by watching carefully, considering the context, and respecting the signals our dogs give us, we can support them with compassion and a more informed perspective.

18/11/2025

The longer I do this work, the more I think “behaviour modification” is a slightly misleading phrase. Most days, the behaviour that needs to change first is ours.

We talk a lot about training plans, protocols, and skills for dogs, and those absolutely matter. Building fluent, flexible skills is a huge part of how dogs can experience real agency and predictability in their lives. But somewhere along the way, we quietly absorbed the idea that dogs should be the ones making most of the compromises and we should be the ones deciding what skills they get to have.

“I want to live my life the way I always have, in the environments I prefer, with the routines I like. My dog will just need to adapt.”

When that is the starting point, the dog’s behaviour becomes the problem to solve rather than a conversation partner to listen to.

For me, this is about two main things: a)expectations and b) bodily autonomy. A dog’s body is not public property and it is not an extension of ours. Access to that body, to their movement, to their space, should not be assumed as a default. When a dog says “no,” that is communication about their boundaries, not a malfunction in need of suppression.

Skill building matters here because it can support autonomy rather than erase it. Teaching dogs reliable behaviours that actually open and close access to touch, procedures, social interactions, and the environment can give them meaningful control over what happens to their body. Consent signals, start-button behaviours, opt-outs that are honoured, and well-rehearsed exits are how we operationalise the idea that the dog’s body belongs to the dog.

The harder part is on the human side. It means questioning our expectations instead of treating our lifestyle, schedule, and social habits as fixed and asking the dog to absorb all the cost. Maybe the way we socialise changes. Maybe certain visitors meet us elsewhere for a while. Maybe our sport ambitions soften, or we choose different environments altogether. If we make the choice to bring a dog into our home, we have to be prepared to do some of the compromising.

It also means learning how to hold a genuine dialogue. Treating so-called “problem behaviour” as feedback about the conditions we have created. Listening when a dog says “this is too loud, too close, too fast, too rough” rather and changing the situation, not just the cue or the reinforcement schedule. Taking seriously that sometimes the ethical answer is not “train more” but “ask for less.”

The way we negotiate all of this with one dog in one household is not separate from the bigger picture. The same story scales up. In our private lives we often expect dogs to fit around human routines. At the societal level, our systems do much the same thing.

We still tend to see dogs in human homes as dependants in our possession, sometimes even as extensions of ourselves/their humans. That framing runs through everything. It underpins laws about “dog control,” shapes who is welcomed in public spaces and on what terms, and colours what “dog-friendly” really means. Often it translates to “dogs may be present as long as they stay quiet, invisible, and tightly managed for human comfort.”

A dog-centred lens would start somewhere else. It would ask, when we write bylaws or design parks, footpaths, and shared spaces: what does this look like from the dog’s side. Where can they move freely, sniff, rest, and step away from pressure. How do we protect their right to be in public without turning their body into public property for strangers to touch.

This is not a call to let dogs run loose in traffic. It is a call to write rules and build infrastructure that assume dogs belong in public life; that they have a right to education and support to navigate it; and that their “no,” their choices, and their bodily boundaries still matter once they leave the house.

For those of us working professionally with dogs and their caregivers, behaviour support and teaching will always be part of what we do. But if we take agency and bodily autonomy seriously, then the central question shifts from “How do I get this dog to stop doing X?” to something more honest and more collective:

👉 What would it look like to change ourselves, and our systems, so dogs don’t have to give up so much of themselves just to be allowed in?

04/11/2025

:
Be Your Dog’s Voice

Advocating for your dog isn’t always easy, especially when it means speaking up to friends, family, strangers or even professionals like vets or groomers, Trainers etc. But it’s one of the most important things we can do as canine caregivers.

Sometimes that means politely saying “no, thank you” when a stranger wants to pet them.

Sometimes it means refusing to hand your dog over for an exam or grooming session if you know your presence helps them stay calmer.

If your professional can't or won't work in a way your dog needs, find one who will.

Being your dog’s advocate doesn’t mean being rude, it means being confident, kind, and firm in protecting their comfort and safety.

Your dog depends on you to speak up when they can’t, and that’s not something to feel guilty or embarrassed about.

It can feel intimidating to stand your ground, BUT its also our job to think in advance how you can minimise the stressors.

If your dog struggles with other dogs and needs to see the vet, wait in the car, call to say you're there. Book the first or last appointment of the day so the waiting room is empty. Tell them when you book the appointment and ask what they can do to support your dog, taking them through a side door for example.

If your dog hates being placed on a table for examination or grooming, ask or find a groomer or vet who will work or examine on the floor.

If your Trainer or Behaviourist tells you to behave in ways that is harsh and makes you feel uncomfortable, STOP them, learning shouldn't hurt and shouldn't be scary. I know you've paid money, but is money worth more than your dogs welfare and likely longer term fallout from harsh methods.

Sadly not every dog professional ACTUALLY has YOUR dogs individual needs and BEST interests at heart, that's a sad reality of the dog world.

Some are focused on outdated methods, some are focused on the money, some are focused at just getting the job done and quickly and some are focused on aesthetics over welfare.

Don't ever be shamed into silence when advocating for your dog.

There is no greater gift to a dog than a human who advocates for them.

( Picture of my beautiful black and white Siberian Husky Newton, the bestest boy EVER)

30/10/2025

Why Your Dog’s Behaviour Sometimes Seems Confusing

Sometimes dogs show behaviours that seem contradictory. A common example is when a dog approaches as if to greet, showing interest and willingness to interact, but then suddenly growls, snaps, or even bites.

This is known as conflict-related behaviour. It occurs when the dog is caught between two incompatible motivations, such as the wish to approach and engage, and the simultaneous urge to avoid because of fear, discomfort, or uncertainty.

This can feel confusing or even worrying, but what looks unpredictable often makes perfect sense once we understand what’s causing it. What seems sudden is usually a predictable outcome of approach–avoidance conflict. Conflict behaviours matter because they place the dog under stress, caught between opposing motivations. Over time, repeated conflict can increase emotional strain and risk.

One of the main aims in behaviour support is to reduce conflict wherever possible. That might involve:

• Adjusting the environment to give the dog more space and choice
• Changing how we approach or interact to reduce pressure
• Supporting the dog’s sense of safety so they can make clearer decisions

Recognising conflict behaviours helps us respond with empathy, maintain safety, and create situations where dogs no longer feel trapped between approach and avoidance.

06/10/2025

Pressure is everywhere.
And what impacts one dog may have little effect on another.
But understanding what a dog perceives as pressure can be make or break.
Obvious things cause pressure…
Like a leash if I tug on it.
But less obvious things do too…
Like my body language, the direction my shoulders are facing, or even an offered treat.
With overly fearful dogs like Othello, an acute understanding of pressure is the difference between establishing trust…
And sending him into panic and triggering aggression.
(Not only do I never want to do that to him, I also don’t want to be on the other end of a 120lb dog who thinks he’s fighting for his life. A panicking dog flailing on the leash is unnecessary, dangerous, and detrimental—despite what social media trainers show.)
So what causes pressure for him?
Me.
Hands down the biggest source for this guy.
But it’s not just me…
Scents can do it—one minute he’s air-scenting, the next he’s running for the hills.
Noises can too.
And so can indirect things we don’t usually think about.
Food is tough for Othello—but only when I’m present.
Like many fearful dogs, food has been paired with people violating his space, reaching into his boundaries, and trying to “win him over.”
Even seeing or smelling a treat triggers anticipation of my hand reaching in.
Add his history with resource guarding, which has left him covered in scars, and food isn’t positive right now—it’s pressure.
Listen…
If our goal is to build confidence and give him positive experiences…
We need to understand what causes pressure.
Not to avoid it entirely, but to minimize it, front-load him with positive experiences, build a bank of trust, and then slowly reintroduce it in manageable doses—never forcing him to feel he has to fight for his life.
That’s how we help him cope…
And that’s how we earn his trust.