22/03/2025
I finished binge-watching The Good Place this week and towards the end of the series, Eleanor and Chidi discussed what death is like.
Chidi says, "Picture a wave in the ocean. You can see it, measure it - its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through - and it's there, and you can see it, and you know what it is: it's a wave. And then it crashes on the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be for a little while...the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from, where it's supposed to be."
This quote made me bawled, because it is true. When death comes, you think, "Ah, they're now completely gone. It's the end.", and that breaks you because death never takes with it the love we feel towards those we lost. That love is still there, but you are not sure what to do with it, where to place it.
And then the grief creeps in. You feel it in the most mundane moments. When I check the rescues one by one, my mind still includes the name of those we recently lost.
The thing is, though, that they are never completely gone. Indeed, they went back to where they came from, where they are now supposed to be, but the days we spent with them and the love we gave are ingrained in my mind and heart.
When you lose someone, especially a pet, people want you to immediately move on. But as someone who has went through so much death and grief, both with people and animals, I am telling you, you do not need to move on. You are the one who feels that pain and never let anyone judge you for it. It was not just someone, it was not just a cat or a dog. You are not obligated to move on.
Move forward instead. Move forward with the memories you shared with those you lost and the love that remains here even though they are not with you anymore. Let those fuel you to be a better person, to help more, and to love more.
And as Michael says, towards the end of The Good Place, as well, "I'll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe: take it sleazy."
(Pictured is Mama Gem and Diamond, her daughter, on the former's last day.)