OnHand Agrarian

22/07/2024

We promised to take car of these babies.. and that's just what we'll do =)

18/07/2024

New supplier! So cute!

09/07/2024

Dear Ms Quah and team,

What happened to you, sucks balls. And while we aren’t experts on sport team tactics, we know that if our fish had to compete in sprint, we wouldn’t be picking the endurance fish and benching our great barracuda with multiple golds and multiple records in sprint events.

Anyway, there’s not much we can do about this, but in recognition of your work and achievements, we’d like to sponsor your groceries for the next few years. In fact, we’ve been quietly sponsoring a few of your fellow olympians (some retired) from various sports for a few years. Some of them have been asked to forward this offer to you. No strings attached and we specifically request that you not tell anyone about accepting this offer unless you really really want to.

This has only been made public because we want to remind the decision makers that the voters are not pleased with their choice.

Regardless of your choice, we hope you’re proud of yourself, your family and all you’ve done despite the obstacles.

- Sincerely, salty swimmers with no technique 😊

PS: Dear Ms Gan, nobody’s upset with you. From the looks of things, you had no say in this. What’s happening to you sucks too. Keep your head down and swim like a baby shark in a grouper tank!

04/07/2024

Volunteer and once a year, we will drown you in bbqed prawns and scallops.

Calling all interested parties... come join us for a meaningful journey...

29/06/2024

Ok… what do we send this guy?

28/06/2024

Idea: Reel Dads

Volunteer anglers take troubled children fishing, teach them patience, tenacity, share wisdom and other “dad” skills.

Gives kids unconventional role models and new perspectives.

Obviously, because we have so many hard bi***es in Singapore, like Dawn, we’ll have to call it “Reel Parents” or something.

Agrarian would provide the “learning pond” of course. And we know plenty of good people who’d make excellent role models for kids who need perspective.

What do you guys think?

24/06/2024

A logistics company was packing crabs the wrong way. With the help of a Thai chef, we taught them the correct way to pack crabs.

Hopefully, this means cheaper crabs for the entire ASEAN region, despite the government’s best efforts to make your lives miserable and expensive.

24/06/2024

22/06/2024

Some mouldy orange is very proud that her colleagues shut down farms in Singapore in 2023.

Did we miss a meeting, Is food becoming TOO cheap, that we have to reduce the supply? 🤨

21/06/2024

Aren’t you all glad we’re not journalists?

18/06/2024

Good guy oil spill; Reducing ocean temperature rise by blocking out the sun from Tuas to East Coast Park, to keep the coral cool 👍🏽

Ocean temperatures have actually fallen in the areas affected by the spill 😆

16/06/2024

Gentlemen, we would wish you a happy Father’s Day. But how can we do that when our skies are grey, our water black, and the hands of those we once called friends, are red?

Our world needs fixing, and you’re the only ones willing to do it the dirty, dangerous, thankless work required to give our children a home worth inheriting.

So today, we wish you wisdom, strength, compassion and determination. Get plenty of rest guys. Tomorrow we show them what dads can do!

16/06/2024

Would anyone like a disaster tour of the beaches and reefs destroyed by the oil spill?

Once in a lifetime opportunity! See death from your toes to the horizon! $444 per head. Free bottle of oil.

15/06/2024

One of Singapore’s largest oil spills occurred 2 days ago and the slick made landfall earlier today.

Not affected 👍🏽

15/06/2024

Happy Father’s Day Weekend! If you guys missed it, we’re doing a giveaway on our latest video we posted! In collaboration with OnHand Agrarian, we’re giving away 2x “How-To Farm Crabs at Home” inclusive of all equipments (worth up to $680). All you got to do is, comment on our latest video and share a memorable story of you & your Dad growing up. For more information - watch our latest video! 🦀

11/06/2024

11/06/2024

Our client in the Philippines doing well by applying the IMTRAS method, without government meddling in the economy :)

07/06/2024

Remember kids. The only reason we have The Lord of the Rings, is because someone didn’t finish their exam paper.

Don’t feel too bad about failing, you might just enable something beautiful :)

05/06/2024

A friend of ours passed yesterday. For privacy’s sake we aren't saying who. But he was a beautiful soul who volunteered to rescue monster fish, and move chickens for no reward other than a few beers, free range eggs, and jackfruit the size of a large dog.

He loved snowboarding, planes, tattoos, 90s rock, the Lord of the Rings and his wife & cats. He probably loved his idiot farmer friends too, from the way he always made time when we needed assistance.

He had the iron composure and quiet strength of a war horse.. In fact, when I was cut by an unnaturally shiny, toilet bowl, underwater. All he did was raise an eyebrow for a fraction of a second before quickly helping his wife stop the bleeding and dress the wound. This man was basically, the spiritual son of Dave Grohl and Buddha for all his kindness, calm and patience.

It's not right that he's gone so soon. And the world is a little less beautiful without him in it. I wish I had the chance to see him again. I wanted to tell him the fish he helped rescue have almost outgrown his car, that they're spawning and healthy. And that we adopted kittens. And that my little daughter he met years ago, is taller than the average woman now.

But I suppose that's the lesson to take away from this; Live a full life, Be kind to others and make time for what's most important.

Goodbye my friend. I'll send the fish an extra crate of bananas and grapes from you.

- Your coconut delivery guy, Shannon.

PS: Guys, stop asking if it was Ivan. Ivan is fine and looks nothing like Dave Grohl

03/06/2024

This is how libertarians farm 👍🏽. Also, this is actually a just a carpentry display. But it’s a
Fun story :)

Genius

29/05/2024

TLDR; Text 9862 7310 save money.

Do you know that the last people to know about Father’s Day, are guys with children?

So here’s what we’re going to do;

1. You’re going to save your father or husband a lot of money.

2. We’re going to teach you to cook a lot of awesome food.

3. Every 2nd and 4th Saturday for the next 14 months, we’re going to deliver the groceries for you. That way your dad can sleep in for once.

How are we going to do that? 12 + 2 deals of course!

If you get a 12 month subscription, we give you 2 extra months free. So you save:

- $210 on the 5kg/month subscription for 1-2 people.

- $280 on the 8kg sub for 2-3 people.

- $360 on the 10kg sub for 3-5 people.

- $600 on the 20kg option for 4-8 people.

You also get to attend free cooking classes! Where we teach you to cook the things you see in the pictures!

FAQ;

Q: What’s in the box?

A: It’s a mix of locally and some regionally grown things. The seafood part is Grouper, snapper, Seabass, pompano, bream, rabbit fish, Grey prawns, tiger prawns, flower crab, mud crab, spiny lobster, scallops, cockles, mussels, squid, cuttlefish and octopus. Maybe the occasional snail.

The veggies are kailan, kale, kangkong, lettuce, sweet potato leaves, paku pakis, long beans, edamame, tomatoes, cucumber, eggplant, zucchini, papaya, jackfruit, longans, winter melons, malaccan longans, seeded bananas, corn, rice, taro, sweet potato and lotus.

Q: Can I customize?

A: Yes, most people just tell us to replace the cockles with fish. Or prawns with fish. Or the crabs with fish. Basically it sucks to be a fish. But don’t ask us to replace your kangkong with lobster hor… 🙂

Q: Does it come clean?

A: No… the fish have impure thoughts, about the crabs, all the time. But we remove the scales for you. And we gut them. A lot of people ask for the fatty live and fish maw separately and we do that too! And since we’re a no-pesticide operation; That means sometimes you get a caterpillar or snail or spider.

Q: Can I postpone if I’m overseas?

A: Yes. Just tell us 48 hours in advance. We have far too many people tell us, on Saturday morning, while we’re at their front door holding the fish; “Sorry, I forgot, I got on a plane and flew across the planet yesterday. Now everyone speaks a different language.” 🙄

Q: Can I order a 20kg box to trick my children and grandchildren into visiting me every 2 weeks to collect food?

A: Can! We can even pretend you won it in a contest 😉

27/05/2024

Americans would kill for the level of freedom a Singaporean fish farmer has