12/16/2024
Hello!!!
I would like to first say that I’m so very sorry that I have worried some of you. My post a couple weeks ago was just to explain the post I made prior to it about me shutting down the low cost spay and neuter clinics. I was receiving so many calls and messages with proooe being confused. Well instead of me making a point to my previous post, I went into some weird rant. I’ll be honest, it’s not my proudest moment and in fact, I’m a little embarrassed. I do not want people to worry about me. I promise I will be ok. Have I been struggling these last two years? Absolutely! Was I aware of my mental health dwindling over the last couple of years? Hell no! Well it all came to a stop a few weeks ago with what I would call a mental breakdown. I won’t go into details but it was bad. The feeling of hopelessness had consumed me. The pressure of everyone’s demands and if I didn’t meet them then the panic attacks of when I woke up of would there be social media blasting, just about broke me. The feeling of me not wanting to help one more person had me so confused…but I’ve been working really hard on myself the past few weeks. I’ve changed my diet to “clean eating”. No processed foods, no gmos, and cutting back on sugars and carbs. This has made me start thinking more clearly. My poor diet consisted of a bag of chips for breakfast, lunch and dinner and wash it down with a Pepsi because I didn’t have time to eat. People are pi**ed, but now I make time. I had to start going to a chiropractor and a masseuse because my back is so screwed up that it was affecting my attitude. When you are constantly in pain it’s hard to put a smile on your face. I’m now not moaning in agony pain when getting out of bed every day. I finally got a general doctor which I have never had one because either I didn’t have health insurance or I just really haven’t had any health issues in the past and again, lack of time is always an excuse of mine. Unfortunately I’m going through perimenopause, debilitating anxiety and some depression. He put me on two different meds which some of that brain fog is slowly going away each day. I can start making sense of each day now.
The amount of people who have reached out to me that was feeling the exact same way as I was feeling was so eye opening that I’m not alone. The amount of people who I seen out in public that would run up to me and just hug me, strangers, hugging me, some whispering in my ear and some screaming at the top of their lungs, saying that they see me. That they hear me. I cried every time.
I’m not quitting guys. I’m not quitting anything. My spay and neuter clinics may have come to a halt, but only for a little while until I can get myself back to loving helping again. I was feeling a little resentful as hundreds of people reach out for me to take their animals or to pay for their animals vetting. That’s not me. I love helping people. My doctor says that being resentful is a sign of anxiety and depression. I need that to go away. Lol. I’m a very impatient person so this is going to teach me some patience as well hopefully. Lol. I still have my veterinarian surgical room. That’s not going anywhere. I still have the grooming salon. That’s not going anywhere. I still have the rescue. That’s not going anywhere. And I’m not shutting down any of the programs such as the prison dog program, the Alma college program, the community cabinet, or the MMI. I’m not quitting!
I do have a few more things up my sleeve to see if I can improve this community and the surrounding communities. I can’t run this rescue without working towards fixing the source as to why we have so many animals dying in our shelters and by the hands of humans. Rescuing animals is NOT what I’m trying to do. Helping people to keep their animals, educating them on NOT getting them from parking lots, market place or the Amish…and of course I’m still baffled that it’s not a law that you have to have your dog or cat spayed or neutered because that would fix most of these horrible problems.
And one more thing. There are protocols with the rescue. I know you guys don’t walk in my shoes so it’s hard to understand sometimes but I have 5 employees that I personally trained. They know exactly what to say and how to say it. They know how to answer questions exactly how I would answer them. People get upset when they can’t talk to me. Unfortunately if I went out and talked to every person that wanted to talk to me then I couldn’t work. I have to run a dog and cat grooming salon inside of the rescue in order to pay the bills for both the grooming salon, the rescue with hundreds of animals and five employees. My favorite thing would be to talk to everyone about animals but unfortunately I am the only one who pays the bills around here so I have to be stuck in the grooming salon most days. Another sad thing that I love to do but can’t anymore is to thank people on Facebook. It literally brings so much joy to me to be able to thank people on social media so that these kind and generous people can be recognized in this world that we have so much hate in but I can’t anymore. I had someone pay for our breakfast the other day, had someone chase me down outside of a store in a parking lot to donate $100 last week, had someone raise money for the rescue a couple of weeks ago…there are so many amazing people out there that I can’t thank because, well I’m going to try to explain it without confusing you all…my intentions is to always thank every single person on Facebook for every kind act. I used to be so good at it. Well the more programs I started, the more dogs I needed to groom to pay the bills, the more rescued animals I got and the huge following I have gotten over the years, causes my days to go minute by minute. I multi task more in a day than most do in a week. To please everyone is impossible, I know this no matter how hard I try, but most days I’m running like I’m on fire. Most days I’m running 2-3 hours behind schedule. So yes, even though im so grateful and appreciative for every single donation, I now can’t keep up on social media. I am so far behind on my Facebook posts right now that I’m not sure how I’m going to catch up. I used to post thank yous when I had a minute to p*e (yes most of my post are while I’m p*eing. Multitasking at its finest. Lol) but I got a few people leaving messages that I forgot to post their thank yous on social media and they weren’t too happy about it. I promise I’m not doing these things on purpose. I literally can’t keep up and is also the reason why I had to quit with the messenger as well. I AM SO SO SORRY that I can’t personally thank you on social media anymore. Sometimes I’m so busy grooming a dog, waiting on a customer, adopting out a dog, making a Facebook post, answering five employees, have to run to the prison, taking in 11 puppies, getting their paperwork and vets set up and whatever else comes flying at me that day, and that would be in a 20 minute period, so as your amazing donation or kind act was on my mind at the time and I was trying to make a post, I got distracted and my phone died and I was off to another problem that came arise during that day and the post just got buried and then I forgot because there was another emergency. I am so sorry to all of the people I just didn’t have time to post about. You matter. I am so terribly sorry if I offended you or made you upset.
I was suppose to be at an event in midland at Sassy and Chic boutique this weekend and it completely slipped my mind. As soon as the lady messaged me I was sick to my stomach. I can’t believe I forgot. I am so so so sorry. I’m so sick to my stomach over it!
My life consists of apologizing more in a day than most people do in a month. I get it. Most people don’t want to deal with my crazy but for those of you that understand me, that support me even when I make mistakes and that truly believe in me and see me as a human that does make mistakes and don’t make me feel sh*tty about them, you all are what I’m focusing on moving forward. You all are what keeps me doing bigger and better things.
I may not be ok, right now, but I will be. I’m running two operations with six people (including me). Most operations this large have anywhere between 10-25 people on board. Yes, I’m short staffed. There’s nothing I can do about it. Money, time and space are things I fight with every day to get more of. I work hard every day for more…I will be ok because all of you won’t have it any other way.
So just stand by, because I’m predicting that 2025 is going to bring great things to Dalis to the rescue. I am very aware of my declining health but it doesn’t stop there. I have many medical intervenes that is going to get me back to better than ever and then TOGETHER we are going to make some huge changes for people and animals ❤️
