Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters

11/20/2024

DON'T DESPAIR!!

Because so many people don't know when midnight occurs in the course of a day and make that my fault, we're having another SALE!

30% OFF EVERYTHING NO MATTER WHAT TIME OF DAY.
MIDNIGHT NOVEMBER 20th - MIDNIGHT NOVEMBER 25th

USE COUPON CODE: SALTY

For more information go here: https://www.twosaltydogs.net/world-famous-sale-2024.html

Or just call me up in the middle of the night on my private phone and read me something from the Devil's Codex. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codex_Gigas

And don't forget to hound your family and friends for their email addresses to enter in our Gift Certificate Giveaway. https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/early-bird-2024-gift-certificate-giveaway/

And don't complain to me about the last picture, either.

11/11/2024

Behold Our "New Stuff" Page! - https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/behold-our-new-stuff-page

11/09/2024

DO WHAT GRAMPS SAYS AND:

A) Talk to your physician about modifying any of your psychotropic prescriptions that may be affected by extreme excitement associated with online sales.

B) Sign up for our Gigundanormous Gift Certificate Giveaway, the sight of which humanity has never seen. No purchase necessary:
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/early-bird-2024-gift-certificate-giveaway/

C) Start perusing our New Stuff Page and putting desirable items in your shopping cart (virtually, please don't use a real shopping cart): https://www.twosaltydogs.net/new-stuff.html

D) Consult our handy Discount vs. Time Chart in this Facebook missive. Covet the 40% Off slot of midnight - 4am

------ Take a deep breath. Relax. --------

E) Ignore warnings from your medications and physician. Stay up drinking heavily on Friday the 15th, liberally putting items into your cart and waiting for midnight, Saturday, November 16th.

F) Make sure to complete the purchasing process on our website before your head explodes, you pass out, your brain turns to goo, or your responsible partner pulls the literal plug.

G) If any of those things happen, call me up and give me some sob story. I'll see what I can do.

H) Check our page on November 29 to see if you won a gift certificate.

I) Now go fetch Grampa another Dewars and soda and his pack of Pall Malls.

J) And don't forget to get me a birch switch to tan your ass when you screw this up, child.



Grampa

11/08/2024

poor guy.....

11/03/2024

Our World-Famous Annual WEB Sale - November 16th - https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/behold-our-once-in-a-lifetime-world-famous-annual-sale-8870616

10/31/2024

It's Auggie's turn at the blog this November. Join him for "THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE GRUMPY" where he details his hatred of Jakoff Smirnoff and everyone else.

https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/the-good-the-bad-and-the-grumpy-by-auggie/

10/28/2024

I think Aug is liking the snow up here in Cape Breton Island. Can you believe he's 13?

10/22/2024

WE WILL BE CLOSED OCTOBER 28th THROUGH NOVEMBER 1st.
REOPENING NOVEMBER 2nd AT 10am. Regular schedule after that.

NOW GO FETCH GRANDPA ANOTHER DEWARS AND SODA.

10/22/2024

Click below to see Fudgie'as new toy

Haha!!! The ad at the end for a log is phony. Don't send me money.------------------------------------------------------------View our website and shop onlin...

10/21/2024

That's right! It's Fudgies birthday cake from Farm 23 Boothbay Harbor !

The little guy has been camped out in front of the fridge for hours, now!

10/16/2024

Aug's tumor was removed successfully and he got a teeth cleaning!!!!

10/09/2024

Lil' Aug's had seizures over the last couple days. Can we get a couple well-wishes for the 13yr old boy? He's going to "The Evil Vets" tomorrow.

Read more about the Evil Vets here:
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/author/auggie/

10/05/2024

Drop by today and say hi to The Trifecta. Here until 5.

10/02/2024

When you are old, but not old enough to remember your "Old Guy" glasses everywhere, Newagen Seaside Inn is happy to let you borrow one of the 1,000s they've collected over the season.

10/01/2024

That's right! It's October! The month with Halloween in it!

It's also another Month with the Salty Paws in it! Here's what you're missing by not clicking on that button:

1) The True Meaning of Halloween - The best costumes Yours Truly has ever worn and my pick for this year.

2) The Salty News - I condense all "The News" for you into several dozen easily understood headlines.

3) We Love Hate Mail! - "Two Salty Wieners Pet Outfitters" - Spectrum Psy-Ops are after me again.

4) The Coal Shack - Everything in our online shop is 34% off. And if you have OCD, you can hunt for the additional 10% off, hidden somewhere in our newsletter.

5) Details on the Boothbay Harbor Halloween Parade. 😀

6) The News from Marz - Marz gets his 36th brain cell on the 20th. You're invited to his birthday party so long as you don't try to steal any of his cake. This is directly from Marz.

7) The Harbor Dogs' Stories - "Teeny Weeny" - by Don: Hear me lament my fiscal and psychological predicament of hiring, training, and and retaining teen workers in my seasonal shop at a "living wage."

That's it. Start Clicking.

https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-october-2024-8870383

09/23/2024

The love is real....

Ancient Roman tomb for a dog. Translation: "How sweet and friendly she was! While she was alive she used to lie in the lap, always sharing sleep and bed. What a shame, Midge, that you have died! You would only bark if some rival took the liberty of lying up against your mistress. What a shame, Midge, that you have died! The depths of the grave now hold you and you know nothing about it. You cannot go wild nor jump on me, and you do not bare your teeth at me with bites that do not hurt."

09/21/2024

Fudgie and I are having a Fetch-Vacation in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia.

THE SHOP WILL BE CLOSED MONDAY AND TUESDAY NOW. NOT JUST MONDAY.

Marz and I travel to Cape Breton Nova Scotia to find better, more challenging places to fetch. ...

09/20/2024

Zinnie-Zin-Zin-Zin is modelling our new lobster Halloween costumes for dogs! Get yours today before they're not cool anymore!