Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters

12/01/2024

The Salty Paws -- December 2024 - https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-december-2024-8870674

Ah to hell with it.... Don't buy anything from us. We're horrible.

11/30/2024

HEY!~!!! What in the name of little fuzzy beer bubbles is going on here?!?!

https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-december-2024-8870674

Helen the Felon shouldn't have been released until December 7th!!! Now I'm going to catch it.

ANYWAY-- Why don't some of you knuckleheads out there stop using that file in the toenail clippers to clean your teeth and read our Irreverent December email?

11/29/2024

PUT THAT FISH DOWN AND ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS OF OUR EARLY BIRD GIFT CERTIFICATE GIVEAWAY, LOGAN!!!!!!

$25 Gift Certificate Winner: Tim Pinkham
$25 Gift Certificate Winner: Tammy Illegible
$50 Gift Certificate Winner: Grace Veasey
$100 Gift Certificate Winner: Neil Indecipherable

Everyone has been notified via email. Give us a call at the store letting us know when you'd like to pick it up, or if you'd rather have an e-copy.

Thanks!

11/23/2024

My latest work of fine art: "Three Labs and a Half Sandwich."

Prints available on Monday for $250,000.

11/23/2024

Join us and Fudgie for Early Bird!

20% off from 7-8am
10% the rest of the day.

Tell 'em Fudgie Fudgie Cocoa Butt sent you.

11/20/2024

DON'T DESPAIR!!

Because so many people don't know when midnight occurs in the course of a day and make that my fault, we're having another SALE!

30% OFF EVERYTHING NO MATTER WHAT TIME OF DAY.
MIDNIGHT NOVEMBER 20th - MIDNIGHT NOVEMBER 25th

USE COUPON CODE: SALTY

For more information go here: https://www.twosaltydogs.net/world-famous-sale-2024.html

Or just call me up in the middle of the night on my private phone and read me something from the Devil's Codex. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codex_Gigas

And don't forget to hound your family and friends for their email addresses to enter in our Gift Certificate Giveaway. https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/early-bird-2024-gift-certificate-giveaway/

And don't complain to me about the last picture, either.

11/11/2024

Behold Our "New Stuff" Page! - https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/behold-our-new-stuff-page

11/09/2024

DO WHAT GRAMPS SAYS AND:

A) Talk to your physician about modifying any of your psychotropic prescriptions that may be affected by extreme excitement associated with online sales.

B) Sign up for our Gigundanormous Gift Certificate Giveaway, the sight of which humanity has never seen. No purchase necessary:
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/early-bird-2024-gift-certificate-giveaway/

C) Start perusing our New Stuff Page and putting desirable items in your shopping cart (virtually, please don't use a real shopping cart): https://www.twosaltydogs.net/new-stuff.html

D) Consult our handy Discount vs. Time Chart in this Facebook missive. Covet the 40% Off slot of midnight - 4am

------ Take a deep breath. Relax. --------

E) Ignore warnings from your medications and physician. Stay up drinking heavily on Friday the 15th, liberally putting items into your cart and waiting for midnight, Saturday, November 16th.

F) Make sure to complete the purchasing process on our website before your head explodes, you pass out, your brain turns to goo, or your responsible partner pulls the literal plug.

G) If any of those things happen, call me up and give me some sob story. I'll see what I can do.

H) Check our page on November 29 to see if you won a gift certificate.

I) Now go fetch Grampa another Dewars and soda and his pack of Pall Malls.

J) And don't forget to get me a birch switch to tan your ass when you screw this up, child.



Grampa

11/08/2024

poor guy.....

11/03/2024

Our World-Famous Annual WEB Sale - November 16th - https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/behold-our-once-in-a-lifetime-world-famous-annual-sale-8870616

10/31/2024

It's Auggie's turn at the blog this November. Join him for "THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE GRUMPY" where he details his hatred of Jakoff Smirnoff and everyone else.

https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/the-good-the-bad-and-the-grumpy-by-auggie/

10/28/2024

I think Aug is liking the snow up here in Cape Breton Island. Can you believe he's 13?

10/22/2024

Click below to see Fudgie'as new toy

Haha!!! The ad at the end for a log is phony. Don't send me money.------------------------------------------------------------View our website and shop onlin...

10/21/2024

That's right! It's Fudgies birthday cake from Farm 23 Boothbay Harbor !

The little guy has been camped out in front of the fridge for hours, now!

10/16/2024

Aug's tumor was removed successfully and he got a teeth cleaning!!!!

10/09/2024

Lil' Aug's had seizures over the last couple days. Can we get a couple well-wishes for the 13yr old boy? He's going to "The Evil Vets" tomorrow.

Read more about the Evil Vets here:
https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/author/auggie/

10/05/2024

Drop by today and say hi to The Trifecta. Here until 5.

10/02/2024

When you are old, but not old enough to remember your "Old Guy" glasses everywhere, Newagen Seaside Inn is happy to let you borrow one of the 1,000s they've collected over the season.