02/28/2023
In a time of such acrimonious divide among trainers, we can easily forget that all of us are humans, wounded in some way, and doing what we can at the moment with what we have available to us.
Whether it's belonging to a specific group or defending our practices, or inexplicably using our preferred jargon & thinking model(s) as a war cry against Them in the name of doing right by the dogs (and horses and others), somehow, we are being blinded to the human beings all around us.
Anger so often springs from fear, and it is palpable, the fast and furious current of fear and defensiveness rampant in the training world at the moment.
If anything I did or said resulted in such fearful defensiveness or outright attack from an animal, I'd have to spend a lot of time looking in the mirror wondering where I'd lost sight of the animal before me. Had I deliberately triggered this response by my own actions? or, if I had acted with integrity and brought my best skills to the moment and still was met with snarling snapping rage and defensiveness, then wisdom would guide me to step back and stand down. I would need to recognize that what happened to that animal long ago might be why they react now as they do. And I would have to ask why I continued to provoke an angry or scared animal -- that is not a respectful interaction.
It is heartbreaking to see how much vitriol is ready to hand, sent flying from keyboards. It is much harder to remember that a real human is behind the words meant to inflame, hurt, fuel the flames. A person with a history and a perspective that may not align with your own, and yet -- like every single human I have ever met -- tender places and fears and struggles that very often are unseen by most.
It is perhaps the hardest work of being human: to make space in our hearts for our fellow humans, and respecting their freedom to walk their own path just as you walk yours.
