10/10/2025
Boundaries and Peace
When I get a really pushy horse, the first thing I do is turn them out into my herd. I don’t work with them while I let them settle in. They might come in anxious, fractious, shoving people, chewing lead ropes, knocking people around.
Within a pretty short time, they settle into the structure of the herd. You can see their posture change from tense to visibly relieved. It’s as if they were literally begging for structure and some clear guidance.
The next thing I do is teach them my body is consistent in its positioning. I can’t be moved, but I don’t react, over correct, get after, or any other unpredictable movements. I’m calm, centered, and they can trust that things will stay that way.
Pushy horses are not happy. They are extremely frustrated. They spend their days trying to manage conflicting messages: “it’s ok for me to move my person over when she isn’t mentally available or noticing my needs, but other times I get smacked or je**ed on. It’s ok to come up close for a treat, but other times it’s not ok to be in her space. I get in trouble when I step on her feet, but she doesn’t seem to notice or mind when she’s leading me that I bump into her. She comes out to pet me, gets me agitated, anxious and pushy, and then leaves me when she’s had enough of my behavior- just when I need guidance the most, she is gone.”
Pushy horses are a sign of inconsistent boundaries or people unable or unwilling to be mindful of their own behavior, own body positioning, and disciplined enough to create and set good habits THEMSELVES a first. A horse is begging for guidance in their lives - what they don’t love is micro managing or over correcting. You can eliminate probably half of all problems with pushy behavior by just becoming aware of where you stand with your horse, how you touch them, what your position and behavior brings out in them, and being aware 100% of the time with them.
It’s easier to teach people how to correct, snap, jerk, or other dominance based approaches to pushy behavior. They might get quick results. It’s much harder to teach people self awareness and self discipline - but if they are the ones who created the problem in the first place, they are the root cause of the problem, and the only real solution lies in controlling their own behavior.
Photo by Jasmine Cope