10/14/2024
I want to start by saying that I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, every single person that has ever helped me with the rescue in any way, I couldn't have done it without you and I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. I've been dreading putting anything in writing, because this rescue was my heart and soul, hundreds, HUNDREDS, of cats and kittens were saved and fixed that otherwise wouldn't have stood a chance, but I couldn't manage life and unfortunately things had to come to a halt. I was struggling, hard, to manage life as a single parent and try to keep the rescue up, all while silently suffering from major depression. I felt I had no one to turn to and was in a dark place for a long while, my son and the kittens kept me going for as long as they could but I eventually had to take a step back. Volunteers faded and at the end of the day the rescue was mine to be responsible for, it's tough work and not for the faint of heart. I love rescue, I loved this rescue and every life that I saved, I'm good at it, I put in so much of myself, my life, my money, my heart, gave up sleep to do whatever I possibly could to save those little lives and so many times I did and I knew that without me they would not have made it and that's what kept me going. So many nights I cried my eyes out over what I had witnessed, the helpless hurting. I could not manage it all and that was hard for me to admit. I was in such a difficult place I had to slow down and try to pull myself out of the depths of darkness. It wasn't easy. Therapy and medication and endless days where I had to choose to force myself to keep going even though I so badly wanted to give up. I could have given up. No one truly cared about me enough to help me, I had to help myself. Even if no one else cared, my son needed me. I'm proud of myself for not giving up and I can finally say I survived and I'm happy. Now my son is getting older, he's in school and sports and I have to focus on him and not letting myself go back to that darkness. I will continue to foster when I am able to on my own, but I am not able to commit to running a full operation again at this time, maybe years from now when my child is grown, but for now I need to focus on my family while saving one little life at a time. It guts me to think about the lives I could be saving if I threw myself completely back in, but I know for my own sake and my family's that I have to do this, or there would be no me to help at all.
If you've read all this you deserve a medal. I've included in this post a list of other area rescues to reach out to for help and resources for low cost spay and neuter. I'm still here for questions but it is unlikely I will be able to take in many cats.
💗 Ashley
