10/31/2024
I “borrowed” this post from a breeder friend of mine (who had borrowed it from another breeder). It is making the rounds, as it should; it is well written, and expresses a heartfelt sentiment that most all of us breeders feel to some degree or another. I want to thank the author, for putting these words together. 🥰 While it expresses very eloquently what is also in my heart, I did do a little creative editing.
This essay so poignantly captures the relationship that we, as breeders, have with our beloved kittens, with our treasured breeding cats, and asks that you, our clients, please understand that THIS is what we hope from you, when you bring one of our furry little kids into your family, and into your life.
💕A Client’s Responsibility to Their Kitten’s Breeder💕
We talk a lot about what a good breeder is expected to do for you, the client. We require them to health test their breeding cats, guarantee the health and temperament of each kitten, be there for you 24/7 for up to 18 years — longer than most any other relationship you are likely to have in your life. BUT, we haven’t really talked about what your responsibilities to your breeder should be.
I have done a lot of thinking about this. I have, in the past, tried to express my expectations to my own clients, usually in conversations during the adoption process, but maybe it is time to clearly put all of this in writing.
Breeders tend to be very private people. They don’t usually tell clients about being on “kitten watch” 24/7 for the day or days leading up delivery, not knowing for sure EXACTLY what day Mama cat will deliver, because they are on their OWN schedule. Some moms are very independent, and some are very clingy; they want you to stay right by their side, and get VERY agitated when you try to leave, even just to go to the bathroom. (With one of my retired queens, I actually set up her birthing pen in my bathroom, for this very reason). Some moms can handle it all on their own, opening sacs, cutting umbilical chords, etc. Some will sit back and expect you to do it all; unfortunately, a kitten can suffocate if the sac isn’t opened in time. 🙀😢
Breeders don’t usually tell clients about three weeks they spend , after delivery, getting almost no sleep, except for quick naps, next to the kitten pen because Mama Cat needs some help. Maybe her milk hasn’t come in. Maybe her mothering instincts are a little slow to arrive. Maybe she wants you to show her how to be a mom. Maybe she died. 😔😭 Regardless, those first 3-4 weeks with kittens are often more intense than the first three weeks with a human infant.
Feeding 6, 8, 10, or maybe 12 kittens every two to three hours, AROUND THE CLOCK, is EXHAUSTING!! We don’t usually have our mother-in-laws, husbands, children, or best friends there to help us. Struggling kittens count on us to be their ICU nurses. It is no surprise that our maternal (or paternal) instincts are VERY intense, and we bond with these little guys for life!
Not everything goes well with every kitten in every litter. Losing a kitten is deeply traumatic. We fight SO HARD to save each and every one of them, and often can’t. Death is not pretty. Death can be graphic. It is not peaceful. It leaves a scar on our soul.
Then, after we get through those first three weeks, we spend nearly every waking moment watching, thinking, analyzing, cuddling, loving and, inevitably, bonding with our kittens. Could you hold a baby in your lap and not feel anything? Neither can we! By the time your kitten leaves our house, that kitten is as much a part of our heart and soul, as it is yours.
But, life happens; things go wrong. We get that. Best intentions fade through no fault of our own. Maybe a job was lost. Maybe the terms of your rental agreement changed. Maybe someone in your family became sick and needs all of your attention. Maybe one of a million things happened.
Breeders get that. We are people, too. We have lived as much life as you have. We know the world is not a perfect place. We also know that sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions, we mismatched your kitten to you.
Whatever the reason, we know that not every kitten is going to live its full life with the people we placed it with. Divorce, death, etc., anything can happen.
But, we love our babies fiercely (and because you are an extension of them, we love you, too)! We want to be there to help, in whatever way you need us. If you can no longer keep your kitten/cat, please be open and let us know. Most breeders have a clause in their contracts, stating that they will take a kitten/cat back, no questions asked, at any point in time. If your cat has a close relationship with someone else, let us know; maybe going to live with them might be a less stressful transition for your baby. That contract you signed with us? The one that guarantees health and our lifetime assistance? That applies to the kitten/cat, no matter who owns him/her.
But more importantly, please be kind to our hearts. If you lost a grandchild — say your son and his wife got divorced, and the wife cuts off all communication with you — that would hurt. You would feel sad, lost, and more than a little panicky.
That’s how we feel when we lose track of a kitten!!
So, please, stay in contact with your breeder. Let us share in your cat’s joys and frustrations. Send us a photo or two, every once in a while. We LOVE getting pictures of our babies!!💕💗 Let us be a shoulder for you. Let us provide a listening ear, and support you any way we can. And PLEASE , PLEASE , PLEASE let us know where your cat is, and if you can’t keep it, PLEASE let us be involved in any placements or rehoming that may need to occur. Thank you!! ♥️🐾♥️
Photos of my latest little nuggets, just to share the cutness; ALL are already reserved.🥰❤️😽
