08/28/2024
Okay, so my neighbors have been complaining about my dog Layla May’s barking. I hate the electric zap collars, so I went on Amazon and purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently, they don't like it. So yesterday morning I was getting the collar ready and filled it with the citronella liquid…And that's where my morning should have ended.
But no, it's me, and I become curious as to “how” the collars actually work, so I'm standing by my door "barking" at my dog's collar. (Don't judge me lol)
Nothing happens. 🤷🏻♀️
I make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time. 📃 Again, I bark.
Nothing happens. 🤔
Now, I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did...I put the collar on. I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked. 🥴
Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, (who knew 🤷🏻♀️) because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face! I began coughing, 😮💨 which only caused the collar to continue squirting citronella spray over and over into my nasal cavity. 🤧
I'm now on my hands and knees in my damn yard, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the 🐕dog is barking!
So, between coughing and yelling at her to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face. 😶🌫️During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut during this whole fiasco! 😬
I finally get the collar off and threw, yes, I THREW that inhumane thing across the yard, and laid in the grass sucking in the hot humid air. 😳
In the middle of thinking this is probably the dumbest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter. MY NEIGHBOR SAW THE WHOLE THING! He was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.🤬 Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to walk over, you'd set it off again and then I would start laughing and I couldn't make it." (Gee thanks jerkface)🤨
So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too.😡 After checking to make sure I was ok, we parted ways and I went inside to shower so I wouldn't smell like ode de' Tiki Torch.
Lesson learned... next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) I’ll make sure that:
1. Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off.
2. Remember my neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation. On the plus side, I won't have a mosquito problem for a few days!(eternal optimist here)
3. I hate to break the news that it's a copied and paste story that gave me a good laugh, so feel free to do the same. 😁
Have an amazing day!! 🤣
