07/25/2026
🚨 IF I EVER GET PULLED OVER, I’M PROBABLY GOING TO JAIL 🚨
Not because I’ve done anything illegal…
But because the inside of a horse person’s truck looks like a rolling crime scene. 😂
Officer, I can explain.
That wasn’t ma*****na.
It was alfalfa.
That syringe had Banamine in it.
Those needles were not for me.
The baggie of white powder is electrolytes.
The unlabeled pills are SMZs.
The blood on those towels is also from a horse.
The giant bottle of lubricant is veterinary.
The shoulder-length gloves are completely normal.
The ropes, chains, zip ties, headlamp, tarp, shovel, and knife are all ranch-related.
And before you ask…
Yes, there may be a f***l sample in that Tupperware.
No, you do not want to open it.
At this point, forensics is getting called, my truck is being impounded, and I’m sitting in the back of a patrol car trying to convince everyone that the suspicious bottle with “PAIN MEDS” written on it is just Banamine whose original label wore off.
Eventually, they’ll release me.
Horse people don’t carry paraphernalia.
We carry an entire mobile veterinary clinic held together with baling twine, hay wire, and poor decisions. 😂
What’s the most suspicious-looking thing currently riding around in your truck that has a perfectly reasonable horse-person explanation? 😂
