08/24/2025
Oi, listen up, you lot! While some fancy-pants cats are all "oh, look at me lounging on yer sofa, gimme pets, gimme them feathery toys," that ain't us, nah. We're proper community cats, see? Born in the wild, whiskers to the wind, paws in the grass, noses full of adventure, and the odd bit of rubbish when it smells good. We're two of the cheekiest cats you'll ever meet. Names? Ha! That's a secret, love. But stories? Oh, we've got stories for days.
So, picture it: we're doing our thing outside, makin' friends, playin' king and queen of our alley, when some do-gooder human spots us. Now, she's worried 'cause our ears ain't tipped yet, which apparently makes us "not proper community cats." Long story short, she scoops us up and drives us to the shelter. Shelter life? It's a right circus. Too many humans poking and prodding, getting in our business (improper if you ask me). But, we must admit, she did us a solid; we got all our jabs, our snips, the whole shebang to keep us and our colony healthy. Can't argue with that.
Then comes the big question: "Do you wanna go home with a human?" Go on, tell us you wouldn't laugh at that! We hissed and made our angriest faces, basically, told 'em in no uncertain terms: "Nope, not today, not ever!" Indoors? Not on your life. Fake mice? Don't even talk to us about that filthy trick. Humans, indoors, and fake mice? Triple threat of doom, mate.
Luckily, the clever folks at the shelter cooked up a plan: Shelter-Neuter-Return, SNR. Fancy, right? It's like that TNR thing (Trap, Neuter, Return) you've probably heard of. But this one starts a bit different. We weren't nabbed in some sneaky coordinated trap, no, sir. We were brought in, checked over, and then released back to where we belong, safe and sound.
And luck of the litter, there's a colony manager just down the way from where we got picked up. She's top-notch, feeds us proper, gives us water, and gives us shelter when it's nasty out, but she's not pushy with the cuddles. We stroll our streets, meet the other community cats, keep our freedom, and pop by to say "hey" to her almost every day (don't think we're soft, mind; it's all on our terms).
Some humans might think, "awww, isn't it sad they ain't got a proper home?" Pfft. Nah, mate. Some cats are meant to roam, and roam we do. Thanks to clever SNR and TNR magic, we get to live our lives wild and free and healthy, cared for, and keep the population in check. Big win for us, big win for the whole neighborhood.
So next time you see us strutting down the alley like we own the joint, remember: we're the kings and queens of our little kingdom, and we wouldn't have it any other way.