01/13/2022
Good information
We assume every other skill set will take time and effort to acquire and become proficient.
We assume driving will take time and effort, cooking will take time and effort, skiing will take time and effort, becoming a good parent or partner will take time and effort, succeeding at our careers will take time and effort...
But we have a strange assumption that living with our dogs should be easy, natural, quick. That becoming proficient with training tools, methods, reading/understanding our dogs, and being able to replicate the results our trainers are capable of should be the same. Easy, natural, quick. (And we haven’t even touched on all of the baggage you personally bring to the table.)
Your trainer (or those you study) was (are) able to achieve what they did via years of study and focus and application. Years. Don’t let their seemingly easy, natural, quick results fool you. There was nothing easy, natural, or quick in their obtainment. Just ongoing hard work, struggle, and focus on becoming better.
If you’re struggling with your dog, and you seem unable to replicate the results of your trainer, here’s a few questions to ask:
-Have I mastered my emotions?
-Have I mastered my habits?
-Am I self-aware of all my little choices and allowances?
-Is my dog “my dog”, or is my dog something it shouldn’t be?
-Have I come to grips with the realities of consequences and that sometimes I need to make my dog uncomfortable to change unwanted behavior?
-Am I prepared for my dog to “dislike” me (your interpretation) if I discipline it?
-Have I mastered the ability to be soft when appropriate and helpful, and firm when appropriate and helpful...and switch on a dime?
-Have I established my non-negotiable rules for the house, the walk, life?
-Am I a believable leader/authority figure?
-Have I mastered my verbal tone and body language when I interact with my dog?
-Have I mastered the mechanics of the tools I’ve chosen to use?
-Am I using the tools my trainer recommended consistently?
-Am I implementing the daily training/lifestyle approaches my trainer recommended?
-Have I drawn a line in the sand about what I will and won’t accept, and am I willing to defend that line—or am I easily dissuaded from holding that line?
-Am I fundamentally soft, and do I telegraph that signal to my dog?
-Am I working every day to be better at all of the above, and am I comfortable with the fact that progress is a longterm play?
This is only a short list of possible items you could be overlooking or dropping the ball on (or kicking butt with). Just know that wherever you are in your relationship and life with your dog, the results and realities you will enjoy, or not, are all predicated on whether you’ve taken the time, put in the effort, and earned the same buy-in that your trainer did. No shortcuts are available. Either do the work and reap the rewards, or phone it in and reap the frustration and overwhelm.
P.S. And of course, all of the above still applies, even if you don’t have a trainer. The onus is on you regardless. Your dog will demand you earn their best, period. If you’re not getting their best, it’s time to realize you’re not giving yours.