08/17/2021
“Man Laws"
The International Council of Man Laws.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. (actually should not use one at all)
2: It is OK for a man to tear up ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) Hearing The National Anthem or U.S. Marine Corps Hymn
3: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
4: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
5: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is suspect.
6: When traveling together in a van or large SUV, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
7: When stumbling upon another guy watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
8: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a very sexy model and only when it's free.
9: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
10: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
11: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
12: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
13: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
14: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy ... Especially if the pizza is from "The Italian Store' in Arlington, Va.
15: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
16: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue..
17: There is no reason for guys to watch figure skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
