02/16/2023
Yup, that's my dog sleeping in bed with me. And I don't care. In fact, I encourage it if she wants to. Know what else I don't care about?
I don't care if she goes on the furniture.
I don't care if she doesn't heel or walk next to me.
I don't care if she pulls ahead.
I don't care if she goes through a door before I do.
I don't care if she gets snacks without having to do something I ask first.
Why don't I care? Because these are all subtle holdouts from the dominance theory myth, that we shouldn't "spoil" our dogs or they'll become dominant. Not only has this outdated myth been debunked, but holding onto these superficial things encourages us to try to control our dogs, instead of just loving them and letting them be the dogs they should be. I know I bring dogs into my life to make my life better, and theirs. And I hope you do the same.
If I wanted something to perform perfectly, I would have gotten a robot, not a dog. I don't expect robotic obedience from any dog and I don't judge dogs behaving like dogs as some failure of their owner. Sure, we can train skills we need for safety (like not jumping on grandma to greet her, or training a solid leave it for city dogs where there might be rat poison around) but there's very few obedience skills that I put a lot of value on for most dogs.
What do I care about? I want dogs to be unfearful, resilient with novelty, able to express themselves/do dog things without fear of punishment and to be exceptionally happy. Everything else is secondary to these things.
Let these stupid dominance theory holdouts go. SPOIL YOUR DOG. Let your dogs be dogs. Enjoy the snuggles. Watch a movie on the couch together. Share your snacks. Enjoy the meandering walks.
Enjoy it all, because one day, they will be gone and those are the moments you will remember. You won't care what a great job your dog did not going through the door before you or how great your dog heeled when you walked.
I cannot wait for all these outdated dog training beliefs to go away. Until then, I'll be here spoiling dogs and encouraging people to do the same.
