Horsekinship w/ Colleen Hallett

11/27/2025

I’ve found that each horse has their own path and I have mine.

We may bob and weave and synch up for a time, we may find ourselves walking side-by-side.

But I can’t choose their path.

They show it to me.
All I do is show up listening.

I have so many tools from over three decades as a horse lover, owner and trainer, but the only constant in any of these journeys with horses has been me.

And even that hasn’t been consistent!

How many versions of yourself have you lived walking beside horses?

The single thread I find that works with every single horse I’ve ever met is showing up with a listening, attuned body.

A body that says, “I’m here.”

“What do you have to show me today?”

“I’m listening.”

“I can feel myself.”

Every horse responds to this because every horse was designed by evolution to be relational; to be in their sensing, feeling body. To navigate the world based on feel.

And when you can’t feel yourself, they can feel that dissonance.

There’s no one in your body to commune with.

And so they feel isolated.

They appear stubborn, avoidant, bracing, dull, spooky, reactive, mouthy, pushy, hyper vigilant, aloof, obnoxious.

You too were designed by evolution for connection. Your gentle human body is a highly sensitive organism able to pick up on vibes, experience grief, ecstasy, joy, love, anger, and overwhelm.

You’re designed to feel.

Your feeling body is an asset to connection.

But you’ve been told you’re too much, too sensitive, too big, to skinny, to stiff, too weak, too you.

And so you’ve avoided feeling yourself. You’re trying to figure out how to be better, do better, but it’s all being informed by someone else’s opinion (or the itty bitty sh*tty committee of not enoughness living rent free in your head).

And while your thoughts run on hamster wheels and you try to shove all those pesky feelings down, your horse can’t connect with you.

Your horse doesn’t hate you for this.

They’ve learned to cope. It’s ok. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re not in trouble.

But there is an opportunity here.

Meet yourself.

Go down and in to your own gentle human body.
Feel all of yourself.
Breathe.
Stay with what you notice.
Don’t try to fix it.
Slow down and go deeper.
Let what is there be present.

Be here.
Don’t leave this space.
See how your horse responds.

And if you want to explore this deeper, DM me your email and I’ll send you two gentle meditations I recorded with my Herd a couple weeks ago. Each is about 10 minutes and sandwiches simple.

PS - You are enough.
Happy Thanksgiving 🍁

11/25/2025

Horsekinship exists at the intersection of presence, energy, and biomechanics.

My Horsekinship books are full right now; DM if you’d like to join the waitlist🐴🌀

11/17/2025

There’s something unfolding between horses and their humans. We’ve begun to move beyond meat training and partnership. We are shaping a new world together.

And I’m all in🐴🌀✨

11/14/2025

👉It’s going to take longer than you think.

👉You’re going to have to start loving yourself.

👉Feelings will come up. You will likely cry; that’s ok.

👉Your horse’s love does not hinge on whether or not you’re getting it all right.

👉You will spend more time on the ground than in the saddle.

👉Real healing is like peeling back layers on an onion; there are more layers than you think.

👉You will learn to go slower than you ever thought possible.

👉You will need to learn how to hold space for yourself so that you can hold space for your horse.

👉None of this is personal even though you will feel it all deeply.

👉You will meet parts of yourself that you’ve forgotten, neglected, tried to bypass or shove down, and parts of yourself you never imagined you were capable of becoming. All of you is medicine. Trust the journey.

This is the work we do together in Horsekinship. Comment KINSHIP to learn more.

11/12/2025

I’m the, “Everything is figureoutable” trainer.

Do I have over 15 years of experience as a pro?
Yes.

Have I wandered down about a bajillion training, biomechanics, saddle fit, nutrition, nervous system regulation, relational horsemanship rabbit holes, and “woo woo”?
Yes.

Does every horse teach me something new?
Emphatically yes.

If you want someone who knows everything, you’ll get stuck working with people who know nothing.

Beginners always think they know everything.

Masters know they are just scratching the surface.

Am I a master?
In some skills I am quite masterful.

But my greatest strengths as your trainer will always be my endless curiosity, my willingness to find answers, and the levity that I bring to a sport most people are taking way too seriously.

Here’s what Molly had to say about working with me…
👇👇

“I've experienced such rigidity in the horse world and, you know, because of my background I don't have a lot of experience with horses. It was never my thing. I came into it because of my girls.

It's hard to know what to do sometimes. I’ve talked to so many people and they say, ‘this is the way it's done.’ and you're like, ‘oh, okay’ but then you turn around and somebody else is like, ‘Oh my God, that's horrible; this is the way it's done.’

Colleen handles things differently. It's refreshing to hear her say, ‘This is what I’ve found that works, but I don't pretend to know everything.’

There's just an openness to working with Colleen. She doesn't pretend to have all the answers and she’s always learning from other people. I appreciate that.”

___________

This is the work we do together in Horsekinship. Comment KINSHIP to learn more.

11/09/2025

In fact, it was all those years of “leaving my feelings at the gate” that ruined my feel and my ability to connect with horses at their deepest layer.

When you shove something down and pretend it doesn't exist, it doesn't go away. You just take it from your conscious awareness to the shadow of your unconscious.

It's still there, but now you have the “convenience” of not being able to sense whether or not its mucking up your feel, timing, or ability to connect deeply with your horse.

Some days it's hard to work on your own horse. You love them so much, you want what's best for them, and all those good intentions build up into little gremlins in your head that begin to second guess if you're doing it right or wrong until you're trapped in your head running on the minds hamster wheel, completely taken out of the present moment.

And that's ok.

You're human. You're allowed to be human.

So what do I do when all my love, all my worries, and all my humany feelings begin to over-couple the present moment?

I step back. (Literally and figuratively.)

I find my feeling body, I meet her capacity.
I don't shame myself or try to “fix” myself.
I witness myself in that present moment and then I witness my horse.

Worry, perfectionism, “shoulding” on yourself is the antithesis to connection.

Take yourself back to a space between you and your horse where you can once again be congruent, present, in your feeling body instead of your thinking mind, and let your horse show you what they need from you.

After working with hundreds of people and horses, I can confidently say…

…The hardest horse to work with will always be your own.

It doesn't matter if you're a pro or an amateur, all that love you have for that four-legged fur ball that eats up your paycheck each month, will put you in touch with the most humany parts of yourself.

And that's ok.

It's how you treat yourself in that moment that matters most.

This is the work we do together in Horsekinship. Comment UNICORN to learn more.

11/08/2025

You know that voice in your head that’s always questioning whether you’re doing it “right”?

The voice that turns your thinking into overthinking and then the racing thoughts come tumbling forward and all of a sudden you freeze, don’t know what to do. You’re neck deep in questioning your every move, and you feel like a failure before you’ve begun… yeah, those thoughts?

It’s time to ditch them. Because honestly, you aren’t here to get it all right. You’re not here to be perfect. And you’re not here to pretend you’ve got it all figured out.

You horse doesn’t need you to get it all “right”.

So send the itty-bitty-sh!tty committee, responsible for all those feelings of self doubt, packing and give yourself permission to have ✨FUN✨.

Be a student of your horse not because its the “right” thing to do but because listening, responding, and letting them lead fills you both with so much lightness and joy and loving affection that you're never caught under the thumb of crippling perfectionism again.

Make being with your horse feel light and easful.

Get out of your head and into the present moment so that your time together is more than effective, it’s fun!

This is the work we do together in Horsekinship. Comment KINSHIP to learn more.

11/06/2025

So often, I come across clients who’ve been led to believe there’s some complex formula to building a meaningful connection with their horses. They’ve bought all the tack, the special tools, and the extra special treats. But the truth is, it starts with something simple—showing up fully and being willing to listen. When you can bring a calm presence and an open, curious mindset, your horse will respond in ways that will both surprise and delight you.

Good horsemanship is less about knowing all the answers, and more about being present enough to feel the small shifts and curious enough to explore where they lead.

Great things happen when we’re willing to slow down, let go of ‘perfect,’ and tune in to your horse with presence and curiosity. 🌿💛

”

11/05/2025

Some horses aren’t here for the same thing you want.

That’s ok.

Like your own gentle human body, can you meet your horse where they are on their journey without judgement or trying to “fix” it?

10/27/2025

I got stuck on one sales ad in particular. Horse was listed in the $1-$10,000 category on the sale site.

Ad read:

“Unique horse for sale, and Priced cheap because she has things about her that make her tough. Most issues are on the ground. Needs drugs to shoe, hates vets, but…trailers fantastic and is usually quite good under saddle. She’s been to a handful of shows and even placed in her first derby. She’s very comfortable to ride and brave to the jumps. Lead changes can be a bit exaggerated, but she has them. Has shown up to 3’. That’s her on the right. Make an offer! She needs to go by November 1st.”

Then I hopped on Barry. Some days he’s “I’m noticing and feeling my body for the first time Barry”. Some days he’s “I’m nervous but I’m trying Barry.” Others he can be “I tried but now I’m stuck in freeze Barry.” Sometimes defensive Barry comes out to play. (I lovingly call this one “Dick Barry”)

He’s been an onion from the start and it’s taken over a year to sit on him for the second time.

Today he flirted with all his different versions of himself. And we ended on a fabulous note.

He’s so lucky.

He has an owner who bought a lovely horse, that turned into a project, and she began peeling back the layers

I’m lucky they found me. I have learned so much working with this horse.

Because of Barry, my heart broke a little reading that sales ad.

(Kudos to the trainer for being brutally honest and pricing the horse accordingly.)

But I read that ad and I see a five year project. Minimum.

That horse is an onion.

Watching her video, reading how she’s described, she’s got a lot of layers that need peeling back.

Emotional layers.
Physical layers.
Trauma layers.
Coping layers
Bio-mechanical layers.

When I hopped on Barry today we had the layer of “human hands hurt; I’m going to avoid the contact.” Then we had the “maybe I should just try to stand by the gate” layer. We had the “I’m feeling my whole body and noticing the sensations for the first time in ages” layer. And the “holy cow, this is a lot to be present with, I’m feeling overwhelmed” layer.

We ended the session, me on his back, and his owner leading him and working on simple things he already feels comfortable with.

We ended beautifully.

We flirted with his cozy edges, played with what stretched him, helped him stay in his body through the whole process, and never put him in a situation where his fears about humans, and work, and contact were confirmed.

That’s all I want for every horse.

I don’t live in that world.

So I’m going to sleep tonight, feeling an ocean of things.

Grateful that this sales horse has such an honest ad written about her. It’s her best shot.

Hopeful someone who knows how to play across all layers of the horse, not just the mind/body training of the horse, swoops her up and begins an onion journey of their own.

An over flowing sense of gratitude for Barry’s owner for trusting the pace of our progress.

Gratitude for Barry for reminding me how well all this works when we slow all the way down and address mind, body, pain, fear, bracing, nervous system disregulation, and every other layer of the onion in its own time.

I’m grateful for all the horses before him who made me the trainer I am today.

And I’m grateful for the version of me who stopped trying to play by someone else’s rules, and began playing by the only rule that matters:

Serving the opening.

The gentle, mammalian need to evolve, root down, and expand without overriding the nervous system or stagnating in what feels perpetually “safe.”

Here’s to the mess of the entire journey and the grace to love every moment of it🐴🌀✨

08/02/2025

I use the three finger rule (yes, I’ve reached the point of making up my own rules😅) or no noseband at all when schooling and the two finger rule when applicable for the show ring. Never tighter. Never a negotiation.

Why?

👉 three finger rule for schooling: horse can lick, chew, and yawn which are important functions for your horse to be able to release emotional and physical tension during your training session

👉 no noseband: for educated horses. If they are truly educated to seeking and accepting the contact, you don’t need one so why have another piece of tack to clean?🤷‍♀️ (spoken by a former pony clubber turned adult who’d rather cloud gaze with her horses than scrub pieces of tack she doesn’t need)

New research shows cranking the noseband hurts your horse's gait.

There are always many opinions about nosebands. Too loose, and a trainer might call it sloppy. Too tight, and it becomes a welfare concern. There are studded and crank and chain and traditional, and all kinds of gadgets and gizmos designed to keep our horse’s mouth shut, but what is best for the horse? Is cranking that extra hole doing more harm than good?

A 2025 study published in the Journal of Equine Veterinary Science examined the impact of noseband tightness on pressure and performance. The results are eye-opening if you believe that a tighter noseband means better performance in the ring.

Most riders are familiar with the standard: leave two fingers’ space beneath the noseband. It’s even outlined in guidelines from the FEI. And according to the study, 85% of riders say they know this recommendation. But when researchers actually measured the fit using a standardized taper gauge, only 15% had their nosebands adjusted to the proper tension.

The vast majority were too tight. Sometimes dramatically too tight.

The Hidden Pressure on a Horse’s Face
In the study, eight horses were fitted with a simple cavesson noseband and tested at three settings: a standard two-finger fit, a snug one-finger fit, and a cranked-tight zero-finger fit. Under each setting, researchers measured facial pressure and evaluated gait.

- The one-finger setting increased pressure on the nasal bone by 54% over the two-finger baseline.
- The zero-finger setting? A staggering 338% increase in pressure.

Imagine trying to do your day job with a belt cinched tight around your nose and jaw. Now add that your success relies on body movement, and you have no way to say, “This hurts.” That’s similar to what the horse might feel like being asked to perform in a fully tightened noseband that more than triples the force exerted on its face.

Unfortunately, changes to tack and equipment don’t typically come solely from the perspective of the horse’s comfort. So let’s look at performance as well.

In addition to pressure data, the researchers measured each horse’s trot stride. As the noseband got tighter, the stride got shorter—by a lot. On average:

- Horses at the one-finger tightness lost 6.2% of their stride length.
- With a fully tightened noseband, stride loss jumped to 11.1%.

In real-world terms, that’s about 24 centimeters, roughly the length of a hoof, disappearing from every stride. While that may not sound dramatic at first, consider how it compounds across a full course. Shorter strides can mean rushed distances, flat movement, and a horse that never quite gets to “flow.” In the hunter ring, 24 centimeters could be the difference between pinning in a highly competitive under saddle class.

And this wasn’t just about stiffness or resistance. The study found a statistically significant negative correlation between noseband pressure and stride length. In short, the tighter the fit, the shorter the step.

Sure, a longer stride is helpful in the show ring. But this research highlights deeper concerns about what that level of pressure does to the horse’s face and nerves. The noseband sits directly over sensitive structures, including branches of the trigeminal nerve, which help regulate posture and proprioception. Excessive pressure here doesn’t just hurt. It may also interfere with the horse’s balance and coordination.

Previous studies have shown that pressures as low as 32 kPa can damage tissue. In this study, the tightest noseband setting reached an average of 115.8 kPa. That’s far above what’s been associated with pain or injury in other species. That number isn’t just theoretical. It’s happening under tack, often unnoticed, every day. And unlike overt lameness, this kind of pressure flies under the radar, making it easy to miss, but just as impactful.

🔗 Read the full article at https://www.theplaidhorse.com/2025/07/30/new-research-shows-cranking-your-noseband-hurts-your-horses-gait/

🔗 Read the full study here: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0737080625003120?via%3Dihub

07/18/2025

And just like that ✨POOF✨ all spaces have be claimed💖

If you’d like to join our next event DM me; I already have women signing up for that one.
The horse magic is real🐴💫