http://goldenmaldogtraining.com/

thegoldenmal, El Monte, CA (2024)

08/17/2024

Now that Instagram allows you to reply to comments with reels, I wanted to bring my Q&A’s into my account directly. Previously I’ve hosted them in channels and in stories, but these will be permanent and allow for much more detailed questions AND replies.

So drop any and all dog questions in the comments, and as I have time I’ll reply to them in the form of a full reel :)

This post will stay up indefinitely, so please come back and add questions as you think of them! I’ll post periodic reminders on my story as well as have this post pinned. ✨🐕

08/07/2024

6 years ago i gave birth to my son. here’s his sonogram to prove it. happy birthday finley 🥹 here’s to another year of strangers telling me you’re soooo skinny for a golden retriever, shedding all over everything i own, and being too old for leo dicaprio. ✨🐕

02/15/2024

Yesterday I posted a reel talking about how much I dislike the way dog trainers are so comfortable to badmouth their clients on here.

But the truth is, the problem isn’t that the trainers are badmouthing clients, the problem is that their community makes them feel like they CAN.

So, here are things I look for when interacting with others in the dog training community online:

Are the posts meant to uplift the dog owners that follow them or demean the ones that don’t?

(Is it joking with your own community, or laughing at someone else’s?)

Are the posts focused on what they advise clients TO do, or what they advise them NOT to do?

(You know, the trainers who swear they want nothing to do with XYZ-group, but also won’t stop talking about them.)

Are they criticizing another trainer or ideology WITH alternatives, or are they just leaving it at the criticism?

(Is there a “this is how I train XYZ” post for every “stop using this tool” post?)

Are negative posts written from the perspective of education and honesty, or fear-mongering and clickbait?

(Take a shot every time you see the buzzwords “fear,” “force,” “pain,”?)

And when most content falls into the latter category, it makes me question where their passion really lies.

So over the past year, I’ve been personally trying to restructure the tone of my posts.

Instead of “5 mistakes you’re making with your dog,” I might write, “5 things to try with your dog.” Instead of, “How you’re hurting your dog’s confidence,” I might write, “How you can help your dog’s confidence.” Instead of, “You aren’t playing with your dog enough,” I might write, “How to play with your dog more.”

It’s less optimal for the algorithm (so don’t judge me too hard if I slip one in every once in a while…), but it’s more optimal for the kind of community I want to have here!

01/31/2024

Why do dogs LOVE people that DON’T like dogs?

I hear it all the time, especially with dogs who either struggle with shyness around people or are just typically more neutral.

Clients will tell me that their dog for some reason loves their friends that don’t like dogs that much, or get attached to the household member that shows them the least love.

The answer is actually quite simple: dogs love people that leave them alone.

If I tell someone that they can’t pet my dog, people always start their argument at being turned down with, “Don’t worry, I’m a dog lover.”

And I can guarantee that that is the same person who is bombarding dogs with affection, never waiting to read their body language, never bothering to make sure the dog is actually enjoying what’s happening.

Dogs generally don’t like kids for the same reason: too much energy, low understanding of boundaries, and a righteous expectation that animals will love them.

It’s interesting that so many “dog lovers” seem to possess those traits too.

But your friend that never really liked dogs, or is more of a cat person, is more likely to give your dog space, to ignore them instead of following them around, to give tentative affection at first, to check in and make sure they’re doing it right, and to not be offended if the dog DOESN’T enjoy it.

And THAT is what makes dogs like those people.

Respect. Boundaries. Space.

01/17/2024

What happens when training your dog isn’t enough?

A year or two ago I noticed a lot more owners carrying e-collar remotes, walking their dogs on prongs, bringing treat pouches, knowing what a high value reward was.

And I was super excited!

But then I noticed that there wasn’t really a difference in the actual dogs.
 The shiny, yellow Mini Educator remote around an owner’s neck didn’t stop their dogs from running up to mine.

The treat pouch filled with cheese and kibble didn’t stop their dog from lunging to the end of the leash as I walked by.

The well-fit, Herm Sprenger prong collar didn’t stop the dog from pulling the whole walk.

And haven’t we all seen that video of the lady with the long line whose dog managed to go after a biker for a solid three minutes?

It starts with the trainers.

Please running your clients through 2-week board and trains and then saying goodbye forever. Please emphasize the important of practice and learning on their part, not just their dogs.

I’m the first to say “Hell yeah, let’s do it!” when someone wants to do private lessons over a board and train because there’s nothing I love more than an owner that wants to learn.

Dog owners: The training your dog receives is useless if you don’t know how to use it.

Dog trainers: It doesn’t matter how good your training is if that dog goes home to hands that have no idea how to replicate it.

01/11/2024

If your dogs are trained… PROVE IT.

Because if your dogs are walking towards me off-leash, I’m not gonna just stand there waiting patiently to find out, and I shouldn’t have to.

Here’s the thing: just because YOU know that your dog is controlled doesn’t mean everyone else does.

Yes, YOU might know that your dog walks past other dogs without approaching, the other person is seeing a dog doing quite literally whatever they want.

Yes, YOU might know that your dog will recall on a dime if you tell them to, the other person is seeing a dog that could, at any second, turn and charge or attack theirs.

Yes, YOU might know that your dog is neutral, the other person is seeing the exact same type of off-leash dog and careless owner that has disturbed so many of their walks before.
 And they shouldn’t have to tense up as you slowly get closer, wondering which option you are.

I cannot count how many times I have asked someone to recall their dogs and they’ve agreed to but then failed, or said “he’s fine,” as their dog was already preparing to attack mine.

Before you ask, those owners often had treat pouches. Those dogs often wore e-collars. Training does not equal good or effective training. Good and effective training does not equal responsible handling.

Whenever I walk my dog off-leash, not only do I always have a leash on me to leash him when requested, but most of the time it never gets that far because the second I see another person or dog I take initiative call him to my side, and he stays glued to me so close that a lot of people don’t even realize he isn’t on leash in the first place. I also will cross the street so they can see clearly I’m aware and giving space.

My dog has the privilege of being off-leash due to his training and temperament, but he does not have the privilege of making literally everyone else uncomfortable or nervous.

01/09/2024

Here are the ways a backyard has improved my dog’s quality of life:

…I can’t think of any.

In Finley’s five years of life, we’ve lived in one house without a backyard, three houses WITH a backyard, one house on a massive property, two studio apartments.

And across those many living places, the ONLY change was how much work *I* had to put in.
 Read that again: It is MY life that changes when I have a backyard, not his.

Whether we lived in 500 square feet and no yard, or a multi-story house on an acre of land, Finley’s daily life still had purposeful, intentional, and active training, playing, and walking. Any time in the backyard was just bonus fresh air and easier potty breaks late at night, a nice private area to train and play, but nothing more.

Even now, Finley could roam my backyard for hours if he wanted to, but at most he’ll sniff around for ten minutes or so and then lie down.

Why?

Because a stagnant piece of land is not the most exciting thing in his life, and it SHOULDN’T be. He doesn’t look to a patch of grass for excitement and fun. He looks to ME for that.

And the same should be true for you.

Because your backyard doesn’t exercise, play with, train, stimulate, or fulfill your dog. YOU do.

01/02/2024

Introducing… 75-Hard Challenge: Dog Edition!

The standard version of this challenge is for humans, and involves following different rules for 75 days straight. This is the dog edition, intended to help you better your dog’s life and improve your relationship!

And what better day to start than January 1st?

Follow along by posting stories or reels/IG posts and TAG ME in them! I highly recommend condensing everything into a highlight (can share your own posts to your story and save to the highlight) with this post as the first slide so people can learn more when they click!
 At the end of the 75 days, we’ll see how many of you fulfilled all 75 days, and maybe there’ll be a little prize… 👀

Today is January 1st, which means today is Day 1. It’s a little late to fulfill all the requirements, so as long as you choose to commit to the challenge, you’ve already fulfilled Day 1!

(And if you’re late to the party, no worries! Whatever day you choose to do this, that’s your Day 1!)

Ready for Day 2?

See you tomorrow 👀

12/28/2023

I’ve heard trainers criticize “regular” dog owners for posting dog training advice, but I think a more important conversation is considering WHY people are asking dog owners for advice in the first place? WHY not dog trainers?

In my opinion, it’s because relatability is a crucial factor in learning.

Naturally, I am terrible at math. Even now I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do long division with a gun to my head. My father has a PhD in mathematics. When I was a kid he would try to help me with my homework, and… yeah, you can imagine how that went.

It’s not that I don’t believe my father was qualified to help me. And it’s not that he was trying to be a terrible teacher. But that didn’t change the fact that it was a nightmarish experience.

One issue was the fact that if I didn’t understand something (which I never did), he had no idea what else to say because HE had never experienced it not making sense.

Dog owners don’t need a trainer who understands everything perfectly, they need a trainer who understands what it’s like NOT to understand.

Who knows how it feels to be clumsy with the leash and the food and the markers.

Who has experienced what it’s like to try to break old habits.

Who can show them different ways of translating body language into information.

Of course I find it incredibly important to tell people about my experience, my qualifications, and make them believe that I can teach them. That part IS important, and it’s what makes me a dog trainer.

But in conveying that expertise, I cannot lose trust that I understand them, can see things through their eyes, can explain concepts like they DON’T make sense, can be patient and adaptive.

Other dog owners? They definitely already understand that.

You? A dog trainer who is constantly saying how naturally dog training comes to you, how your life is built around dogs (not a 9-5 desk job), how perfect and trainable your dogs are?

Maybe not…

P.S. I’d love to hear opinions from BOTH dog trainers and dog owners!

P.P.S. I don’t mind dog owners giving advice anyway.

12/23/2023

Very rarely do you see a stable, confident, clear-thinking dog struggle with separation anxiety.

This is not a coincidence.

Yet it is not that these dogs magically possess a love for being alone, but that they possess skills—impulse control, stress tolerance, self-soothing abilities—which are incompatible with separation anxiety.

So, my top training tip for overcoming separation anxiety is to STOP trying to get rid of the separation anxiety itself and START trying to build the skills your dog needs to overcome it on their own.
 Here’s what I mean by that:

→ Build independence in your dog by encouraging them to do activities by themselves.

→ Work on increasing your dog’s tolerance for stress through “leave it” games and other impulse control exercises.

→ Teach your dog self-soothe within crate and/or tether confinement.

→ Create patterns of thinking under high-arousal situations, like obedience around toys, other dogs, positive distractions.

→ And, as always, make sure you are meeting their needs before you start trying to get them to fulfill your wants.

Separation anxiety does not exist inside of a vacuum, it is a combination of a lot of different traits. Correct those traits, and you correct the problem!

12/21/2023

Listen, I get it. My dog is attached at the hip to me, and would live inside my skin if he could.

He demands attention, loves cuddling, follows me like a shadow, and his favorite activity is doing anything that I am also doing.

And yet he doesn’t have separation anxiety, nor does he “struggle” to be alone.

But if I had tried to make him LOVE being without me, undoubtedly I would have failed. He will never choose, prefer, or want that. Instead, I knew that I just needed to help him ACCEPT being by himself.

See the difference?

It is completely understandable that we as dog owners want our dogs to be happy all the time and enjoy everything that they do.

So we try to teach them to LOVE nail trims, and to LOVE going to the vet, and to LOVE being by themselves…

Let me ask you this: Do you LOVE going to the dentist? Do you LOVE doing your taxes? Do you LOVE sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic when you’re already starving, and tired from a long day at work?

Of course not.

But when you were a child your parents and teachers and caregivers taught you how to process disappointment, how to cope with unpleasant feelings and circumstances, and as an adult you learned what podcasts and playlists make you feel better, so that now you can sit in traffic without going nuts and doing something that would get you plastered on the headline of every major news outlet.

Dogs are no different. There won’t always be “love.” And if we keep pushing for that idealistic end goal, we might never reach any goal at all.

12/19/2023

And that is the reason every single new client of mine must undergo a comprehensive consultation before they book any training.

Misalignment in expectation is the death of a dog’s success, always.

I had a client who used to only report bad news when we met for sessions, even though the dog was actually doing really well.

After a couple of sessions, I noticed that at the end of each one, when we discussed homework to practice, we were inadvertently always setting goals that were not impossible, but unlikely.

And while sometimes that can be motivating (“shoot for the moon, land in the stars”), in this case it was making her feel like she was failing.

So the next time, I pulled us back a little bit.

Instead of talking about what she was going to practice every day, we talked about how she could fit into her schedule practicing just two days. Instead of setting goals about her dog reacting less to other dogs, we set goals about how well she was able to regain his focus regardless of when it happened.

In the following sessions, not only did she have way better reports, she was also visibly more motivated and engaged too. Positive reinforcement and hope in being correct is important for both you AND your dog.

Keep in mind that nothing actually changed. Her dog’s progress continued at the same rate it always was, and she was practicing at the same rate she was before too, and yet she was still happier.
 By setting less intense expectations, not only was she able to meet those goals, but she actually SURPASSED them too! Her hard work didn’t feel like failing, it felt like growth.

What are some expectations you’ve had to adjust?

09/02/2023

If I were to adopt a new dog today… this is the path I would take.

1. Forget your expectations.

Living animals are all unique, especially ones that have had weeks or months or even years of experiences you don’t know about. It’s okay to have goals and visions, but don’t hold onto them too tightly.

2. Start with management.

It doesn’t matter how good of a dog owner you are if you’re so overwhelmed that you can’t exhibit any of that good ownership. The road to perfection is riddled with “good enough.” Don’t worry about fixing, building, a teaching, and just start with managing.

3. Meet their needs.

A diet that they thrive on. Structure to keep them safe. A comfortable space of their own to rest. Toys that they like to play with. Chews and enrichment toys for stimulation. Daily walks and physical exercise. Time to sniff and decompress. Breed specific fulfillment. Affection and companionship.

4. Start training (ideally with a professional).

It’s not that obedience solves every problem, but there is immeasurable value in the PROCESS of creating that obedience: building a relationship, creating positive associations, learning to communicate, developing trust, and boosting engagement in all environments.

5. Compromise.

It goes both ways. My dog needs to be able to heel and hold a down, but I will only bring him where he’s comfortable. My dog needs to learn to deal with his fears, but I will help him do that. My dog needs to learn to relax in the house, but I will show him how.

Where did you start with your dog?

08/17/2023

5 things (that aren’t obedience) to teach your dog:

1 OFFERED BEHAVIORS

Instead of asking for eye contact, wait your dog out and reward when they choose to give it. Instead of recalling, start moving in a direction and reward when they choose to follow. A behavior a dog does by choice will always be stronger than a behavior that can only be requested.

2 PLAY SKILLS

Play shouldn’t just be about your dog playing with their toy, it should be about playing with YOU. The toy is a bridge, not a wall.

3 MARKER TRAINING

Communication is the foundation to training. If your dog doesn’t even know how to accept a reward, how will they ever learn from it? Start with a basic “yes” or clicker, and expand from there! My dogs have 5+ markers.

4 FREE SHAPING

Teach your dog to think for themselves!

Free shaping captures a dog’s instinctive behaviors and chosen actions. They lead the session, and you guide them.

5 LEASH PRESSURE

Do you have a dog for whom the leash is a point of conflict? A barrier between you two? A feeling to fight? Or even, in some cases, an instigator?

Reconditioning their response to the leash can be a game changer. It’s as simple as walking away until the leash tightens, and rewarding them for following the leash. They’ll learn over time that even just light pressure is a signal to come closer for food.

A dog’s first language is physical touch. The leash can either help or hurt that; it’s up to you!

08/14/2023

Your dog should be living a “Truman Show” life.

You know, the movie where Truman learns that his entire life has been rehearsed and created by a Higher Being (aka a TV show network)?

What I mean by that is this: so often people want to use their dog’s training in real life, as they should, but they never practice it before they need it. And this is a problem I see within ALL training camps: service dogs, pets, reactivity.

If you want your dog to lie on place while you cook, you need to practice having them be on place while you walk around the kitchen doing nothing before you have them lie on place while you’re carrying hot trays.

If you want your service dog to be able to go to physical therapy with you, you need to spend multiple sessions JUST practicing the “motions” with your full attention on them before you attend a session and need to focus on the actual physical therapy.

If you want your reactive dog to be able to work through their overexcitement on their own, you need to practice letting them make choices with guidance before you go out and expect self-sufficiency.

Spend time doing whole training sessions in which you don’t look down at your dog once, but you watch them in your peripheral vision and reward or guide them the same way so that when you’re ACTUALLY not paying attention they don’t unravel.

Practice recall when they’re just sniffing grass before you expect them to recall away from a squirrel.

(If the first time you’ve tried to get your dog to recall on a hike is when you aren’t sure if they’re going to listen… it’s too late).

I think people don’t practice these things because they don’t “need” them in the moment so they don’t think about it, but your dog needs to experience success habitually, and that means practicing behavior when it IS easy so that it’s second-nature when you actually need it.

Your dog is Truman. You are the TV show producer. Make it happen!

07/14/2023

There are always so many conflicting but confident posts being spread around about the “safest” thing to do for your dog. They go viral because fear-mongering boosts engagement like no other, but they’re not always true.

For example:

If it’s hot outside, your dog MUST wear boots or they’ll burn their paw pads and be in immense pain…

…but if they wear boots when it’s hot they won’t be able to breathe through their feet and they’ll get heatstroke.

If your dog wears a collar inside or in their crate it’s an extreme choking hazard and they’ll probably get caught on something and suffocate to death…

…but if your dog gets scared or excited or is just unpredictable as dogs are and escapes, they now have no tags and no way to be caught.

If you take your dog out to exercise in bad weather (ie. cold, hot, low air quality) they’ll get sick/injured…

…but if you don’t take them out, they’ll suffer because they’re not getting exercise or fulfillment the way they should.

If you don’t kennel your dog in the car they’ll die if you get in a car accident…

…but if you use the wrong kind of kennel they could be even worse off than if they weren’t in a kennel at all.

If you exercise your puppy you’ll damage their growth…

…but if you don’t exercise your puppy they’ll never build muscle to prevent injury.

And on and on and on.

My dog does not wear boots because he runs warm so overheating is a major concern, and I would rather help him build environmental resistance.

For him, the odds of overheating are higher than him burning or freezing his paws.

But he does not wear a collar most of the time because he is highly accustomed to being off-leash and is not an escape artist.

For him, the odds of getting caught on his collar are higher than the odds of him running off.

But the reality is that everything preventing one danger will create another. Evaluate your situation and do what is best for YOU.

06/22/2023

Please stop teaching service dogs to “get help.”

The gist of the task is this: If a person is in medical crisis, the dog can be sent off to find someone and get help.

Well, that’s the theory.

But your service dog has absolutely no legal or ethical standing to do this in public.

From a legal standpoint, the Americans with Disabilities Act says this:

→ Under the ADA, a service animal must be under the control of its handler. Service animals must also be harnessed, leashed, or tethered.

→ [If a task or disability interferes with a leash] the individual must maintain control of the animal through voice, signal, or other effective controls.

Your dog wandering around a street or a store doing who-knows-what while you’re incapacitated enough to need to send for help is NOT under control. There is a reason it is illegal for TSA to require you to unleash your dog, and a reason why guide dog schools teach their handlers to navigate security while maintaining 100% leashed contact.

From an ethics standpoint, consider this:

→ My experience with the general public is that they will look at a dog wearing a vest saying “Service Dog” and ask if it’s a service dog. Do you REALLY think they’ll know why your dog is wandering around?

→ Many people are allergic, afraid, or just don’t like dogs. Your dog should not be approaching them.

→ What if your dog runs into an aggressive dog? Gets hit by a car? Approaches someone who also has a service dog? It’s a risk, and not just for your own dog, but for others who didn’t agree to shoulder it.

I saw a TikTok of a person berating a Petco employee because he asked her to leash her service dog, and her defense was that he needs to be able to “get help.” Absolutely not.

If you want your dog to get help within your home, go for it! But keep it to YOUR private residence, not the outside world.

06/15/2023

I often tell clients that the process of training their dog will inadvertently take away their need for the training in the first place.

For example…

→Training recall results in a dog that is less likely to run away/more likely to follow along.

→ Training a dog to heel generally builds an awareness and engagement level that removes the need to have the dog positioned by command.

→ Teaching a dog to stay on place in the home usually teaches them how to settle by themselves.

Clients generally come in knowing what commands they want their dog to know, but I always ask if they’d still want their dog to sit/lie down/heel if their dog wasn’t pulling/barking/reacting… and the answer is usually no.

Even more than teaching a dog to follow a command by rote, I find it even more valuable to build a dog’s interest in doing the behavior on their own. It improves the relationship between the dog and the owner AND it makes the behavior more reliable.
 That’s not to say obedience is useless, I use it all the time for safety, public manners, and more, but there’s a difference between wanting a dog to know how to heel so they can navigate crowded areas and wanting a dog to heel because if they don’t they’ll go crazy at any person that walks by

And yeah, this isn’t just something any dog can start doing without the proper foundational prep… but most dogs are capable of so much more than we let them show!

What behaviors have you noticed your dog has learned to choose?

06/10/2023

“Dog friendly” doesn’t mean “dog necessary.”

In other words, just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

And also in other words, is your dog coming for THEM or for YOU?
 As the weather warms up, a lot of dog-friendly activities open: hiking, outdoor dining, picnics at the park, beach days, and just generally being out.

But my overall takeaway when I see dogs out with their owners is… wow. I bet that dog would be much happier at home.

Maybe they’re scared of other people, dogs, or new places, and they’re practically hyperventilating under the table. Maybe they’re unable to control their excitement and spend five hours in a state of high alert. Maybe they’re just not interested in doing those activities.

Without even getting into having the training skills to succeed in these situations, the truth is that a lot of dogs probably don’t even ENJOY it.

Training plays a big part, of course, and I completely understand that people who live in cities may struggle to find other things to do with their dog, and I completely understand that people want their dog to spend time with them.

But if you’ve been trying to get your dog to “accept” doing these activities, you may have to consider that maybe they’re telling you how they feel about it the only way they know how.

Dogs can have very fulfilling lives in other ways. Walks around the block, park time dedicated just for them, trick training and other enrichment indoors, focused play sessions with their owners, play dates with dog friends, time to sniff when it’s quiet out.

So before you take your dog out to a dog-friendly place, it might help to ask your dog if they even want to go in the first place!

thegoldenmal

08/17/2024

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