12/08/2024
Puppies Need Rules and Boundaries
Imagine this: You carry your toddler into the kitchen, set them down, and turn off the burner on which you had been boiling the pasta for your dinner. As you're draining the pasta in the sink, out of the corner of your eye you see the toddler reaching toward that still hot burner. You say their name, but the little one is oblivious, focused on the pretty bowl sitting there in which you'll place the pasta. They're in that stage where they're curiously learning about the world -- its wonders, its dangers, its possibilities, its rules.
The child's fingers are inches from the glowing burner and closing in. Do you explain to the toddler why touching a hot stove will result in a burn and permanent scarring? Do you set your pan down and retrieve a toy to put into the toddler's hands in an attempt to 'redirect'? I'm guessing you'd do neither. You'd probably raise your voice in a firm "No!" and/or grab the child and pull them away so they wouldn't have to learn the hard way.
Verbal corrections have their place. They interrupt a behavior. They let the child (or puppy) know that you're unhappy with what they're doing. They have a purpose. They get quick results. They help to eliminate unwanted behavior. They define boundaries.
With thirty plus years of breeding and placing puppies, one of the biggest problems I see in owners is a reluctance to correct puppies for unwanted behavior. People are afraid of being 'mean' to their furry little friends and think the puppy won't like them. Well, for a few seconds, they might not, but that's the point. It's possible to be too nice. A verbal correction interrupts immediately and lets the puppy know you're not pleased. At that point you can redirect and let them know the preferred behavior.
Right now I have a puppy in the room who keeps stealing used tissues out of the trash can and shredding them. She's getting her adult teeth, so chewing is currently her number one activity. Ideally, I try to catch her with her face in the trash can or chewing on the tissue and I tell her in no uncertain terms "No! We don't chew on these." She then hangs her head and shows submission and I throw her a toy. Rinse and repeat. She'll get it eventually, but if I don't ever tell her I don't want her doing that, how is she to know?
The same goes for pulling on the leash and trying to be the one who determines where we go, lunging or barking at people or dogs in public, pottying in the house, or mouthing/biting human body parts. Preventing that type of behavior can begin with a simple, terse 'no'. Is it the only way of bringing about the type of behavior we do want? Absolutely not, but it is one tool among many and one we always have with us when we need an immediate response and don't have treats or toys to distract them.
Is this 'mean' of me? I sure don't think so. It's the same way I raised my kids. They learned not to touch things that weren't theirs, to not run out into the street, and not to hit their sibling by hearing 'no'. In actuality, it is a kindness for both kids and puppies. It helps them know what is not acceptable behavior, so that they can compare it to what is.
When we teach our puppies rules, we give them boundaries and thus provide structure. This lets them feel secure about the world. And when they know how to behave (and also how not to), then they become the type of dog who gets compliments at the vet, becomes the star of obedience class, is invited to family get togethers, and that we as owners are generally comfortable taking places and are proud of.
As people we have laws that provide structure to society. There are generally accepted rules about how we treat one other. If there were no rules or laws, then it wouldn't feel safe to be out and about and you wouldn't know who to trust or even if you could. Life would be chaos.
We've grown so averse to negative reinforcement, even verbal corrections, that in some cases we've become overly permissive. Unruly dogs begin as the puppies who aren't told not to mouth hands or pull on leash and can become the fully grown dogs with the propensity to bite the vet when they try to perform a needed service the dog doesn't like. They are the dogs I encounter on the bike path dragging the owner along and then barking and lunging at me and my well-trained dog trotting quietly beside me. They are the dogs not welcome at holiday gatherings because they jump on guests.
'No' is not a dirty word. It simply means don't do that. Dogs are capable of understanding what to do or not do. They really do want to please us. They want to fit into our world and be an integral part of it. But they can't be the ones deciding whether or not there are any rules.
Can verbal corrections be overdone? Absolutely! Some dogs are highly sensitive and require only a light 'no'. Some need more. And you certainly can't go around all day saying nothing but 'no' and not letting them know what makes you happy or what they are allowed or encouraged to do.
But as with anything in life, it's not an absolute. You do only as much as is needed. And trust me it's much easier to introduce them to rules as puppies than adults once they've gotten away with a lot.
By the way, I finally put the trash can up where the puppy can't reach it. Evidently, it was so worth it to her to steal snotty tissues that she started doing it when I wasn't paying attention. We'll try again tomorrow. She'll learn. Eventually.
And you know what? She still loves me and covers my face in puppy kisses and fetches her ball for me. We're good.
