06/06/2025
"The Penny Incident"
By Braker the Dog
(Yes, thatās my real name. No, I donāt regret anything. Some parts of this story may have been embellished. But only slightly)
So there I was, just minding my businessāsniffing, licking, living my best lifeāwhen I spotted it: a shiny, glorious penny on the floor. Coppery. Mysterious. Probably delicious.
Naturally, I ate it.
Was it food? Who knows. Thatās not my job. My job is to eat first and question never.
A day later, my human started acting strange. He brought out this weird stick that beeped every time it got close to my belly. BEEP BEEP. Very rude.
Next thing I know, Iām at the vet. Everyoneās staring at me like I swallowed the Hope Diamond. Then they took a weird glowing photo of my insides, and guess what? THERE IT WAS. The penny. Just chilling in my belly like it paid rent.
The vet said something about surgery. Surgery?! For one tiny coin?! I mean, yes, Iāve eaten things I shouldn'tābut surgery?
I was terrified. I mean, I act tough, but Iām a 43-pound marshmallow.
Surgery is scheduled. I'm prepped and ready for surgery. I do my best to expel the penny while everyone waits. The vetās watching, the techs keep taking me for walks.
And then⦠the miracle happened.
Letās just say⦠the penny passed. With authority. No surgery. No drama. Just one proud moment of me staring into the distance as nature took its course.
They called me a hero. Or maybe just "gross." Either way, I strutted out of that clinic a free dogāwith 99 problems, but a coin aināt one.
Iād say I learned my lessonā¦but then again...
My human brought everyone at the vet hospital a roll of pennies to remember me by. I don't think they'll ever forget. ā¤ļø