05/16/2024
Amy Skinner Horsemanship
You know how your great aunt canât be around you without commenting on your weight?
You know how your mother in law canât stop asking when youâre gonna have a baby because sheâs dying for grandchildren?
You know how your mom licks that napkin and squeezes your face while she whipes dirt off your cheek?
You know how, when you were a child, your parents brushed your hair too fast, pulled on your hair, and your feelings were dismissed? âOh youâre being such a baby!â
You know the way that family dinner is so stressful, but your aunts make amazing food- so you have the draw of the food, and the stress of the discord and passive aggressive comments? You know the pressure to have seconds, to not offend, coupled with a comment on your weight?
You know all those tiny, nitpicky, well meaning things that drive you crazy? You know how horrible the hands that fuss over you feel? You know how terrible the dissonance between whatâs said and whatâs felt is?
Theyâre made to sound like theyâre for you, but theyâre not- theyâre for the person doing them.
Donât be that guy with your horse.
Pinching, picking, constant cleaning, fussing
Nitpicking every little step
Fussing with buckles, forgetting about the horse and wrenching leather over soft, sensitize surfaces
Yelling, smacking, emotional corrections and making up for it with food
Those are not for the horse- theyâre for you.
Every touch should be for the horse.
Touch with intention
Focus on the task AND the horse
Guide, with care
Say no when you have to, without judgement or emotion
Say yes when you can, without going off the rails
Bring the horse to center
And be someone they find peace standing next to.