05/24/2024
Thank you for the unbelievable outpouring of love for our girl.
I am having a hard time responding to the messages… But I read and continue to read every one with a grateful heart. So many of you knew her… 16 years is a long time and she took me so many places and introduced me to so many people and I’ll always be grateful for the doors that she opened for me. I am keeping busy because wallowing doesn’t suit me- or help me.
So if I randomly burst into tears while we are talking for no reason, you’ll know why. And I’m blessed with such an understanding community because we all grieve for each other’s dogs, and cats, and horses like they are our own- especially when you’ve been in the business of caring for other people’s pet family for so many years…. And their time with us is never long enough, no matter how long they blessed our lives.
This morning, a dragonfly was resting on the inside of our porch railing… Just still, just resting. I like to think it was a sign …although Ky was never a sentimental dog
She wasn’t snuggly, although she often would join you for a lean in your lap and a good conversation. If she loved you - you knew.
She loved hard, fast & furiously -she was always a blur -of motion, and emotion. She had a quick temper and a wicked sense of humor. She’s the only dog I’ve ever known that laughed… actually laughed… When she was playing and happy, or galloping off leash, she would make this breathy sound with her mouth wide open… like a throaty “ha” -and it always made me smile and laugh right along with her.
Ky reminded me of fire -bright and quick, and our adventures together, almost always felt like flying too close to flames. The lessons she taught me sometimes burned, but she was still the brightest light in my life. And the biggest hurt is that I had hoped when her time came, her flame would gently flicker out on its own when it was ready, but the pain that sears me is that I (we) had to be the one to help it go out.
I know sometimes it’s the kindest thing you can do … but it’s the MOST painful decision that you question forever.
I’m going through the stages of grief… The past couple days it’s been anger. I’m angry and everything and everybody.
Hopefully that part won’t last too long… But I’ll tell you what…. I don’t think there will ever be acceptance. The will always be a little flicker of flame in my heart that burns for her. For the little dog that brought so much into my life.
I like to think that she sent the dragonfly …just to check on us. I hope it was her.
📸 Diane Lewis 🙏🏻
