12/10/2024
What does it really mean to "let them go on a good day?"
It means it will be your hardest day. It won't matter if you've never done it before, or if you're gifted a dozen good days, each good day is always the hardest one.
It means they won't know what the fuss is about, why they're getting so many treats and extra belly scratches and hugs.
It means you will second guess your decision right up to the very last moment, the very last breath. You'll second guess yourself afterwards.
They'll knicker at you when you arrive, just like any other day.
The weather, perfect. They are content. They look sound today. They are breathing well, eating well, they get up easily enough from a nap in the sun....the list goes on. Whatever issue they struggle with, today they aren't.
Today you euthanize them.
This is what going on a good day means: sending them out while they are happy, while they are healthy, while they are eating well, walking well, etc. You make the choice to do it before an emergency takes the choice away from you, before your horse has to experience any more trauma or pain.
Their last memory will be filled with love.
It'll rip your heart out every time.
We can see the patterns and the increasing trends. We can predict it a little. We can obsess over the past and worry about the future.
Fortunately, horses, all animals, live in the moment. They don't worry about those things. They aren't worried about winter. They aren't worried about July, or allergies, or progressive diseases like cushings or dsld. They don't think about the close calls they've had before, and they certainly aren't thinking about the close calls that are destined to come, as their body continues to age and break down. They just are. They are happy and healthy, or fearful and in pain, on that day, in that moment.
It is the most difficult, most loving gift we are blessed to be able to give.
And that first ice storm will come, that first deep snow, that first heat wave....and you will find a little relief, no longer doubting the choice you made.
They were happy, and safe, and loved. That is all that matters.
It is never easy. ~Kelly Meister, author
