06/20/2025
Can I get an Amen? 🙌🏻
People are discovering their emotions and that’s great….but they still don’t come before the horse’s needs
I hear nearly daily someone is discovering their neglected emotions- fear, trauma, discovering neurodivergence as an adult, and so on.
To be a well rounded person, we cannot discount who we are and we can’t shut ourselves off from the spectrum of emotions a person can have. If they have been neglected or misunderstood for a long time, it can feel overwhelming suddenly to be aware of them.
But, and I say this lovingly:
Someone’s fear does not come before the horses needs
Someone’s emotional history does not come before the horses needs
A persons need for specific comforts, routines, and manners of being does not come before the horses needs
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having emotions, but we still must remember we brought this being into our care, and they rely on us.
And so if we can’t provide the horse what they need, then we either need to seek help to attain those skills, outsource what we can’t do, or really consider if this horse is right for us.
If you’re petrified of speed and you have a horse that needs to move forward, you either need to get that horse support and learn to ride it the way it needs, or get a different horse.
Your fear is valid but the horse does not deserve that
If you can’t remember tasks or struggle to keep a schedule, you need to find a way to make regular trims (or whatever the horse needs) or outsource it to someone else.
If you’re energetic or move erratically, but it scares and doesnt serve your horse - bad news, you gotta find a way to tone it down. The horse doesn’t have to (and shouldnt have to) always adapt to everything we do
If you have trauma or emotions that are interfering with your ability to give the horse what they need that is nothing to be ashamed of - outsource it or learn it.
I can’t repair my own truck, and so I pay for that. And I rely on others for plenty of things I can’t do. I understand how my brain works and what it can and can’t do, and I manage what I need to get done through whatever resources I need to use.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of in being human, having limitations and needing help. No one can do all things perfectly.
But owning a horse is a privilege - and we don’t deserve to have them just to make ourselves feel good and find ways out of providing what they need. Sometimes what they need will come at great cost to us: financially, emotionally, physically. If we can’t provide these things, we have some figuring to do, or some choices to make.
Because it should in the end be about the HORSE above our comfort.