Walking with a Friend

11/28/2025

Imagine if you were walking down the road and a stranger ran up to you and you just had to let them do whatever they wanted without sticking up for yourself?

It's a bit unthinkable isn't it?

That's often the position we are asking dogs to be in when we try to silence their "reactive" behaviours that are actually not reactive at all, they're boundary setting.

Dogs are allowed to set boundaries. Some dogs have stricter boundaries than others. Some dogs get overtly cross when their boundaries are crossed, others get fearful. But expecting dogs to NOT have boundaries and allow absolutely everything anyone wants to do with them without push back is unrealistic.

🐾 If play gets too rough and rude, dogs are allowed to say so
🐾 If a greeting is far too fast and impolite, dogs are allowed to say so
🐾 If a human is touching a dog in a way that's making them feel threatened, dogs are allowed to say so.

The thing is, if we try to punish these boundary setting behaviours, we run the risk of making them worse. Boundary setting behaviours are controlled and appropriate to the situation. But if we try to silence them the dog may just react with more aggressive behaviour responses in a way that becomes inappropriate to the situation. For example, much more exaggerated a response, unable to control themselves, unable to have their say and move on.

Any cross words from our dogs and we immediately feel we need to apologise, they're in the wrong. But are they? Lily is one of the most gentle and friendly dogs I know. Certainly the most sociable I've ever parented! But even Lily gets cross. Even Lily has boundaries. A short sharp collection of woofs towards dogs jumping in her face too often and she moves on. That's boundary setting. That's normal.

Picture: we give our dogs boundary setting behaviours ALL THE TIME. Telling dogs to get off things, telling dogs to sit and wait, teaching a dog to walk nicely.... These are all boundary setting behaviours. We need to allow our dogs to have their own boundaries too. Boundaries aren't aggression 🐾💜

11/27/2025

As we gather around the table this Thanksgiving, it’s important to know which foods are safe for our furry friends and which ones to avoid. While some turkey and vegetables can be a treat, certain holiday favorites like grapes, onions, and casseroles are harmful to dogs. We want to share this list with our pet parents to ensure everyone has a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

Below is an article from the AMVA highlighting a few other tips, such as securing the trash can, to ensure a safe holiday. You can follow the link to view the whole article: https://www.avma.org/resources-tools/pet-owners/petcare/thanksgiving-pet-safety?os=___&ref=app

We wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

11/26/2025

Thanksgiving smells and leftovers can tempt our pets🐶🐱, but many holiday foods are risky for them. Ingredients like onions, garlic, rich fats, and sweeteners can lead to serious health issues.

Keep your pets safe by keeping harmful holiday foods out of reach.

If you want to share a small treat, safer options include plain green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, apples, pumpkin, and unseasoned, boneless turkey!

Enjoy the holiday, and keep curious paws away from the kitchen to avoid any emergencies. 🦃

11/25/2025

THE CHOICE TO CHOOSE
WHY DOGS SHOULD BE ALLOWED CHOICE

Imagine every little detail of your life is controlled - what and when you eat, where you sleep, when you’re allowed inside or outside, when you’re allowed to go for a walk and if you’re allowed to stop and sniff, who you’re allowed or forced to interact with, what activities you’re allowed to participate in, when you’re given attention, where you’re allowed to be touched etc.

This would create stress and anxiety, a feeling of helplessness, apathy, a lack of confidence and many other negative emotions. The same is true for dogs.

Dogs live in a world where just about everything is controlled by us.

Allowing choice, no matter how simple or small that choice may be, provides so many benefits.

The context and parameters in which we allow choice is obviously important.

Safety, boundaries, environmental factors, other people or animals always need to be taken into account.

A very long time ago, when my daughter was little, she would flat-out refuse to put on the set of clothes I had picked out for her.

Tantrums and stubbornness would often make us late for wherever we were going. This problem was solved by laying out 3 different sets of clothes and allowing her to choose which set she was going to wear.

These were still within my parameters and were still my choice, but by doing this I had allowed her a choice and the problem was solved, without harsh discipline or emotional fall out.

Dogs that are allowed some control over their environment and how they respond to situations are more confident, more emotionally balanced, more resilient, better able to cope with stressful situations, less anxious, less stressed and generally have fewer behaviour problems.

Look for simple, safe ways to provide more choice for your dog.

Improve their wellbeing and quality of life in a world that seeks to dominate and control.

11/25/2025

When strangers touch our dogs without consent, it can be unsettling for them—much like an unexpected touch feels to us. Dogs deserve respect and agency over their bodies. Politely guiding others to wait for the dog’s signals, like approaching willingly or leaning in, helps ensure interactions are safe and comfortable.

11/23/2025

It's not all fear.
It can certainly look like it is though.
The lunges.
The barking.
That "immediate" change you are now witnessing, it's easy to assume it's from a dog that is scared, because it "feels" fearful to us.

What else do you feel is happening?

Is this a true attempt to get closer?
This one can be difficult to read.
Some dogs move towards a trigger because it's a strategy they have learned to make the trigger move away.
It's not because they are frustrated and want to meet a new friend.
That "wanting to meet" action can be an attempt to make the trigger back off by their dogs barks and lunges.
They are trying desperately to create distance, not to have a play with their new buddy.

Then there are reactive dogs that are desperate to reach that dog they see because they want to decrease the distance.
Many times these dogs were encouraged to meet all other dogs when they were out walking.
Then they started to pull towards another dog to meet them.
Now they can't stop pulling towards them and spill over into frustration or over arousal (many times both).

Important to note with all of these, no matter what type you are working with, get a thorough veterinary check up including looking seriously at pain.
Pain is a driving force behind reactivity.
If it's not considered or looked into and it is a real and underlying reality for your dog, your progress may be very, very slow or even non existent.

I know reactivity can feel daunting.
It feels uncontrollable at times.
But if you want to make real change with your reactive dog, the much bigger picture needs to be looked at.

11/12/2025

Chilly morning❄️
Luna, Teagan and Maddie🐾🐾
Winter coats still fit❣️

10/26/2025

There are some great ways to prevent food aggression, but messing with, taking or putting your hand in your dogs food is not one of them.

The more we mess with our dogs stuff, the more likely they are to become defensive around it. Just like we might!

10/26/2025

10/23/2025

10/23/2025

No dog needs “corrections.”

Corrections don’t teach. They only scare, startle, or interrupt. At best, they suppress behavior. At worst, they damage trust.

So what do we do instead?
We learn to understand why dogs do what they do.
We get better at reading body language.
We manage their environment.
We teach them what to do instead.

It’s never about “fixing” the dog.
It’s about us doing better for them.

Need help with your dog's behavior? Schedule a session today!

10/23/2025

Please join us THIS Sat, Oct 25 at noon ET in our Welcome Home, Pup! webinar with Marnie Montgomery, PMCT4, CPDT-KA, ! 🐕

Sign up for free at YourDogsFriend.org/Webinars

Learn how to help your new pup feel safe, prioritize training skills, and develop routines.

There will be time for Q&A!