03/06/2025
Happy and content is NOT obnoxious and ill behaved….
If there’s been one constant I’ve seen over all these years of training dogs, it’s this sad reality.
Well intentioned, but misinformed owners who want their dogs to be “happy”, but don’t realize what truly makes dogs happy create precisely the opposite of their goal.
Perhaps they’ve been misguided by positive-only/force-free training professionals, or they’ve simply followed their superficial emotional compasses (this feels good to ME and my dog looks happy IN THIS MOMENT) — but wherever it comes from, these owners end up being permissive, enabling, discipline-free caretakers who create dogs who are chaotic, problematic, horribly behaved creatures with inevitably small lives.
These dogs go on fewer or no walks because their pulling and reactivity is overwhelming. They cant be taken to an outdoor cafe or coffee shop because they bark and lunge at people and dogs. They only go for rides in the car when it’s absolutely necessary because they bark and pace incessantly. They can’t go for on-leash hikes because they’re even worse in tight spaces than they are on regular walks. They have to be kenneled or locked away in another room when guests are over because they’re either too chaotic and annoying, or they’re actually dangerous. And forget about any off-leash excursions — because not only are these dogs unpredictable behavior wise, but once off-leash, they’ll be long gone, and who knows if you’ll get them back?
Some happiness.
The truth is this. Poorly behaved dogs have very small, and often very isolated lives. The stuff they most want — the stuff that truly makes them happy, is to be with you and do things with you. But their behavior (which came from your behavior) makes this happiness impossible.
On the other hand, well behaved dogs; dogs who are polite, predictable, and enjoyable, have big, included, truly happy lives. They go anywhere and everywhere with their owners, and their joy and fulfillment is obvious.
The irony of all this is that the stuff which truly makes dogs happy, and gives them access to far bigger, and included lives, is precisely the stuff so many are loathe to share. You’ve heard it all before: the rules, the structure — and yes the accountability (aka negative consequences) that makes the rules actual rules rather than suggestions, and makes the structure firm and reliable.
But that stuff makes dogs unhappy for the moment, and that momentary unhappiness makes owners unhappy. And so humans, being humans, we choose the option that creates a nice short-term feeling, but a longterm unhappiness, and we avoid the option that creates short-term discomfort but enables a longterm true happiness.
And who pays? Well, the trite response is: your dog. But the real answer is: both of you.
Discipline equals freedom, inclusion, and happiness. The lack of it creates the precise opposite. But you know that.