05/18/2025
Prouds of my buddy Alister's Adventure onna his first hunting experience. Bahahark
Now that the situation has passed, let me set the scene. 1:27am I am suddenly awoken by the tiny head of an old man dachshund slamming into my hip. The effective whining begins. I search in the complete and lovely dark for my cellphone as it doubles as my flashlight. This has become our regular routine not to be confused with our irregular routine of the very same thing, just at other various times. As I hobble in my half awake state over a large and in the way dog, the little dog settles back in. "No, sir, you got me up. So you're going out because I'm not playing that game tonight." A game that I like to call "Should Have Taken Me Out Ten Minutes Ago." It is one of his favorites, but only when I can manage to fall back asleep rather quickly. Because why let me sleep? I then make my way through the part of the house that doubles as an indoor rabbit run. It was a good day to be a lagomorph yesterday judging by the amount of hay that was tossed out onto the floor from the manger on the wall. An even better night for a certain cat as it was spread far and wide making me regret not putting shoes on. Hay. The equivalent to Legos, but for the herbivores I reside with. I set the old man weiner dog down at the top of the ramp. Whoosh! He makes his way to the bottom and he's off. Is he searching for a spot or just wandering? He doesn't even know, but what I know is that the almond milk I had before bed is encouraging me to "water my own tree" if you get my jist. As I make my way back to the porch to check on the happenings of the elderly canine, I am greeted by another dachshund. The long haired version who looks like he just arrived home from a frat party. He, half asleep himself, meanders to the front door signaling that he'd like to try his hand or lift his leg, if you will. I obliged and decided that I wasn't walking over that darn hay again. I situate my cellphone in such a way that I illuminate the area I intend to sweep while being considerate of the human flaunting his wonderful sleep habits. I begin piling up the fun that once was and start to scan the area for the accompanying dust pan. Nowhere in sight. Well I'm not sending out a search party for it at now 1:34am. I think this may be a night where I can go back to sleep. Yup, I'm feeling myself get tired. Time to go round up the German pups and head back to that glorious land of slumber. As I step on the porch, I scan the dog fence area as if I'm looking for a criminal or something to snack on in the fridge. I'm focused on my objective. There's old man in what I call the NASCAR wandering. He is in full circle mode. So I know he is ready to hit the hay. I giggle to myself because I am punny. I laugh again. I should try my hand at comedy some day perhaps. "Alister?" I come back in to grab my cell because the solar porch lights and regular porch light are not allowing me to lock eyes on my target. One strawberry blonde dachshund. I then noticed something that made my heart instantly sink. No, not that! The gate has been left open. I'm not talking just a little bit. It is fully open and there isn't a dog in sight. I rushed back to wake up that human because it was not me that had what the doctor calls a senior moment and left that darn gate open. Plus I cannot move as quickly as he can and with Alister you need speed. With flashlights and some firecrackers in hand, we are unsuccessful with locating the small absconder of bedtime justice. As soon as I say that I'm getting my truck keys we hear a bark. It is coming from a very familiar location. One that brought many a run away dog to a land of raccoons and woodchucks among other prey. "Great!" By the time I get in my truck, Trinity is at the creek. The barks have become that familiar sound of "I found something!" I sigh heavily because I am not in hunting attire and I am sure that I will not be getting back to sleep anytime soon. "Thanks Trint. Thanks Alister," runs through my mind. A part of me wonders if I should have just played the original game and stumbled myself back to bed to see if I would indeed have had to get back up in a few minutes. As I drive to the location I no longer hear barking. I do see a flashlight bouncing around as if they are having a disco party or some sort of German festival. As I put my Frontier in park Trinity emerges with Alister in hand. He looks happy. The dog not the husband. Alister let's out some barks. The one that indicates how proud of himself he is and that I, too, should be thrilled with his antics. Don't get me wrong now. A part of me is happy to see him being an ordinary dachshund doing what the breed was created to do. Just not at this hour or in this manner. As they enter the vehicle, Alister tried to give me cuddles. He is smiling ear to ear. Trinity is silent. By the time we get back in the house the dog that doubles as a speed bump has appeared in the living room. As excited as I am that she managed to get herself up on her own, I know that here we go again. By now, with a gate I made sure was not just closed, but latched as well, I take my position on the porch. Weiner dogs are secured in the building. Jump ahead to all people and pets with the exemption of our mighty hunting cat Pounce, we are all back inside. Everyone seems to make their way to a spot that doubles as a bed. Well not that original dachshund. Nope. He's drinking as if he's been in the desert for a month and a day. As I write this every single member of the furmily (that's family with fur for those that don't know) is fast asleep. Well I'm not sure about Pounce. Snores coming from rabbits, cats, dogs, and even that irksome human. Me? Oh I'm wide awake until a few minutes before Frank here is going to want to eliminate that water he just chugged. So in about an hour or so. And that is the story of Roo's first hunting excursion and why I'm still not getting sleep of more than a few hours a day. 😞 SMH Now I'm going to be the biggest gate keeper there ever was. Now to hopefully get some sleep as I am very tired.
