09/16/2025
HELP WANTED: Part Time
P**p Scooper Extraordinaire (a.k.a. Kennel Attendant)
Freed Veterinary Hospital – Hampton, VA
Listen up, two-leggers. Freed Veterinary Hospital needs a part-time human servant (oops, we mean “kennel attendant”) who isn’t afraid of bodily fluids, loud opinions from hounds, or cats that judge your every life choice.
Your Mission (Should You Choose to Accept It):
Scrub kennels until they sparkle like your grandma’s kitchen floor.
Deliver five-star room service (translation: scoop kibble, try not to spill it all over yourself).
Walk dogs who are 100% sure they’re walking you.
Survive being side-eyed by cats who think your existence is optional.
Master the art of removing hair from literally everything. Spoiler: you will fail.
The Schedule (yes, it’s weird, but so are we):
Wednesday & Thursday: 7:00 am – 5:30 pm (with a glorious 2-hour lunch because we’re classy).
Saturday & Sunday: 7:00 am – 12:00 pm AND 5:00 pm – 7:00 pm (so, yes, you get a break for brunch, a nap, or to question your life choices).
Requirements:
Show up on time. (If you can’t, the cats said “don’t bother.”)
Must tolerate drool, fur, p**p, p*e, and that one dog who screams like a dying velociraptor when you trim his nails.
Must have opposable thumbs (seriously, it helps).
Sense of humor REQUIRED. If you cry when you get dirty, please swipe left.
Benefits:
Endless cardio. Who needs a gym when you’re chasing a Chihuahua with the sp*ed of a Ferrari?
Free aromatherapy (nothing says “spa day” like Eau de Kennel).
All the puppy kisses and occasional cat slaps you could ever want.
The pride of telling people, “I clean up p**p for a living,” and watching them nod in admiration (or confusion).
To apply please click the link below:
https://forms.petdesk.com/new/dzlppx