11/06/2025
This whole "consent-based...", "bonding", "progressive" horseman-sh*t is exactly that. It's an immature, idealistic fantasy with no thought about actually helping a horse live in the human world. Of course the goal is to train and manage the horses with the least amount of stress possible, but when that is the sole focus the horse suffers.
It's not about you.
I know that we all do this horse thing because it's fun or romantic or an obsession. That's all fine. Just be aware that if you are actually trying to do right by the horse, or train the horse, or get anything done, then that time isn't about you.
I can enjoy spending time with my kids, but serve their needs above my own at the same time. Does your horse really enjoy being petted on the face? Really? Some do, but most don't.
This applies to the consent stuff as well. My horse doesn't have to actively want to load in the trailer, go to the vet, or have the farrier around. I'd prefer that he be ok about it. I'd prefer that he not fight or get stressed, but loving those things isn't required. It's normal and fine if "tolerates" is as far as some things go.
If I asked my son everyday if he wants to go to school today, and abided by his feelings, he'd never go to school. Putting them first doesn't always mean doing what they want or abiding by their feelings. Don't be so worried about their feelings or your feelings that you throw your responsibilities as a steward out the window. It's not about you. It's about serving and that means sometimes doing the thing that nobody wants to do, because it's the right thing.
