One Neigh at a Time

02/16/2025

The Insanity of Addiction & the Power of Sobriety

On the other side of addiction, you start to see life more clearly. And one of the biggest realizations? The cunning, baffling, and powerful nature of this disease.

When you’re caught in it, it’s impossible to understand the pull. I had a deep desire to stop drinking—I wanted to be healthier, to not black out, to not wake up ashamed. And yet, time and time again, I found myself stumbling, slurring my words, wasted. The insanity was thinking that this time would be different.

I went to rehab for seven days. I lasted 21 days before drinking again. Then I stopped. And of course, my mind told me, See? You stopped. That means you can control it now. So I tried to “social drink.” It worked—for a couple of weekends. Then I bought a bottle. That was the end of social drinking.

Before I knew it, I was back in the cycle. Drinking Friday, then Saturday, then Sunday. The next thing I knew, I was drinking every day until my body was shaking and craving it again. Seven days. That’s all it took to be fully addicted again. The withdrawal was unbearable. I called my doctor for help, convinced that now I really understood that I couldn’t drink. She helped me through the shakes. But it wasn’t long before I tested the waters again.

It happened so many times that the doctors stopped helping. Instead, they told me what I already knew deep down—I needed to go to rehab again.

So in February 2012, I took my last drink.

I don’t share this to encourage anyone to test their limits or prove to themselves that they can’t drink. But for me, I had to see the power of this disease firsthand. Between that first rehab in September and the final one in February, I learned just how much my mind was working against me—convincing me I could manage it, that this time would be different. I had to learn the hard way that it never would be.

But here’s what I also learned: The real pain wasn’t in sobriety—it was in drinking.

Sobriety brings a different kind of pain. Not the body pain of withdrawal, but the heart pain of facing yourself, your truth, and all the emotions you’ve been numbing. That’s why so many of us drink—to avoid feeling.

Once I got clear-headed, I had to start asking myself the real questions:

• Why do I want to stay sober?
• Why is my health important?
• What’s in it for me?
• What’s in it for the people around me?
• What is my truth?

That last one was the hardest. Because the truth wasn’t just about addiction—it was about me. The way I hid from the world. The way I drank to escape my own quietness. Alcohol let me be loud, let me feel social, let me be someone else.

But over time, sobriety became my power.

• The ability to drive if my family needed me.
• The strength to show up, fully present, for the people I love.
• The clarity to recognize the cunning, baffling pull before it drags me back in.

And then, horses changed everything.

Horses taught me to feel into my body instead of numbing it. They showed me how to rein in my emotions, find my truth, and move forward with power.

That’s the next part of my journey—the part where I finally started to heal, not just stay sober. And that’s what I want for others. To go beyond just not drinking—to actually reclaim their life.

One step, one day, one neigh at a time. ~ Kathy Slagter

SD Taking Care of Business with trainer KD Performance Horses , photo by Samantha Dawn - Equine Photography

Kathy Slagter, Master Gestaltist through dual certification in the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method.

02/05/2025

I am…

02/05/2025

Restored to Sanity – A Personal Reflection on Step Two

When I first heard the word insanity in Step Two of AA—“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”—I was offended. Was I really insane? At the time, I didn’t want to face the reality of how irrational my thinking and actions had become. I thought I was in control, but in truth, alcohol was running my life.

I didn’t just want to stop drinking—I needed to. My body was showing signs of the disease. One of the scariest symptoms was the shaking. If I didn’t have alcohol in my system, my body would quiver from the inside out. And once the shakes became visible, I knew others would see what I was desperately trying to hide. The only way to stop them? More alcohol.

Every morning, I reached for vodka—sometimes in my orange juice, sometimes just straight over ice, pretending it was water. It was my way of keeping up appearances. I knew it wasn’t a solution. I knew my body was breaking down. I knew I was sick. But I was terrified to admit out loud just how much I depended on alcohol to function. That’s the insanity of this disease: knowing it’s killing you but drinking anyway. Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

Breaking free from that cycle wasn’t easy. The physical withdrawal was brutal, and I urge anyone in active addiction to seek medical help when stopping—it can be dangerous. For me, the worst of it lasted three days. But what came next—the emotional, mental, and spiritual work—that takes a lifetime.

Addiction changes how we think, how we act, how we show up in life. It convinces us that we can’t change, that we’re too broken, too far gone. It tells us that the only way to escape the pain is to drink again. But that’s the biggest lie of all.

The truth is, we can be restored. We can change our thinking. We can find sanity. But we don’t do it alone. We do it through faith, through community, through surrendering to something greater than ourselves.

We all want instant relief. We all want to undo the damage of our past mistakes right away. But this journey happens one day at a time. If you’re struggling, know this: you don’t have to stay in the insanity of addiction. You can choose to pick up belief instead of a drink. You can find healing.

And you are not alone.
~Kathy Slagter

01/29/2025

What do you do to trudge the road to a happy Destiny ?

01/29/2025

Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny

In the Big Book of AA, we’re told we will “trudge the road of Happy Destiny.” But what does that really mean?

We all know that change is hard. Some changes come easier, while others bring deep struggle, pain, and growth. But in the end, when we learn the lessons and walk through the fire, we find joy and peace. Trudging means to keep moving forward—no matter what. Sometimes it’s slow, sometimes it feels heavy, and sometimes we have to drag ourselves forward. Other times, we pick up our feet with gratitude and grace and keep going.

Happy Destiny is about the life we are creating, the vision we hold for ourselves. Yes, we stay in the day—one day at a time—but that doesn’t mean we can’t have goals, dreams, and a purpose that excites us. Where do you want to be in a year? In five years? What makes your heart race and your palms sweat with excitement?

Early in my recovery, I learned the importance of having a vision—one that gave me goosebumps when I thought about it. My teacher, Melisa Pearce from Touched By A Horse challenged me to find that vision and hold onto it.

Some days, we trudge. Some days, we skip. Some days, we take big leaps. And some days, it’s just about taking one small step forward. But every step, no matter how small, moves us closer to a better life.

So what’s one step you can take today? What can you do right now to move toward your Happy Destiny?


SD Taking Care of Business shown by KD Performance Horses…photo by ?

01/25/2025

Stop Blaming Others: Take Back Control

Blaming others for your actions or reactions keeps you stuck in a cycle of frustration. Statements like, “They made me do it,” or, “If only they would change, I’d be happier,” hand over your power and prevent real growth.

True control comes when you take accountability for your choices, even when life feels unfair. It’s not about blaming yourself or others—it’s about breaking the cycle of insane thinking, where the same patterns repeat because nothing changes.

Are you waiting for someone else or a circumstance to fix your life? What if the real solution is changing how you respond instead?

If you’re ready to take a deep dive into your life and uncover what’s holding you back, let’s explore a new way of healing together. Reclaim your power, break free from the blame, and start building the life you deserve. Message me, Kathy Slagter, to begin your journey!

Image behind puzzle by Samantha Dawn - Equine Photography…
SD Taking Care of Business
Trained by KD Performance Horses

01/23/2025

Step One: Powerless Over Alcohol and an Unmanageable Life

Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous states, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” This step is the foundation of recovery, and it’s often a focus in January, as a fresh start invites reflection on what this step means to us personally.

When I think about Step One, it’s clear that it’s about acknowledging the loss of control. For me, that realization didn’t come easily. I spent years convincing myself that I could handle things, that I was functioning just fine. But as I began to reflect, I saw how alcohol had become the central force in my life, quietly influencing and damaging every other aspect of it.

Physically, I was sick. My body was showing the toll of my drinking—shaking, poor appetite, and a general sense of exhaustion. Emotionally and mentally, I was depleted. My relationships were falling apart because I wasn’t present for the people I loved. Family, friends, even my children—none of them were getting the attention they deserved because I was consumed by alcohol.

Spiritually, I felt lost. I had cut myself off from any sense of a higher power because I was afraid to confront what I believed. In my mind, I thought admitting to God’s presence would mean admitting I had failed, and I couldn’t handle that.

Socially, I thought I was thriving. I laughed, I partied, I surrounded myself with people who were “fun.” But in reality, I wasn’t truly connecting with anyone. My relationships were surface-level, revolving around drinking rather than meaningful conversation or connection.

Work? Let’s just say, when you’re hungover most mornings, your ability to think clearly and perform well is nonexistent. The chaos I felt in every part of my life made so much more sense when I finally admitted that alcohol was at the center of it all.

If you’re wondering whether alcohol—or another habit—is controlling your life, take a step back and ask yourself:

• How is this habit affecting my physical health?
• Are my relationships suffering because of it?
• Am I disconnected spiritually or emotionally?
• Is my work or daily routine chaotic?

Step One isn’t about shame or guilt—it’s about truth. It’s about admitting that we’ve lost control and can no longer manage our lives on our own. For me, that admission was the hardest and most freeing thing I’ve ever done. It was the first real step toward a better, more connected, and meaningful life.

If this resonates with you and you’d like to take a deeper look at your life—whether it feels out of control or you’re ready to take back your power—I’d love to help. Contact me, Kathy Slagter, to schedule sessions and begin your Recovery journey toward reclaiming control and living the life you deserve. You don’t have to do this alone.

01/13/2025

Why does pain seem to find us so easily, yet joy requires intentional effort? Pain can linger for years, while joy often goes unnoticed in the moment. Rarely do we hear someone say their life is filled with joy every day. That’s why I do the work—to find peace, let go of resentment, and stop replaying mistakes, whether mine or others’. My mind naturally clings to negativity, but joy takes practice. My job is to clear out the bad, release the negative, and replace it with the positive. Joy may not come easily, but it’s always worth the work. ~ Kathy Slagter
SD Taking Care of Business
Photo by Samantha Dawn - Equine Photography trained by KD Performance Horses

01/06/2025

Animals have been a profound part of my recovery, offering healing, connection, and inspiration. My dream is to share this gift with others and raise awareness about the incredible power of animals, nature, and the outdoors in fostering emotional and spiritual growth. Recovery is about moving forward—one day at a time, One Neigh at a Time—embracing what’s possible, and creating the best life we can.

In 2025, I’m committed to helping others break free from the boxes we unintentionally create, encouraging new perspectives, and filling our toolboxes with healthy, spiritual, and life-enhancing practices. Together, let’s explore the boundless opportunities that recovery brings and build a life filled with hope, healing, and purpose.

01/03/2025

12/29/2024

Are you Ready ?
You didn’t just get up one day and walk away from your addiction. You stayed for a long time. You let it consume you, waiting for it to give you the happiness it promised. You gave it every opportunity to fix the emptiness it created within you, and you clung to it as if it were the only thing keeping you together.

It wasn’t until you could no longer deny how miserable it made you, when you had to face the truth that it had no intention of changing or giving back what it took, that you chose to let go.

So don’t let the part of you that craves the old habits convince you that you gave up too easily. You didn’t. You stayed longer than you should have, hoping for a different result. But you left because you finally understood that the only way forward was to break free.

You didn’t give up—you chose yourself. You chose to stop waiting for something that only took from you and to start creating the life you deserve.

Choosing to change is one of the hardest and bravest decisions you will ever make. It’s not an easy path, but it’s one filled with possibility, hope, and transformation.

Are you ready to do the work? To face the discomfort and grow stronger through it?
Are you ready to change? To let go of what no longer serves you and embrace a healthier, more fulfilling life?
Are you ready to acknowledge that you need to change? To look honestly at where you are and take the first step toward where you want to be?

The journey won’t be perfect, but it will be worth it. You don’t have to do it alone, but you do have to take the first step. Are you ready?

12/27/2024

Step into the arena with a horse and bring to your awareness emotional blockages and unfinished business that may be holding you back in your lives…and leave it in the sand.

You will never forget the lessons learned from a 1200-pound horse.
- Melisa Pearce
Head to my website now
www.oneneighatatime.com
Michigan based Equine Master Gestatist

12/27/2024

As the Year Ends, It’s Time to Reflect

As the end of the year draws near, it’s natural to look ahead. What will the new year bring? What are your intentions, your resolutions, your hopes? But before we step forward, we must first look back.

What was this year like for you? What changes did you make? What progress did you see? What moments shaped your path—pushing you forward or pulling you backward? And most importantly, what lessons did this year teach you?

Have you processed those lessons, or are you still holding on to the pain, anger, or resentment they brought? Are there wounds you’re carrying into the new year, unresolved and heavy? Or are you ready to let them stay in 2024, to work through them, process them, and begin to let them go?

In recovery, we learn that unprocessed anger and resentment can bring us closer to unhealthy habits—closer to a drink, closer to self-destruction. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It means giving the pain a smaller place in our lives, one that no longer consumes us. It means making space in our hearts and bodies to fill the cracks with love, compassion, and self-respect.

This coming year, I’m offering a Zoom group to explore what it feels like to live a healthy, intentional life. Together, we’ll ask the important questions:

• What do we want for ourselves?
• What’s worth holding on to, and what can we release?
• How do we process pain, grief, anger, and worry in a way that heals rather than hurts?

Let’s learn to give love and respect to ourselves so we can give it freely to others. Let’s build lives filled with growth, peace, and purpose.

Are you ready to step into the new year lighter, freer, and more whole? Join us, and let’s do this work together.

SD Taking Care of Business
// Kathy Slagter
Photo by Samantha Dawn - Equine Photography
Training with KD Performance Horses

12/24/2024

Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day.💝i understand

💗”Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day.

Unseen, unheard but always near. Still loved, still missed and very dear.”
-Alex Maclean

💗May the memories of Christmas past, provide an opportunity of reflection and joy. Memories are a gift no one can take away from you.

Make them. Share them. Smile you created them.

🕊️Wishing you hope, peace, and happiness.

12/22/2024

Find Your Peace This Holiday Season: A Guided Meditation with the Spirit of a Horse

The holidays have a way of creeping up on us, don’t they? One moment, everything feels manageable, and the next, we’re caught up in the whirlwind of “Will I get it all done? Will everyone be happy? Do I have enough time?”

For many of us, especially those in recovery or working through personal growth, this kind of stress can lead us down unhealthy thought patterns. Suddenly, we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, doubting our progress, or thinking about old habits we’ve worked so hard to change.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Take a moment now to stop. Breathe. Feel the joy of the holidays—not the chaos, but the peace, the blessings, and the chance to spread love and light.

Here’s a meditation to help you do just that. Inspired by the spirit of a horse, it’s designed to help you regain control when your mind starts to wander into negative or destructive places.

Holiday Mindfulness Meditation: Riding Toward the Light

Begin by sitting in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, holding it for a moment before slowly releasing it through your mouth. Let your shoulders drop and feel yourself relax into the present moment.

Picture yourself on the back of a strong, steady horse.
The reins rest in your hands, soft yet firm. The air around you is crisp and cool, carrying the scents of pine, winter spices, and the earth beneath your horse’s hooves. It’s quiet, save for the rhythmic sound of your horse’s stride.

You’re moving forward, but suddenly you feel the horse begin to pick up speed, veering off course. The path ahead looks unclear—twisting, shadowed, and overwhelming.

This is what happens when your thoughts begin to spiral—rushing with fears, doubts, or unhealthy habits.

But you are in control.

Take a deep breath in. Tighten your grip on the reins and gently pull back, guiding the horse to slow down. Feel its energy soften as you bring it back to a steady rhythm.

Now, look ahead. In the distance, there’s a warm, golden light. It’s your destination: peace, joy, and balance. As you ride toward it, you feel the sun warming your face and the calm of the season filling your spirit.

Let each breath steady your pace:
Inhale—Feel the reins in your hands, your connection to the horse, your power to guide it.
Exhale—Release the tension, the doubts, the fear of “not enough.”

Remember: just as you guide your horse back to the path, you can gently steer your thoughts back toward joy, peace, and light whenever they wander into darkness.

Take one more deep breath. Feel the strength of the horse beneath you and the steady rhythm of its stride. Know that you are capable of staying on this path, no matter how wild things may seem.

When you’re ready, open your eyes.

Take this moment of peace with you into your day. Ride toward the light, and let the blessings of the season guide you.

Discover Your Calm Today

Feeling the pressure of the season? Let this meditation be your guide to a calmer, more joyful mindset. The spirit of a horse reminds us that even when life feels like it’s racing out of control, we can always take the reins and find our way back to peace. ~ Kathy Slagter
SD Taking Care of Business TC
Photo by Samantha Dawn - Equine Photography
Training KD Performance Horses