11/25/2022
Once again, from our British correspondent
Cedar Lane 11/12/22
Yes it’s time for Frito Pie again. The monkey’s usual diet is vegetation and fruit but he will make an exception for the great Frito pie of Cedar Lane !
Now we do need a bit of a preamble here. As with any horse show and the social life that goes with it the Monkey flits around here and there picking up titbits of amusement etc. Not all of what is in this report will make sense to everyone but I reckon just about everyone I met is involved somehow.
I must also report an incident that happened to the Monkey on the prior Thursday. Now the Monkey celebrated his 65th (that’s 350 in Monkey years) birthday on 10/28/22 and one of his presents from She Who Must Be obeyed (SWMBO) was a wine tasting at Hotel Zsa Zsa in Houston.
Now the 11/10 is a special date for the Monkey as it’s the anniversary of his mothers’ death. She knew she was ill and therefore made a living will and as a proud Scot one of her wishes was that both of her sons (my twin brother and I) wear the kilt on this date as do all the male kids. So it was that my brother was out with his 2 sons and mine suitable dressed. The Monkey therefore made the effort and wore his kilt to the wine tasting. Now you may or may not know a true Scotsman never wears anything under the kilt. It’s just not the correct thing to do. What the Monkey did not realise was that the chairs we sat on were made of woven cane !! As I have younger readers I will spare you the details but as the Monkey rose to use the restroom not all of him left the seat, I believe there were comments regarding the sound of Velcro !!
So it was that the Monkey found himself at BFF by 3pm on Friday. SWMBO was in full swing and it was time to load the beasts. It’s the 4 horse with Louie, U Haul. Paddy the wonder horse and the Hootster going in. As with all 4 of these loading is a breeze and it was off to Cedar Lane and Frito Pie, yippee. Normal Houston traffic made it a longer journey than it should be but SWMBO kept the Monkey amused by running through his duties at a horse show, oh how the time flew.
Into Cedar Lane to be met by the redoubtable Barbara, a legend in the horse world and another lady trainer that scare the Monkey to death ! Usual unloading nonsense which is usually just consists of each of us shouting out what we have forgotten, this time however we have everything including a wheelbarrow which was just as well as Cedar Lane’s ids still in the evidence locker for the FBI investigation of the Great wheelbarrow heist of 2021.
So as usual we have to feed the little darlings, put them to beddie-byes and make sure they are comfortable. Now as you will all know from reading these an integral part of the horse show world (for BFF any way) is where to go to dinner. This can be rather fraught and SWMBO can be a trifle picky whereas the Monkey will eat anything and usually does. It’s decided that Cisco’s will be the place and SWMBO and the Monkey are joined , by Emily, Carter, Audrey and Caroline. Now if you have not tried them before can I recommend the Mason jar Magarita and excellent and refreshing beverage. Now the Monkey will never let a line that can be used for comic effect be left hanging in mid air. So imagine my delight when on returning to the table I hear the following “oh and when I wash her udders she nickers” !!! This immediately raised several questions for the Monkey and as I was about to dive in with what I though would be a string of amusing comments I got the laser of death look from not just SWMBO but Emily and Caroline as well ! I promise I will revisit !
Friday’s 3pm start turned into Saturdays 5.45 am alarm with the Monkey being turned out os his pit at that ungodly hour. Now SWMBO had warned the Monkey that the weather was going to be a tad on the chilly side. However as the Monkey suffers from Trouserphobia (a fear of being over trousered) shorts were the order of the day and I was duly mocked by all and sundry for this decision.
We have a large group of riders with us today so in alphabetical order here they are.
Allyson
Audrey
Carter
Ella
Eva
Lisa
Maddie (Moving up for the first time)
Trent (very experienced Polo rider but new to this)
Witney
The comments are added because although I don’t tend to show individual results this was a very significant show for some of our riders.
With all the usual preparation going on it’s time for the Monkey to head for the concessions and Frito Pie ! With high anticipation the Monkey enters the concession and greets the ladies manning the food stall. “Frito Pie please” expounds the Monkey. “we don’t have it” is the reply from the concessionettes ! The Monkey is crushed beyond all recognition and it was only the promise of burgers and deer sausage that could bring the Monkey out of his fritoless coma.
As ever with Barbara and Cedar Lane the show is run with military precision and little time is wasted getting the rides done. It always astounds the monkey as to how the riders just get on with it when there must be nerves at play but everyone gave it their all. All was overseen by the attentive eyes of Kathy O’Connor of Bayview, who incidentally didn’t have a barrow either !
I know you can all check your results on some Horsey website but I will mention that the BFF junior high school team prevailed on this day. Well done to all. I must just mention the Burgers etc. All the Monkey can say is magnificent, especially the venison sausage which almost (almost)m made up for the lack of Frito pie !
Thus it is time for the dinner decision and a thumbs up is give to the Republic grille. SWMBO, and the Monkey are joined by Barbara, Rebecca and her husband John, Caroline, Morgan and the ever fragrant Rob Moyer. These dinners can sometimes get a little bit rowdy and perhaps we should not put Mr Moyer in charge of discipline but hey ho. Now generally the theme is lets humiliate the Monkey which in fairness is not difficult. However this occasion was worse than normal with Cedar Lane joining in as well. Most of it centred around the Monkey’s Kilt incident as described earlier and the Monkey being asked by Morgan to kill a pig that she was purchasing. As everyone knows that a slang mafia term for a hit is “to grease” someone. It was as the Monkey was stating the he “would grease the pig” that Mr Moyer arrived and interpreted that sentence as only he could. A great night and the Monkey fell asleep with dreams of greasy pigs eating Frito Pie!
It was not however the end of our night as a rather large an violent fight erupted outside of our hotel room at 2.45 am, police called, drama etc. Unbelievably the Monkey was not involved.
Sunday dawns bright and cold, so much so that the Monkey eschews the shorts and wears pants all the way to his paws, feels very strange to the monkey. As team captain (it says so on my BFF jacket) I always try and enthuse the team first thing in the morning. Just how much the kids have bought into the BFF ethic was demonstrated by the following exchange
Monkey – “good morning team, ready for a great day ?”
Team response - “Morning Grandpa !”
The Monkey is suitably outraged !
Sunday turns out to be a great day for BFF as individuals and a team. You will have seen previously that we have a couple of riders who have stepped up and they did great in what was new territory for them. Blue ribbons were flying every where and yet again I believe a team championship was won, well done all of you. Paddy the wonder horse was voted best horse in show as is only the due for an ex unicorn.
The nature of any competition is that there is only one first prize but I love the fact that our lot understand the team ethic and encourage each other even though they may be in the same class. The Monkey has come to understand as an outsider that Teri teaches so much more than how to ride a horse to these young riders and they will be better equipped in life because of it. You can see the same with the other trainers as well.
A huge thankyou as well to the BFF parents, we rely on your support and encouragement and you give it, Teri also appreciates that you bully the Monkey as well !
To Cedar Lane and all the others involved a heartfelt thanks for making this a great show and I am sure we will all see each other again at the up coming shows. Espescially the BFF extravaganza which I s=s incidentally being catered by the Monkey and various fathers. When I say catered this involves the various males of the group smoking briskets overnight and drinking.
So its loaded up (thanks everyone for helping) and with the sound of Barbara telling Teri “you are so beautiful (which she is) its back to BFF.
Yours in all things Horsey
Barn Monkey
