01/26/2023
"Show the horse who's boss"
Let's not beat around the bush and call this what it is, which is putting ones ego and self-importance before the needs of an animal that depends on you for pretty much everything. Going about trying to show or teach a horse who's boss really only teaches the horse that you cannot be trusted, and any attempt to communicate will be met with either being ignored, or punished. Whatever trust and confidence the horse had in you as a rider or trainer has been crushed.
We also conveniently anthropomorphize behaviors we either fail to understand or dislike as a gold plated excuse to react inappropriately and feed our egos and need (from lack of self confidence or knowledge) to be in control. It comes from the same place as the need to truss up a horse in all manner of gear and auxiliary aids to try and bypass or cover up holes in training or care.
We've all made mistakes with our horses and done things that make us feel ashamed, but the difference lies in ones ability to get beyond that. Are you a rider or owner who is actively working to try and understand your horse? If so, there is no half-step away from "showing who's boss", because it really just boils down to you either listen, or you don't. Listening only when it's convenient or only when you're in a good mood is not good practice, nor good horsemanship. Does that mean that people should be punished for missing subtle cues? Of course not, but when the knee-jerk reaction is to say "he's so quirky" or "he's always done that" or "he's having an off day", you've already made the decision that whatever the horse is trying to communicate at that moment is not important. What makes a good horseman or horsewoman is not having all of the knowledge, instead it's having the humility to set down your ego and expectations and ask "why is this happening" when presented with unwanted behaviors.