Birkdale Animal Hospital

10/31/2025

Happy Halloween. I hope you enjoy the
“Four Christmas’s , McGeough household”

02/19/2025

We wanted to give our thanks and gratitude to our favorite retiree. Igor has patrolled his last shift for Huntersville PD. He did more than 430 operations, 90 arrests, 2000 hours of training and located more things on criminals than we can post. Igor is special to all of us as he had a training accident 3 years ago which eventually led to him having his front leg amputated. He then successfully recertified to be back on patrol. We will miss his athletic ability, great demeanor (if you were in the right side of the law) and he unlimited energy. The Huntersville PD will not miss the steering wheels he ate in the squad cars, the seats he dug through, the dog housees he destroyed and the endless supply of non-destructible toys he destroyed. Join us in wishing him a retirement full of patrolling junk yards!
Mark, Sarah and all of the Birkdale team

01/10/2025

Winter weather

12/31/2024

2024 year in review

We wanted to take some time to bring you some highlights of another year in our life and what our family endured. This year we are changing it up as this may be my last year doing this. The reason….I am sharing with you all the phone apps I have created and I plan to be retired with all the profits I acquire. See you in Hawaii living next to Oprah suckers.
DISCLAIMER: Extreme sarcasm ahead with no intentions to harm/insult any race, religion, sexual orientation, color, species, or political view. Here is our top 10 from 2024:

2024 top 10 Apps I created from life experiences

1. Alarm clock app
2. Weather app.
3. Breathalyzer app
4. Budget app
5. Fashion mistake app.
6. Travel app. Heathrow no I need London
7. Resume app
8. Pet sitting app.
9. Time travel app in VR.
10. App “what to expect when expecting an adult child home”

What does this all mean?

2024 top 10 Apps I created
1. Alarm clock app . App translation: I just could not stand my college students coming home on break and sleeping through their alarms. Sounds simple but it isn’t. They sleep for hours with the alarm beeping. There could be a fire and they won’t wake. My new app. When their alarm goes off it will send stun gun like clamps to grab onto their ni***es and send 10,000 volts through them. ( you know you can milk anything with ni***es, right Focker) I am hoping that once they crap themselves and loose a bit of skin to the burn they will now wake when the iPhone goes off.
2. Weather app. App translation: I know you all are waiting for something amazing but this App will really just tell you the weather. So when your teenage son gets in the car in flip flops and no jacket when you are heading down to dinner at the sizzler at your parents place in Maine the app will have already let him know he is stupid. We all know shame doesn’t work with boys so the app will also send childhood pictures to their insta page and snap story! Maybe the ones in the tub naked at 2 with no ge***al development will help get them to look at the weather.
3. Breathalyzer App. App translation: this one is going to be my best seller. No matter what time of day (aka the “darty”), what event (aka sorority parents weekend), or what is due (aka I’m out the night before the physics exam I forgot I was going to study for) those dumb drunks will have to blow an alcohol limit 2 points below the states maximum for the car to start. This will revolutionize transportation. I thought Uber was going to it but this will. I already have RonCo looking to pick it up for an infomercial.
4. Budget app. App translation: this will be life changing for the freshman girl who has a raging case of affluenza! When she goes to swipe for the Lululemon toe socks at $197 while she currently doesn’t have gas to drive home for break the card will be declined. Maybe it will be more obvious if I say it like this. When she goes to swipe for Narragansett pumpkin ale and Boone’s farm wine with her meal card at the bookstore it will be declined with a fart like sound coming from the machine for all to hear.
5. Fashion mistake app. App translation: This will save every hair on a father’s head not to mention that throbbing vein that pops up to the right of the eyebrow. When your beloved college student prepares to leave he apartment wearing only a Christmas bow as a top, using a pillow case for her toga costume ( think throw pill size) or finds that trying to place stickers on their chest in the perfect location so as the bra is only a cover up if it gets cold this app will effectively lock all doors in her apartment. Even the roommates will be locked in so as they may join in the chastising of her when she finally puts on something that was actually planed as a shirt when it was sewn.
6. Travel app. App translation: you will never need to explain anything ever again to your sub-adult about travel when you purchase this app. You will travel in style, on time, and with only a carryon forever. Here are a few questions and situations that the app will answer/fix for you. When you child is traveling alone and is blowing up the flight attendant during take off because he is on the wrong plane and he doesn’t need to go to Heathrow he needs to get to London. How about: “dad, we all have a seat number. I’ll get on the plane when I want to. There is no rush. So relax it doesn’t leave for 15 minutes”. Or my favorite fix is that you will never have to answer any questions about why you landed in Alaska in December and there are no winter clothes in either of their 4 checked bags beside flip flops and torn shorts.
7. Resume app: App translation: this is an awesome one. It will make your future looser child look like a winner to everyone who reads their application except the one who does the hiring. my onetime dog sitting job changes to ceo of petco. My summer scooping ice cream changes to head dessert technician in charge of production. Not to be outdone, the one day I had a job at Harris teeter but never went after they told me I was hired will change to chief information officer relating to aging, Medicare, and productivity with a staff age average above 65. Although it cuts out the piece about the depends purchases for a coworker.
8. Pet sitting app. App translation: seriously it will tell your pet sitter to get the f-ing mail,scoop the litter box, take the trash out and don’t let the damn dogs chew on that. “That” can be anything that is obvious that I bought for myself and not a damn pet. And having two veterinarians didn’t help make any of the three sitters we have smart.
9. Time travel app in VR. App translation: This one is one is focused on the age group 50 and over and you’ll love it. When your privileged parasites say things like “ I am so tired I need to order grub hub” their VR set plays your life at their age. So they will see you fixing your hunger problem by making a pizza out of a stale English muffin, marinara sauce from old pasta and a slice of American cheese I had to unwrap. Here is another great example, they say “I need some me time for my personal health”. In their VR they see a high speed review of one day of your 6th grade life with the high lights of walking up hill alone to the bus, doing the presidential fitness test at school while your junk hangs out of your school issued shorts climbing up the rope. Then once your dropped back off after school you push your lawnmower down the road to mow mostly rock lawns with a few redwoods in the middle that you have to cut to get your 5 bucks. Then push the mower back home with one back wheel locked up, put food out in the dog lot, wait your turn to use the sh***er after your 4 brothers, eat you jello casserole with bird seed in it (for protein), head to your room to do your homework with your pencil then once done your dad will yell to you that you get “5 minutes of encyclopedia Britannica and lights out”. You scurry to find the old mad-lib in your backpack to erase your sisters answer and put your own in there. Then “ turn the damn light out before I beat sense into you” me time over!
10. App “what to expect when expecting an adult child home”. App translation: I thought I was done after the original book of what to expect when you’re expecting but NO. This volume hits you right where it hurts. It explains things like when your adult child comes home their bed doubles as a dinning room table/kitchen. It will get you ready for all the household work they will do like they will take your plate for you after dinner. I say “ thank you so much” and they drop those right off on the counter and head back to gaming. One of my favorites is we have a new laundry bin. It doubles as the small space directly outside the door of their room! Oh don’t worry it will also give you some amazing benefits. Like it teaches you there are 30 hours in a day. This happens because your child is online for literally 30 hours a day scrolling tick tocks with not a second to try and look for a job or to know that when they text you about where you are on Tuesday at three, cause they need entertainment, you already are prepared to tell them your at work like the last 20 years of Tuesdays.

Thank you for letting our hospital team be a part of your 2024. Sarah and I want to thank you for letting us be part of your lives and your amazing journey. We do know how special this life is and all the gifts we have been given. Being able to work on your beloved pets is our greatest gift. Our whole Staff does this work because we love the animals. May we make more memories in 2025 and I do know I am not making a dime off of my apps so I will be back at work and preparing for the next list of the highlights of life.
Happy 2025
Mark

10/31/2024

10/31/2024

It’s that time of year! The special moment when I make Sarah do Halloween stunts and take joy in making a fool of myself. So here you go!
Happy Halloween 2024. If you can handle it the video is next so keep scrolling.

04/08/2024

It took almost 20 years but finally we did it………….
We now have an Online Pharmacy.

Here is all the transparency:
1. Why now?
We have looked at this for many years but the services that did this charged such a huge percentage that the prices on the site wouldn’t have been competitive.
2. So what’s different now?
We partnered with Vetcove. They will give us the opportunity to carry almost unlimited products online and they will match CHEWY.COM prices! We now have an equal
Playing field. It will also offer compound medication. Any and all of the heartworm, flea, tick products you could want. We couldn’t be more excited
3. What’s the catch?
There isn’t one. You get on our webpage (top corner for your computer, bottom menu for your phone) and the request comes to the hospital. Same shipping times and fees depending on what you bought (free shipping is in there). Automatic refills and much more. They make their money on selling more product than just to our hospital directly. We actually have now been able to drop some of our in clinic prices with this partnership.
4. I’m happy with how I do it now, why change?
First shop local. We have been at a disadvantage against these huge firms for a long time. Second eventually there will be costs associated with online prescriptions. I don’t know when but one day before I retire we will have to. Currently we have to mange all of the files for your pets. We have to keep tract of all medications we approve and keep the records for three years. So we are doing this work for online pharmacies so they can profit. At some
Point we will stop working for them or charge for our time. Just being honest. It has to go that way I just don’t know when.
5. Any secrets we should know?
We still get great rebates and deals in the hospital so there will be times we still will be cheaper in hospital. It’s just the nature of the beast.

I hope I have answered most of the questions. I tried to capitalize all my sentences and use punctuation so you know I was serious. If you have read this far I will give you one last secret, Sarah and I are not working less hours or retiring. You all know I got three in college. I can’t stop working. Oh, and I have no ther skills than this.

Mark

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01/01/2024

2023 year in review

We wanted to take some time to bring you some highlights of another year in our life and what our family endured. DISCLAIMER: Extreme sarcasm ahead with no intentions to harm/insult any race, religion, sexual orientation, color, species, or political view. Here is our top 10 from 2023:

1. I had a meeting with Elon musk to tell him hybrids suck and his advice he gave me last year was as wise as buying twitter.
2. I lost my job as the goalie coach for the Vegas knights of the NHL, the damn year they win the Stanley cup.
3. I have been on the water all my life but never had the opportunity to see a king tide till this year.
4. I have watched enough SEC football over the years but finally figured out what a redshirt senior is and I have one!
5. I bought a $78 snicker’s bar.
6. I have my tickets to watch the jelly wrestling match between a dinosaur and cartman from south park.
7. I saw a Tylor swift concert.
8. I learned will ferrell was a genius and I got a tattoo of a cougar on my chest with the word “me” under it.
9. I became diabetic to make staying thin as I age a butt-load easier.
10. Ai wrote my year in review!

These actually happened in 2023. Let me explain what these all mean in my life.

1. I had a meeting with Elon musk to tell him hybrids suck and his advice he gave me last year was as wise as buying twitter. Translation: Last year I had a hip replacement. Got rid of the bad one and kept the good one. Well six months into the good one the other wheel went bad and I went through another hip replacement. I’m officially done with surgery for awhile, I pray!
2. I lost my job as the goalie coach for the Vegas knights of the NHL, the damn year they win the Stanley cup. Translation: When Sarah and I got married 24 years ago, trying for kids was a thing. So I thought the advice of pulling the goalie and getting pregnant was great. Who would have ever thought that would give us three kids in college at the same time at today’s ridiculous prices. I should have been thinking with my other brain more back then.
3. I have been on the water all my life but never had the opportunity to see a king tide till this year. Translation: Roll tide baby. I have one at Alabama and as you read this I still have a shot at partying in T-town cheering the natty-champs at the DZ sorority house. No matter what happens I still get the bill for it so I might as well enjoy it.
4. I have watched enough SEC football over the years but finally figured out what a redshirt senior is and I have one! Translation: you are all thinking….he has a student athlete. He has never said anything. Oh no. I have a red shirt psychology student. Just needed the extra year to perfect their skills.
5. I bought a $78 snicker’s bar. . Translation: At a self service airport kiosk I put down a week’s salary for some snacks. There was no checkout person yet I tipped , rounded up and made a donation to st Jude, needed to fill out a survey for the Dwarf Caucasian Basketball team (all of them middle age white men less than 6 feet tall) that plays for St. Peter’s church that asked for my email and a donation and finally paid 17% tax on all of it.
6. I have my tickets to watch the jelly wrestling match between a dinosaur and cartman from south park. Translation: Really, the 2024 election is Biden vs trump again. One could die in office and one may be shot in office. One looks like he is doing an impression of a naked mole rat and one looks like he was self tanning and got stuck in the booth for a week. What do we do now? Is it possible there may be a Green Party candidate that pushes an agenda of veganism!
7. I saw a Tylor swift concert. Translation: S**t I had sat down to watch a mindless night off Monday night football but instead got to see chest bumping, dance moves, and sneak pics of Taylor swift in a private box. If I didn’t want to see that I got some tight ends mom instead. What the hell happened to exaggerated testosterone dances after meaningless scoring drives. Maybe I go see that new K-pop group and be delighted to see Tom Brady back in pads.
8. I learned will Ferrell was a genius and I got a tattoo of a cougar on my chest with the word “me” under it. Translation: All I learned in life came from will Ferrell movies. Really, I raised my kids on all his messages. I learned to pray. “Dear 8 pound diaper wearing baby Jesus”. I learned to be an entrepreneur. Prestige world wide that encompassed security, research, and boating. I learned about the after life. I am going to rainbow land. Last but probably most important I learned every piece of the puzzle is important and to never give up. “I got a fever and the only prescription is more cow bell”.
9. I became diabetic to make staying thin as I age a butt-load easier. Translation. It’s officially a craze. Taking diabetic drugs to loose weight. one more easy button for people who can afford to do less while the people who are really diabetic can’t get the meds. I wish twinkes worked this well for weight loss.
10. Ai wrote my year in review! Translation: I saw AI generated applications this year along with Christmas cards, resignations, college Applications, love letters, presidential speech’s and retirement good byes. Holy crap, if only a computer could be as inappropriate and rude as I can be towards today’s society, then the world would be fixed.

Thank you for letting our hospital team be a part of your 2023. Sarah and I are human and know this crazy world has changed. We also stand by the two principles that we started this practice on; we will be present and we will be invested. We have lost a lot of people on this planted that are truly invested in what they do for others. I hope our team can continue to show you all that we love what we do and who we are doing it with and doing it for. I hope you enjoyed this break from reality while reading this and noticed I tried to use punctuation and capitalization. There is hope yet. Happy 2024.
Mark

11/24/2023

Happy Thank “you for” giving Day!
Today is a very special day. We have so many great people in our life and our practice. We know this by the overwhelming response to our Christmas Toys-for-Tots drive. We are over flowing with gifts. These will all stay in our local area. These are families we go to church with and kids our kids go to school with. It’s been so amazing that we have opened a second Christmas drive. We now have a giving tree set up in our lobby that is for Levines children’s hospital. That drive was set up by one of our clients and their children. Thank you for your giving and helping us make Christmas perfect for those who don’t have the resources this holiday season
Mark and Sarah

11/13/2023

A welcome and a goodbye!

Dr. Stephen Etter has made a life change and moved to western North Carolina with his family to pursue a new life on a homestead. He was a vital part of our team for many years. We will miss him.

Dr Asia Upchurch is joining us in a few weeks.
Dr. Upchurch is a born and raised Colorado native. She graduated from Colorado State University with her bachelor’s degree in Animal Science in 2015 and again as a “double Ram” with her degree in Veterinary Medicine in 2021.
Her interests include emergency/urgent care medicine, surgery, preventative medicine, and diagnostic ultrasound.
Outside of work, you can find her sampling local breweries, skiing back home in CO, hiking, rock climbing and watching the Broncos or at a NASCAR race on Sundays. You will usually find her accompanied by scruffy little JuneBug.

10/31/2023

Well it’s true. Sarah and I tried for a long time to hide it. People asked all the time and we avoided the answer. The media dug up some of our past and we have to come clean. I just can’t hide the fact that Sarah and I are……………..related.
I hope you all have a great Halloween

Mark

12/31/2022

2022 year in review

We wanted to take some time to bring you some highlights of another Covid year and what our family endured. DISCLAIMER: Extreme sarcasm ahead with no intentions to harm/insult any race, religion, sexual orientation, color, species, or political view. Here is our top 10 from 2022:

1. I had a meeting with Elon musk where he convinced me to go hybrid versus all electric.
2. I got arrested for trying to take all the medals at the end of the holiday 5k.
3. I awoke one morning and the sun really didn’t come up.
4. I finally saw a fight at the bus stop and enjoyed the hell out of my trip down memory lane.
5. I took Google maps and Waze apps off my phone and I went back to using a triple A triptik.
6. I planned a vacation of a lifetime then once the check cleared I got a coupon in my email for 75% off the same vacation.
7. I made the mistake of believing in Sasquatch and investing in the go fund me to find him/her/it
9. I learned a lesson in fashion. I thought that living through the 70’s I new everything about gold chains or any kind of chain in that matter
10. I learned its not what you do it’s who you are.
11. I farted in the woods and it didn’t make a noise because there was no one there to hear it.

These actually happened in 2022. Let me explain what these all mean in my life.

1. I had a meeting with Elon musk where he convinced me to go hybrid versus all electric. Translation I got old fast. It was many years in the making but I got a hip replacement. I had the opportunity to go bionic and get both hips done but Elon said to just to do one and stay hybrid. It feels great and I’m back to making the new hip great again. (MTNHGA)
2. I got arrested for trying to take all the medals at the end of the holiday 5k. Translation: I have come to the end of my tolerance for every achievement being equal. our kids have been given a medal for every sheet of paper they turn in. They now just assume they have greatness because they showed up. Let every kid know I gave up thinking I could be Michael Jordan when I was picked last in the middle school playground pick up game. No medal was given that day just an ass whooping cause I couldn’t jump.
3. I awoke one morning and the sun really didn’t come up. Translation. We place a lot of weight on experts in our American way of life. We vote for them, hire them, choose them in our life. Then one morning the current experts know more than the previous experts and we say they missed the fine print in roe versus wade. So what’s next? We tell the founding fathers they were off and the flag colors are actually beetroot, shoji white and azure tide ( all real colors. I can’t even make this crap up)
4. I finally saw a fight at the bus stop and enjoyed the hell out of my trip down memory lane. Translation one great thing that did come out of horrible tragedy was we finally made people understand that your words have consequences. Alex Jones showed us that if your a true ass and think you can say what you want there are actually ramifications for your actions. Now don’t be that person to tell me how he will get out of paying, just let me swear at him while he’s on the TV. Oh, he heard me.
5. I took Google maps and Waze apps off my phone and I went back to using a triple A triptik. Translation I budgeted for each child, 4 years in college, only to be told, “oh I had to drop a few classes so maybe it will be next year”. Are you sh****ng me. I already had a colonoscopy this year
6. I planned a vacation of a lifetime then once the check cleared I got a coupon in my email for 75% off the same vacation. Translation. I paid Sally Mae for 18 years to pay off my student loans debt then all of a sudden there was going to be debt forgiveness. I can’t say more on this as I already am balding too fast.
7. I made the mistake of believing in Sasquatch and investing in the go fund me campaign to find him/her/it: translation I bought crypto. Two things I now hate Tom Brady for; damn FTX and Gisele (I understand if you say the Bucc’s suck more so you chose them)
8. I learned a lesson in fashion. I thought that living through the 70’s I new everything about gold chains or any kind of chain in that matter: translation I leaned what the hell supply chain meant. It meant I could give you horrible service then deliver the wrong product to you and tell you it would now cost twice the regular price. I’m getting off this train and not tipping either. That’s a whole other crap popsicle…..a tip on anything I buy. I need more than a top 10.
9. I learned it’s not what you do it’s who you are. Translation:if I walked on stage and slapped another dude the security would have pistol wiped my ass as they dragged me out and gave me a side of “soap in a sock” on the back of my head. But, it’s fancy Hollywood and we can now have 6 months of why we are all emotionally scared from it. I wish that system was in place in college and I never would have gotten the warrant for harboring a swine in the city limits.
10. I farted in the woods and it didn’t make a noise because there was no one there to hear it. Translation: the queen died. Did anybody hear about it? Was she real? What was her job? Was her last name latifah?

Thank you for letting our hospital team be a part of your 2022. Sarah and I are always grateful that you let us in your lives and trust us with your kids. I do have faith that we learn from all these issues and we come out better than we went in. Life is an adventure. Thanks for letting all of us be on that crazy ride with you and your babies.
Mark