04/14/2015
I could not be prouder of my daughter, Anastasia Glass!!! Your such an amazing person! I Love you!
I had a wonderful conversation with a woman in subway today! Just as we were about to start our order, she tapped me on my shoulder and asked if Annabelle had Down Syndrome. I was a little shocked, but I nodded my head trying to think of something to say and preparing myself for whatever she might say. She gave us a HUGE smile and and asked, "Do you know how lucky you are?" and launched into a short conversation about her experiences with people similar to Belle. It was AWESOME that I could converse about the wonders of children with Down Syndrome instead of educating and defending my decision to keep her.
It wasn't until this particular conversation was over and we had gone our separate ways that I realized just how often I have to defend my choices and break boundaries by introducing them to my baby. Yes, Annabelle has DS, but no that does not change her upbringing and although I have put more care into her than a typical child, she is not that different. I still tell her no when she pulls hair and dumps her food on the ground. I still tickle her until I get the perfect childish giggles I love so much. I still let her cry on my shoulder when she gets upset. She is going to crawl when she's ready to, she's going to walk when she's ready to. I simply encourage those milestones with more physical therapy and mental engagement.
More often than not, I am asked, "Do you mourn her?" and no, I do not. Something I have not shared with very many people is that I woke up from the hospital and was delivered the news that Annabelle MIGHT have Down Syndrome and yes I cried. I cried because I was uneducated, I cried because over the following days the internet and my friends, and some family members, did not give me the correct information. One particular person kept telling me that she was going to be a child forever, and that was something my mind could not comprehend.
Now, Annabelle is fast approaching the 9-month mark, and she has exceeded beyond expectation. So, no. I don't mourn what I never had. I celebrate my gift from God: A little girl who carries more than half of me in every cell of her body.
