Paws and Play: Therapy for Kids and Families

05/02/2024

10/14/2023

Responsive Parenting Inspirations 💙

“As a parent, it’s hard to accept that you can’t protect your child from all heartache. All you can do is be the safe place they can go when their heart is broken.” J. Milburn⁣
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♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your therapist or parent journey, join us here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡

10/07/2023

Free resource

Download today

10/06/2023

Here are some deep-pressure activities via Pinterest.
We apologize there is no citation but it seemed too good not to share.

10/05/2023

SO MANY DEVELOPMENTAL BENEFITS OF SWINGING

Swinging is not only fun for all children, but it can be calming to children who struggle to regulate and help children who need sensory stimulation for learning!

10/05/2023

10/05/2023

This!

Many parents have a strong view on how to manage what they feel like is disrespect. This meme really made us think a little bit deeper about it.

06/23/2023

So hard not to react but this is why it’s so important to manage our own feelings

If a parent’s feelings get hurt by their own kid’s behavior, and the parent withholds their love from their kid or tries to match the behavior to show the kid what it feels like, it creates a very unsafe, confusing, and dysfunctional dynamic for the kid.

Bc the kid is just trying out what to do with their words and feelings and is looking for a safe space where an adult is present and regulated enough to guide them with wisdom, love, stability and values.

When a parent reacts to their kid’s behavior as if the kid is somehow supposed to know how to manage their parent’s feelings when they don’t even know how to manage their own, it can create a lot of stress and anxiety for the kid.

It’s not our kids’ responsibility to soothe our adult feelings. It’s our job to soothe theirs.

It’s problematic when parents behave as their younger selves with their children.

Adults who are led by their hurt younger selves may not respect their kids’ boundaries. They may take everything personally, they may make jokes when the child is looking for a solid emotional safe presence, or hug or roughhouse when the child has said they don’t want to be touched.

What this does is make the kid nervous around that parent. The kid worries who they’re supposed to be to get the parent’s love, and they may avoid that parent bc they don’t feel like laughing at the jokes or getting hugged just to keep the parent’s feelings from getting hurt, or, being met with defensiveness if they ask the parent not to behave that way. (“What? I was only trying to love you.”)

To me, it’s so important for parents to walk through the door as their most healed self, not as their most hurt younger self.

Because otherwise, the parent’s hurt younger self might experience their kid’s developmentally appropriate immature behavior as an attack, and punish their kid bc it hurt their feelings.

When a parent can access being a solid, available, thoughtful presence in the face of their kid’s ‘difficult’ behavior, what they’re doing is role-modeling to their kid how to be a solid, available, thoughtful presence in the face of stress.

When we can see our kid’s difficult behavior as communication, we can choose to respond: “I wanted to remind you, that no matter what, I’m here. No matter what, I’m on your side. No matter what, I’ve got your back.”

They’re already having a hard time, we don’t need to make it harder. We can go into more detail about what happened once the kid feels safe.

-JLK

06/18/2023

06/17/2023

GOD, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT ❤️
As someone who writes often, I naturally appreciate epic writing when I see it. About two years ago, I came across this written piece of art by John Roedel and it moved me deeply, so I had to share it with all of you! Not only are these words true theatre, they also act as sound advice ❤️

my brain and
heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become

eventually,
they couldn't be
in the same room
with each other

now my head and heart
share custody of me

I stay with my brain
during the week

and my heart
gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

- instead, they give me
the same note to pass
to each other every week

and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"

on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the past

and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future

they blame each
other for the
state of my life

there's been a lot
of yelling - and crying

so,

lately, I've been
spending a lot of
time with my gut

who serves as my
unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut's plush leather chair
that's always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up

last evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head

I nodded

I said I didn't know
if I could live with
either of them anymore

"my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,"
I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

"I just can't live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,"
I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

"in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,"

I was confused
- the look on my face gave it away

"if you are exhausted about
your heart's obsession with
the fixed past and your mind's focus
on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out."

this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves

and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs

I packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs

before I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said

"what took you so long?"

~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)

06/16/2023

MummyCon 💕
•
Learning this blew my mind!
It’s not that they’re not listening, it’s that they *can’t* listen 🤯
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I was getting so frustrated with all the “huhs” and “whats ” that our 4 year old was saying that I actually took her for a hearing test. And guess what....she has perfectly great hearing 🎉
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And then I learnt this.....

Until the age of 15(ish), a child cannot differentiate easily between multiple sounds. They *have* to concentrate so hard on their game, the show they’re watching, the story you’re reading that they actually cannot hear 👂🏻 what you say!

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Simple solution - get their attention by calling their name (sometimes a few times) *before* you say anything else.
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[Also, there’s no guarantee this advice will make your kids *actually* listen to you.....they can still choose not to 🤦‍♀️😂 ]

♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your therapist or parent journey, join us here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡

06/14/2023

Free Conference - Mindful Parenting and Emotional Wellness - November 10-14

06/11/2023

Thank you The Therapist Parent for this reminder.

"It can definitely feel like it, but kids aren't deliberately trying to drive us crazy. They are struggling to manage their emotions which can set off our triggers.

That is why it's helpful to work out what triggers are and work out how to manage them before your kids push those buttons.

To learn more about The Therapist Parent we recommend checking out her blog:
www.thetherapistparent.com/post/co-regulating-with-children-of-all-ages

06/09/2023

Best book ever!

Comes in ebook and paperback - see link below to get your copy NOW! Step-by-step instructions will help make what may seem insurmountable into something much simpler. This book guides you through it all:

A look at the science behind modern training techniques and why they really work.
Expert advice on basic training – sit, down, stay, come, door etiquette and loose leash walking
Addressing jumping, biting, stealing and other misbehaviors
Helping your dog become a Canine Good Citizen
Life mirrors dog training. The effort you put in now will yield you many rewards, both immediately and for years to come. https://www.pamdennison.com/product/you-can-train-your-dog-mastering-the-art-science-of-modern-dog-training/

05/29/2023

05/18/2023

This!

Love this from

05/17/2023

'When you shut down emotion, you're also affecting your immune system, your nervous system. So the repression of emotion, which is a survival strategy, then becomes a source of physiological illness later on. ' -Gabor Mate ⁣
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However, it’s not just your long-term health that can suffer if you suppress your negative emotions.

There have been numerous studies showing that when we ignore our emotions, we can experience short-term mental and physical reactions as well.⁣
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Suppressing your emotions can lead to physical stress on your body. What emotion is being suppressed does not matter, the effect is the same. ⁣
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When it comes to regulating difficult emotions, there are two ways most people respond: they act out or they suppress.

If you act out with a strong emotion like anger, you will most likely create undesirable consequences in your relationships, your work, and even your play.

The ripple effects of acting out usually provoke more anger around you, which leads to more difficulty.

The consequences of suppressing those big emotions can be even more dangerous. ⁣

What many people aren’t aware of is that there’s another way to regulate our emotions: Feel the feeling in real time. ⁣
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On one level, emotions are like energy waves, varying in shape and intensity, just like ocean waves. Their nature is to arise and pass away pretty quickly, like all natural phenomena.⁣
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Ironically, efforts to “talk yourself out of your emotions” often results in “increased rumination and perseveration.” In other words, you will keep thinking about and holding onto those emotions you’re trying to avoid.⁣
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Research into emotional regulation suggests that mindfulness-based interventions can be helpful.

Particularly focus on feeling the emotion and practicing forgiveness, compassion, and kindness at the same time. ⁣
- Mily Gomez
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