04/21/2021
An open letter to my mistake horse
Sometimes I regret the day I met you. You took my life and turned it on its head, pushed me to every imaginable limit and then a little bit further. You gave me sleepless nights and more stress and worry than I ever thought I could handle. You were the horse I never meant to fall in love with, you were my mistake horse.
You tried my patience daily. The way you’d always push the stable door to see if I’d left it open so you could take yourself to the field, or the way you used to wait until I was just inches from catching you before spinning around and galloping off squealing and bucking...if horses could laugh, you’d have been howling.
You pushed me to breaking point as a rider. One day you’d sail round a course of fences and give me a glimpse of just how talented you were and the next you’d regress to your unbacked three year old mode and be unable to walk in a straight line without spooking/bucking/spinning/generally losing your mind.
You forced me to become a better person. I wasn’t a bad person to start with, but you made me take a long, hard look at myself. You made me learn to leave my emotions at the gate, to be patient, to persevere and to know when to walk away. It hurt like hell, but every ride was an invaluable lesson.
You taught me control, in more ways than one. Riding you was like looking into a mirror, whatever I bought to the table in the arena, you’d serve straight back to me. If I was frustrated, you’d be ready for a fight. If I wasn’t focussed, you’d be distracted by the smallest thing. Even when everything was just right, you didn’t magically become perfect, but you’d try your best to be.
Above all, you taught me that you cannot chose your race, but you can chose how you run it. There were so many days I wanted to throw the reins and give up, so many days I sat in tears wondering why our paths had to cross, but then you’d give me a glimpse of something so special and make me want to try again, you made me want to be the best rider I could be.
So I call you my mistake horse. The horse I never meant to fall in love with, but did. The horse that taught me the hardest lessons, that pushed me, that tested me. The horse that made me better in so many ways.
Here’s to you, the best mistake I ever made.
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