
05/05/2025
A boss I had once made a strange and startling admission.
“You can’t imagine how many life decisions I’ve made after asking myself, ‘What if the zombie apocalypse happens?’”
He was a good guy and we had an easy way, so I admitted – only half jokingly – to a similar reason for why we have a machete propped beside the fireplace.
Eventually we wrapped up the bizarre conversation with a sensible, concluding remark:
“Being prepared is no bad thing, even for those very unlikely situations.”
Then some years later, that memory rose from the dead and gnashed its teeth as it stalked after me.
It happened each evening when I’d take our German Shepherd Moxie out for a walk and we’d stop by the small grocery on the way home.
I’d walk out with my cheese or produce in another plastic bag and roll my eyes at this absurd thought:
‘Am I really better prepared for the zombie apocalypse than for Moxie’s daily walk?’
The plastic bags piled under the kitchen sink faster than we could use them to line waste baskets.
So, I decided that buying a tote bag each time would be the act of penance I needed to learn my lesson.
Except soon the pantry was also bursting with once-used totes.
So if you ask what we were thinking about when soon thereafter we created a lightweight grocery tote that rolls into a stuff sack and clips to Moxie’s leash?
I’ll make this strange and startling admission:
Yes, it was the zombie apocalypse.
The graveyard of undead plastic bags under the sink and horde of zombie tote sacks in our pantry.