08/25/2025
🚨 ADOPTION ALERT: SURI THE SQUISHY ALLIGATOR 🚨
(Warning: May come for your knees. Or your front teeth. No one’s safe. No regrets.)
Looking for a dog with subtlety, grace, and gentle manners?
Keep scrolling.
But if you’ve been craving a gremlin-charged, cannonball-shaped chaos muffin who flies at you like a drunk linebacker in a tutu—
Meet SURI.
🐊 Breed: English Bulldog (allegedly)
🎂 Age: Young and powered by vibes
⚡️ Energy Level: Somewhere between “kid at a birthday party” and “wrecking ball on meth”
🦷 Dental Status: May or may not be responsible for a missing incisor or two. Hers? Yours? WHO’S TO SAY.
🦴 Good with dogs: If they can handle WWE-style greetings
💥 Good with fragile people or furniture? Not unless they’re insured.
Suri gets excited the way most dogs dream about—by launching her compact body into your legs like she’s been shot out of a cannon.
She’s been known to take out knees, knock over grown men, and—allegedly—clip someone’s front tooth. (It was loose anyway. You’re welcome, Chad.)
She’s crate trained, house trained, and believes “sit” is just a suggestion if she’s not mid-zoomie.
Loves snacks, cuddles like a furnace, and snores like an idling Harley.
📝 If you’ve got strong joints, a sense of humor, and a willingness to live like you’re on a live-action game show every day—
Apply for Suri.
She’s short. She’s spunky. She’s possibly a living cartoon.
And she’s not here to play it safe.
