09/15/2024
Do you feel like you are being judged? Are you being bullied?
In the dog world, there are so many opinions. Everyone seems to know the best way for you to raise and handle your dog. The funny thing is, no one lives with you. No one walks in your shoes every day. Because there is so much judgment, we all end up being afraid to use training tools, or even correct our pup in public.
When someone calls to inquire about dog training, or just ask a dog question, I always get a brief history of the dog and the things that have been tried in the past. Sometimes, it takes a little digging to get all of the information. There is a blanket concern that I will judge, like everyone else. The thing is, I never Judge! I am here to help, no matter what has or hasn’t been done in the past, I do my best to help.
I have a client that called several months ago, with a young, very high drive, dog. My client was very active with the dog. The dog was enrolled in agility training, and had worked with other trainers. My client was having a couple of serious problems. One of the problems was guarding. If the pup had a toy or a bone, no one could get close, without fear of a bite. The second was dog reactivity. At the agility course, very little was getting accomplished. Each time a dog would go out on the course, or even get in sight, this pup would act like a crazed beast. This client had previously had several large breed dogs, but none with this type of drive. The agility instructor forbid any kind of consequential training tools. My client was told to redirect the pup with treats. If you have ever owned a reactive dog, I don’t have to tell you how that ended. The most frustrating thing to the client, was the number of people that had a “helpful” opinion, not knowing what she was going through. This behavior was not only scary, it was quite embarrassing.
In our first session, we introduced structure and correction. We made a huge dent in the guarding behavior and began to work on the leash reactivity. My client really wanted to have a dog that competed in sports events. I suggested that my client try a dog sport that suited the dog a little better. My client got connected and went for it. We had one more session and my client was good to go.
Now, a few months have passed. I get another call, from this client, asking for help. Although things overall have gotten better, the leash reactivity still needs much work. Another problem is focus. The dog will not focus on my client. Again, the frustration lies in other people knowing what is best for my client and her pup. So many opinions came in, that it was impossible to separate the helpful, for the hurtful.
I said all of that just to say this; No one knows your dog better than you. Only you know what needs to be changed. No one that is giving you advice is experiencing the frustration, anger, and embarrassment, that you are. Everyone has a solution or an opinion, but not all of these are good for you. Hear what they say, but let it roll off your back. Find someone who really knows. How can you be certain that they know? Look at their work! If someone can’t show you, by a past example, then you should probably move on. With social media, it is almost impossible to hide if you do bad work. If a trainer, or any business for that matter, has a social media account with the reviews turned off, I ask myself why. I usually won’t use that person or business.
Always, keep in mind that every dog is different. You very well may need to take direction from a couple different sources to get the results you want. I, for example, still work with trainers. It is impossible to see how my dogs are responding, while I am training them. There are also different trainers, that specialize in different things. Just like professional athletes use trainers, so should professional dog trainers. When trainers give me advise and direction, I look at the big picture. I pick out the things that, I think will work for me, and I put the rest on a shelf, to maybe use for later. If a trainer ever suggest anything, or does anything that will harm your dog, walk, NO run away! It isn’t a time to be courteous and polite. It is time to LEAVE! Your dog should respond to a correction with focus, not fear. I hear horror stories about trainers, and horrible techniques and advice. When I ask people why they stayed, almost every time the answer is, "I don’t know", and "I didn’t want to be rude". If you aren’t comfortable with a training technique or protocol, then stop everything. Have the trainer explain and show you what is going on, the process, as well as, the expected outcome. If you are still uncomfortable, then don’t move forward. Ask for an alternative training method. There are so many ways that you can get to your goal. Explore your options until you find the one with which you are most comfortable.
Lastly, don’t be bullied! Do what is best for you and your dog. If you have made training mistakes in the past, whether it be under or over correcting, it is ok! Move on! Seek out qualified professionals, not opinionated dog owners! If someone is telling you all of the things that you have done wrong, then move on. You want someone that will show you how to move forward, not judge you for the mistakes you made! Look at the track record of the person that is giving you the advice. Ask for proof! Yes, I said it, Proof! Always say, Show me. Any reputable trainer will be happy to show you his or her work. A reputable trainer will also be quick to tell you that they don’t know, but are willing to work with you to try and find an answer. Be sure to stay the course. You may only see small gains, but it will get better over time.
