09/18/2025
If we had the driveways I bet Wally could get trained to do this!😂💗
So I roll into this farm in North Dakota to deliver a grain bagger. Place is massive. Roads everywhere. Houses, barns, shops... basically a whole city but with tractors instead of traffic lights. I call the farmer and say, “Hey, I’m at your main entrance but I got no idea where the hell to go.”
Farmer goes, “Oh crap, you’re here already. I’m busy, so I’ll send my dog.”
Me: “...your dog??”
Farmer: “Yes sir. He’ll bring you right to the shop.”
Couple minutes later this dog comes flying out of nowhere, pulls up to my driver’s side door barking his head off. I roll the window down like, “Alright Lassie, what is it? Timmy in the well again?” Dog barks once, turns, and bolts down the road. Every hundred feet he looks back, barks, then keeps going.
So now I’m in a semi truck following a farm dog through a maze of barns and dirt roads like it’s the world’s most redneck GPS. Left turn. Right turn. Zigzag through a field. At this point I’m wondering if he actually knows where we’re going or if I’m about to end up abandoned in some cornfield with Scooby Doo laughing his ass off.
Sure enough, boom... there’s the farmer with his tractor. Dog trots over like, “Mission complete.” Farmer hands me a dog treat and says, “Give that to him. Thank him for bringing you.”
Apparently this happens all the time. Guy just sends his dog to fetch truckers and lead them to whichever shop he wants.
Best damn day of my week. Also... if your farm dog isn’t trained to guide semis like a four-legged Uber driver, are you even farming?
And as always this post is proudly sponsored by
Ruff GPS — because screw Garmin, just bark louder
E-I-E-I-O Taxi Service — now offering left turns, right turns, and the occasional cornfield detour
Bark Directions — “recalculating route” means the squirrel ran by
