01/09/2026
Movement Through Play
As my training begins to look like insanity, it’s worth saying this plainly:
I didn’t build the engine by slamming the pedal to the floor.
I had to humble myself to where I was. I struggled to develop discipline. I missed days. I doubted the plan. And then, somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to train and started to simply exist inside the movements.
Walking. Riding. Carrying weight. Breathing.
No theatrics. No heroics. Just showing up and letting the body learn again.
This philosophy mirrors how I train dogs and how I move through my days. I don’t force outcomes—I create environments where progress becomes inevitable. Repetition without panic. Effort without chaos. Play, not punishment.
The last four days are a good example.
The past three days were spent under the weight of my ruck, slowly accumulating five miles a day. Nothing rushed. Just presence under load—letting the body remember how to carry itself.
Today shifted shape.
Fifteen miles on the bike, broken into three quiet sessions.
Five miles walking, no weight, just moving because movement felt right.
None of it was forced. None of it was chased.
Yes, it’s a lot of effort.
Yes, I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow because I’m on E.
And yes, I still wrestle with the brutality of my own inner voice.
But this isn’t burnout. It’s alignment.
There’s a difference between grinding yourself into dust and allowing work to shape you. Play doesn’t mean easy—it means sustainable. It means curiosity instead of fear. It means trusting that consistency, not intensity, is what builds something that lasts.
This is how I’ve always trained dogs. This is how I’m learning to train myself. You don’t dominate the process—you cooperate with it. You give the nervous system room to trust. You let adaptation arrive instead of demanding it.
What looks unstructured is often deeply intentional.
What looks easy is usually earned.
And when the head finally hits the pillow and sleep comes instantly, that’s not collapse—that’s the body saying:
Yes. This works but we have the capacity to carry it and then some.