Arrive Dog Training

07/07/2025

Are there other components?

Of course.

Play, affection, exercise. But these are all enjoyable and rewarding for the human — so you don’t need me or any other trainer to remind you to do this stuff. You’ll happily do it without anyone nagging you.

But, the other stuff? The rules, the structure, the accountability? Bleh.

This stuff is no fun. In fact, it’s often emotionally uncomfortable. And so it gets placed in the very back of the mind’s priority list.

Which means the dog’s needs get the usual out of balance treatment.

Our dogs get the play, affection, and exercise — aka, the soft, fun, sweet stuff, and little to none of the other stuff that balances them and your relationship out. Which means owners get the usual out of balance dog behavior, AND as a special bonus they get the usual out of balance relationship dynamics… which only serves to exacerbate their dog’s behavior issues.

You see, it’s a double pronged undermining. You not only withhold the essential stuff that helps your dog share their best, you also teach your dog that you’re a doormat to be walked upon.

And I’m sure you can see where that all ends up. It ends up with you sitting on mine, or another trainer’s couch, terribly upset and overwhelmed by your dog’s unexplainable behavior, explaining how unpleasant and unbearable life has become.

Which leads me back to the reason you hear smart trainers always promoting the same tired old rules, structure, accountability stuff. Because it’s the same tired old stuff we see derailing dog after dog after dog. And we’re hoping that maybe just maybe, that this time perhaps another one of you will hear it, process it, and actually run with it. 🙏

07/07/2025

Be sure the one holding the leash is doing the training. 😉

06/07/2025

The dog training world isn’t short on nonsense. One of the major nonsensical assertions is that if you have to rely on tools then your dog isn’t trained.

The argument behind this should make anyone who actually knows dogs, and who’s honest, giggle. The argument posits that if you’ve trained your dog what to do, and reinforced what you trained patiently, consistently, and competently… your dog will always listen and will simply do what it’s been taught.

Knowing = doing. Period.

Which means your dog will never find itself torn between what it knows it should do and what it would prefer to do. It will never break place and charge the front door when a guest arrives, because you’ve taught it to hold place no matter what. And your dog will never be off-leash and ignore your recall command when that bunny or enticing dog shows up, because you’ve taught your dog to come back no matter what. And your dog will definitely never blow up at that maniacal Chihuahua straining to get a piece of your best friend, because you’ve taught your dog to ignore naughty monsters on walks no matter what.

Hahahaha…

Just like you and that speed limit. You’d never break that clearly explained and clearly understood law/rule. You’d never be in such a rush that it would damage your “knowing.” You’d never be enticed by the thrill of some extra speed that you’d “forget” the rules. And you’d never just truly innocently forget the speed limit and careen through a 25 zone at 45 because you were distracted by life. Nah.

We don’t use e-collars as a shortcut, quick-fix, or crutch — we use them because we don’t deny reality. We give our dogs the full credit of having conflicting motivations, desires, and brains that can simply get lost in the noise of the moment… just like you.

Any sensible, honest, reality-aligned person knows all too well that knowing and doing are two very different things. Which is why we unapologetically use tools that help dogs (and owners) enjoy the greatest: quality of life, amount of freedom, and degree of safety.

Because everyone “forgets” occasionally. 😉

TLDR: “You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” -AR

07/06/2025

The most challenging, and often disappointing cases we’ve worked with haven’t been problematic due to owners not being able to dial in their tone, timing, and overall training mechanics. Although they might claim these are the obstacles.

No. The most common cause for training failure is the emotional component that is often running unconsciously behind the scenes.

Dogs who are filling emotional gaps as surrogate infants, children, friends, family, and partners are dogs whose owners are almost certainly going to find obstacle after obstacle to sharing the necessary leadership, rules, and accountability which successful dog training necessitates.

Which is why if you’re struggling with your dog, before you hire a trainer, be sure to do a deep dive on who and what your dog truly represents to you. Let the defenses and rationalizations go — as difficult and painful as that process might be — and get to the true, raw, emotional bottom of things.

Once you get a solid and healthy handle on this aspect of your life with your dog, the training part, by comparison, will be a breeze. :)

30/05/2025

29/05/2025

When it comes to dealing with behavior issues, there’s an endless amount of conflicting and confusing information.

Owners are bombarded with a multitude of nonsensical advice. They have to:
-First get to and understand the root emotional cause before taking action.
-Catch the dog doing the right thing and reward it, but don’t dare punish the wrong thing.
-Teach an incompatible behavior, and once again avoid any direct action towards the undesired behavior.
-Redirect the dog, rather than simply direct the dog. (Another version of teaching an incompatible behavior.)

What do all of these have in common? They never actually pause/stop/curtail the problem behavior, they simply dance around it. Which, in case you didn’t know, is the whole point. The dog training industry is hyper-fixated on how do we make everything feel good — for the dog and for us.

Which then means “dancing” around addressing the actual issues is the overwhelming norm. Which then means, you, the owner, never get the results you desire, because you’ve never been taught how to make space for those results to take root and grow. (Because that’s “mean”.)

Folks, this stuff is so simple. You simply have to tune out the noise and tune in your common sense.

If you look at the unwanted, unhealthy behaviors your dog engages in, and you then commit to punishing them properly — when they occur — you’ll stop or tremendously lessen the behavior, which will then create space for your dog to develop new, better, healthier habits and actions.

And here’s the part that causes everyone to unravel: it doesn’t matter where the behavior is coming from. Whether it’s from excitement, frustration, aggression, and yes, even fear.

By first stopping, or “pressing pause” on the behavior, you open your dog’s mind up to being able to reevaluate their response. They get a mental “breath” where they can skip the “See, feel, explode” cycle that reinforces the problem behavior, and with your help, they can find the neutral emotional space where they can begin to develop the behavioral responses you desire.

It’s really that simple. First stop the problem behavior, which then allows your dog to experience the world from a neutral emotional space; a space where behavioral possibilities are limitless.

Or you can keep dancing, and struggling — because as long as the problem behavior continues, your dog will never have the space to create anything better.

PS, for those bristling at the “P” word, remember, the term punishment is being used in the context of operant conditioning. If you’re unfamiliar, please look it up before throwing a fit. 🙂

29/05/2025

First off, I don’t want this to be received in a harsh fashion. It’s meant to be a loving kick in the rear and a reality check.

You are living through the golden age of dog training.

There’s more free in-depth content, more skilled trainers, and more program options at all price points… than ever before.

When I started out in 2004 on my own journey to resolve my terrible twosome’s behavior issues (severe reactivity, severe dog aggression, severe separation anxiety, general chaos), there was next to nothing available. Although launched in 2004, Facebook didn’t become a “thing” until 2006, and it would take years for it to get its dog training feet under it. Same with YouTube. And Instagram wasn’t even a twinkle in its creator’s eyes yet.

What did I have? The library (remember that thing?), book stores (when I had the money), some extremely vague written out e-collar protocols online, and a yahoo email group with some established and some up and coming trainers. Later I found some dvd tutorials, but that was a while down the road.

Anything I wanted to know I had to work my buns off to find, sift through, apply, and then see what was and wasn’t effective/helpful. And while I know this might sound like “When I was a kid we walked a thousand miles through the snow, uphill, both ways to school!” — lol, but I’m trying to illustrate a point…

You guys got it good!

Yeah, I know the usual response argument. “There’s too much!”, “It’s overwhelming!”, “I can’t make heads or tails of who to trust!”

Trust me, that’s a good problem to have. It means you’ve got a too much issue, which simply means you have to do the work to sift through more stuff — but try having a too little (or none) issue. I promise you’d take former over the latter every time.

The upshot? It’s what the original post graphic says. If you’re still struggling and haven’t found help, that’s a priority issue, not a dog behavior issue.

So get out there. Go do the sifting. There’s tons of great trainers giving away gobs of great stuff. And plenty more who would be happy to help you hands-on for the appropriate price. There’s no excuse that can be exercised except laziness.

19/04/2025

I see so many owners getting caught up in excessive and unhelpful rumination about their dog’s behavior — where it’s coming from, why it’s happening, and what they should or shouldn’t do about it.

This causes many to miss critical moments where they could be offering helpful feedback to their dogs; making profound improvements to their behavior and enhancing overall relationship dynamics.

The “Behavioral Decision Making Matrix” is a simple guide for those who find themselves getting caught up (frozen) in the many questions their mind’s present when their dog does *something* they have feelings about, but are unsure how to proceed, and it enables them to quickly make evaluations, decisions, find clarity, and take action if needed.

A few things to clarify.

When I say is the behavior “healthy”, that means is the behavior healthy for all involved? That means you, the world your dog will interact with, and your dog itself. You’ll have to do the work (emotionally and intellectually) to ensure your version of healthy is actually that — and best to figure this out in advance.

When I say is the behavior “desired”, that means by you. Yes, you will have to take responsibility for determining what is desired, and you will often have to deny your dog what they desire in order to best serve them and you and everyone else. Someone has to be the arbiter of what is and isn’t desired, and that’s a job best taken on by the human. This doesn’t mean become a tyrant and the destroyer of all that is enjoyable, but it does mean you’re entitled and responsible for making this decision.

As for allowing, disallowing, reward, and punishment, a few things. Often allowing is more than enough for a behavior (positive or negative) to be reinforced, with or without reward. Also, there are many times when actual rewards are not only unnecessary, but also overkill and counterproductive — and there are times when actually rewarding is very helpful. As for punishment, I’m using the operant conditioning definition, so don’t let your emotions get you rankled. Look it up if you don’t know.

Hope this helps. :)

08/04/2025

Okay, now before freaking out, breathe…

I know many will be scrambling for their phones to panic dial 911 for their sudden coronary issues, but if you can get through the text, I promise you’ll be okay. 🙂

State of Mind training isn’t about snappy or flashy obedience. It’s not about speed of reaction or how many commands your dog knows — it’s simply about helping dogs who seriously struggle with relaxation, calmness, and having an off-switch, and who default to chaos, anxiety, and uncomfortable brains and bodies. These are dogs with deregulated nervous systems — which are the kind of dogs we see suffering (along with their owners) on the daily.

If the above doesn’t apply to you or your dog or your clients, please skip this post. It’s not for you. But, if this does ring some all too familiar bells, I encourage you to at least try what I have listed here before making any judgements. This list (which is only a partial list) is the byproduct of many, many years of looking to find ways to help dogs who are struggling living chaotic, anxious, stressed out lives.

1/ Creates the “Off-Switch”.
2/ Trains a calm mindset in challenging, arousal-inducing environments (90/10 is a rough outline of 90% structured walk and 10% sniff/potty time on your release. Bonus points/benefits for walking slow!)
3/ So many miss this. It’s crucial, complete turn-off time and helps your dog’s mind and body detox and heal. Trust me!
4/ This ensures both spots create maximum relaxation and peace.
5/ So many allow unhealthy behaviors which are symptomatic of unhealthy mindsets. Don’t make this mistake.
6/ This is reserved for the serious anxiety cases, and is incredibly effective/helpful for them.
7/ These are common auto-pilot moments that encourage impulsive, aroused, pushy, behavior.
8/ Constant verbal inputs create neurotic dogs.
9/ Constant physical inputs create neurotic dogs.
10/ I know out of all of these this one will cause the most consternation and outrage. Once again, before you freak out, try it. Both food and overly-excited interactions FOR THESE KINDS OF DOGS will exacerbate the issues you’re wanting to resolve.
11/ You have to address the unhealthy stuff to make room for the healthy stuff.
12/ Many dogs will obsessively lick, scratch, pace, whine, circle, self-mutilate. You have to correct this to break the toxic patterns.

That’s it. If you DO have a dog who struggles to be calm, relaxed, and at ease in the world, give this list a try for a month and see what you get. You won’t do any harm, and you just might be shocked what you find.

PS, I didn’t include healthy exercise, play, and affection, because these items are almost never what’s missing from the lives of dogs like this — this stuff comes natural to owners, AND because this stuff is touted by almost everyone in the training world whereas what I’ve shared isn’t.

PPS, If you feel compelled to disagree and share in great detail precisely why I’m incorrect, just know I’ll delete your comment. I’m not soliciting critical feedback here, I’m sharing personal experience with many thousands of these very specific kinds of dogs. You’re of course more than welcome to post whatever you believe on the pages and platforms you’ve created. Lastly, if you have any honest, good faith questions or would like clarification, feel free to ask. I will do my best. ❤️

29/03/2025

While there’s plenty of folks who will happily tell you no such thing is needed, and your heart will happily agree with them, reality doesn’t much care about those pedaling falsehoods, or your emotional preferences.

We can continue to go down this road of denial and delusion, but I promise you you’ll only end up deeper in the struggle—and so will your dog.

There’s a reason any honest and knowledgeable trainer can typically stop most of the unwanted behaviors that are making your life miserable; and do so close to immediately—because they’re not enveloped in denial or delusion. Sure they have more skills and knowledge, but their primary advantage is a firm grasp on reality and an unwillingness to dance around it.

And a large part of that embrace of reality is the embrace of skillfully applied, emotionally neutral punishment. Of course they teach the other stuff—the behaviors you DO want—but that’s easy…both to do and to talk about. Punishment is the elephant in the room; the elephant very few want to look squarely in the eyes.

That all said, it’s your life and your call. You get to do this dog training and dog-living-with thing however you want. But from where I stand, and from the dogs and owners I see who are both struggling and miserable and in need of help, the avoidance of that which can transform all this struggle and misery is both selfish and emotionally immature.

Choosing to bring a dog into your life SHOULD mean choosing to do all that is beneficial for them, including—perhaps especially including—that which is difficult, uncomfortable, and emotionally challenging.

29/03/2025

We all know the definition of insanity, but when it comes to training our dogs and dealing with behavior issues, I watch owner after owner fall into doing the “insane” thing… continuously repeating the same no-results-delivering stuff and hoping for a better result.

Here’s the thing. If engaging in positive-only training approaches created the desired results owners are desperate for, I wouldn’t be writing this post, and thousands upon thousands of balanced trainers wouldn’t be in thriving businesses

So many of you have allowed your common sense and your personal life experiences and observations of how reality actually works… to be hijacked. You’ve actually allowed yourself to be re-programmed by those who use emotional manipulation; the promises of never having to experience anything emotionally challenging (for you and your dog); and being the kinder more virtuous, more sophisticated, more science-based, more humane owner — even though somewhere, deep down, you know it’s all bu****it.

But you buy it because you want it to be true. Like the “Make a million dollars in a week without any risk or effort.”, “Or get that flat tummy and perfect butt in 7 days, without dieting or exercise!” We all know this stuff is nonsense, (God i hope so!) but we often still get pulled into stuff we know simply isn’t possible, but because it’s so appealing we suspend disbelief.

Owners are told, but they also critically want to believe, that they can just love, praise, and reward their way out of their dog’s issues — and it’ll all be great.

Except, as we all keep seeing over and over — it’s anything but great.

This is your reality wake up call. You know that negative consequences, and the awareness of their possible application, have had a huge impact on your own behavior, as well as all those around you. You know it doesn’t destroy you, it informs, reminds, and corrects you. It often times is the only thing that has saved you from making truly terrible mistakes — or, at least saved you from putting them on repeat.

So if you’re struggling with your dog, and you’ve been trying an all positive approach, before you exclaim to the world how you’ve tried everything, just take a breath and check in with the fact that you’ve done nothing of the sort.

What you’ve done is the “insanity” part — in two ways: 1/ you’ve repeatedly engaged in a training approach which hasn’t delivered the promised results, and you’ve ignored that reality. And 2/ you agreed to invest time, money, and hope into a training approach that you know deep down doesn’t align with the reality of your own personal experience of life.

So when you’re *truly* ready to make something positive happen, it’s time to pull on our big boy and big girls pants and embrace the fact that if we’re going to create a healthy and harmonious life with our dogs, we need to share clearly not only what we want, but critically also what we don’t want. And that second part is only going to be achieved by sharing something — gasp — that is negative. Something that makes engaging in the behavior unpleasant, uncomfortable, unrewarding.

Or not. Totally up to you. We all get to choose whether we prefer a difficult reality and all it has offer, or an easy fantasy and all it has to rob us of.