Arrive Dog Training

09/17/2025

So many behaviors that get fancy, complex names/behaviors/causes ascribed to them, are simply the logical fallout of dogs not being given the proper boundaries and the self-awareness that comes from realizing that their least-best tendencies and choices won’t be tolerated.

Reactivity on walks, going bananas when guests arrive, guarding food/space/people/objects, separation anxiety, correcting humans for disapproved of trespasses… are often dogs who simply don’t understand that there are rules and standards and that they will be held to them.

And so they just do whatever strikes their fancy, or their anxiety, or their fears. Which is the logical reaction to a leadership vacuum.

Strangely, before we’ve even start the “official” training and have yet to address any of the client’s list of behavior issues directly… the majority of these problem behaviors “magically” disappear.

Of course this “magic” is simply the creation of clear and healthy social dynamics (humans lead, dogs follow), which causes dogs to become “self-aware”, meaning they realize their behaviors have consequences attached to them, and then, with this critical insight, these clever creatures miraculously start making all kinds of better, healthier decisions… all on their own.

Simply because they were “inspired” to do so.

Something to think about if you’re struggling with your dog, or your kid. :)

08/30/2025

“A healthy fear?!?!?”

What kind of monstrous talk is this?

I don’t know, the kind that aligns with reality.

The kind that we all witness on a daily basis.

The kind that has formed all of us, and helped us safely navigate this challenging world.

All smart, child-focused, future-focused, and reality-aligning parents know this stuff to be profoundly simple, and profoundly effective… and healthy.

But with our dogs we’re committed to only being a positive association , and avoiding anything that would create a healthy fear… at any cost. Which means, whether you like it or not, you’re presenting yourself as a one dimensional doormat. And we all know what happens to doormats… they get walked all over.

We’ve all watched this slow slide into coddling, babying, excuse making, consequence avoiding behavior, and it’s put us squarely where we are currently.

Let me be clear. You should absolutely be an immense positive association with your dog. But if you are unable to also occupy the space as a negative association, and are unable to cultivate a healthy fear — you can’t wonder why you’re struggling.

The answers are crystal clear and wildly obvious.

When you’re ready to become a multi-dimensional association — one who predicts the awesome stuff and the not so awesome stuff — life with your dog becomes something healthy, enjoyable, and a whole lot of fun.

But as long as you recoil at representing a healthy fear, which comes from your dog’s knowledge that you will share unsavory consequences for poor choices, prepare yourself to struggle, be frustrated, and even resentful.

Not because you don’t have a choice, but because you don’t like the choice.

08/09/2025

It’s not the big, obvious problem moments where your relationship with your dog is forged.

Unfortunately this continues to be the place where struggling owners look… because it seems to make sense.

The big stuff is obvious. And it obviously points out issues in your dog’s behavior, and your relationship with them.

And while it’s true that these big moments DO reveal fractures in your relationship, what you almost certainly don’t realize is that these big moments didn’t suddenly materialize as the big, obvious problem you now perceive them as.

The big stuff, like everything in life, came from countless small moments that you perceived as innocuous and not requiring attention — and over countless repetitions of these “small moments” occurring you’ve told your dog who you are, who they are, and that the big stuff is absolutely up for grabs.

And thus you find yourself struggling with the obvious, truly challenging stuff, but it didn’t start here. It started with all the small stuff you deemed not important enough to give the proper attention and addressing to.

And so if you’re trying to repair your relationship and to get your dog’s behavior into a better space, the place to do so isn’t with the obvious and the overt. It’s with all the tiny moments you missed prior.

Which means, it’s time to start seeing any and all “small moments” as the truly critical, profound, transformative moments that they truly are. And if you’ll start going after these with vigor and determination — and proper firmness — you’ll finally be on the right track to right the ship and perhaps even get those big, ugly, quality-of-life destroying moments that are downstream from the small stuff… into the positive, healthy space you dream of.

08/08/2025

Of all the ways that problem behaviors snowball into truly ugly stuff, this is the big one.

Most folks, when they see problem behavior like to believe that it’s gotta be abuse, or neglect, or actually training the dog to be a problem. And while those examples obviously occur, they are absolutely eclipsed by the far more common, and usually unrecognized big kahauna of the problem-behavior-creation-world.

Whether it’s jumping on people, nipping people, dragging you on walks, going bonkers at the door, barking at anything and everything out the window, pacing and melting down in the car, exploding at other dogs on walks, growling at strangers, fence fighting, resource guarding, nuisance barking/whining/destruction, pushy/bratty behavior, and even begging.

All this stuff is a byproduct of allowance.

All you have to do is simply allow it to occur, give it some time and the ability to be practiced, and you’re off and running down crazy dog lane.

Or, you take notice of behaviors you find undesirable and/or unhealthy, and you address them. You do so by applying proper
punishment consistently, and in no time, you’ll start to see the problem behavior lessen and lessen, until finally, if done right, it just up and disappears.

So next time you’re banging your head against the wall because of your dog’s frustrating and/or dangerous behavior, just remember, if you’re not doing anything to stop it, you’re absolutely complicit, and an active partner in training it.

07/07/2025

Are there other components?

Of course.

Play, affection, exercise. But these are all enjoyable and rewarding for the human — so you don’t need me or any other trainer to remind you to do this stuff. You’ll happily do it without anyone nagging you.

But, the other stuff? The rules, the structure, the accountability? Bleh.

This stuff is no fun. In fact, it’s often emotionally uncomfortable. And so it gets placed in the very back of the mind’s priority list.

Which means the dog’s needs get the usual out of balance treatment.

Our dogs get the play, affection, and exercise — aka, the soft, fun, sweet stuff, and little to none of the other stuff that balances them and your relationship out. Which means owners get the usual out of balance dog behavior, AND as a special bonus they get the usual out of balance relationship dynamics… which only serves to exacerbate their dog’s behavior issues.

You see, it’s a double pronged undermining. You not only withhold the essential stuff that helps your dog share their best, you also teach your dog that you’re a doormat to be walked upon.

And I’m sure you can see where that all ends up. It ends up with you sitting on mine, or another trainer’s couch, terribly upset and overwhelmed by your dog’s unexplainable behavior, explaining how unpleasant and unbearable life has become.

Which leads me back to the reason you hear smart trainers always promoting the same tired old rules, structure, accountability stuff. Because it’s the same tired old stuff we see derailing dog after dog after dog. And we’re hoping that maybe just maybe, that this time perhaps another one of you will hear it, process it, and actually run with it. 🙏

07/07/2025

Be sure the one holding the leash is doing the training. 😉

07/06/2025

The dog training world isn’t short on nonsense. One of the major nonsensical assertions is that if you have to rely on tools then your dog isn’t trained.

The argument behind this should make anyone who actually knows dogs, and who’s honest, giggle. The argument posits that if you’ve trained your dog what to do, and reinforced what you trained patiently, consistently, and competently… your dog will always listen and will simply do what it’s been taught.

Knowing = doing. Period.

Which means your dog will never find itself torn between what it knows it should do and what it would prefer to do. It will never break place and charge the front door when a guest arrives, because you’ve taught it to hold place no matter what. And your dog will never be off-leash and ignore your recall command when that bunny or enticing dog shows up, because you’ve taught your dog to come back no matter what. And your dog will definitely never blow up at that maniacal Chihuahua straining to get a piece of your best friend, because you’ve taught your dog to ignore naughty monsters on walks no matter what.

Hahahaha…

Just like you and that speed limit. You’d never break that clearly explained and clearly understood law/rule. You’d never be in such a rush that it would damage your “knowing.” You’d never be enticed by the thrill of some extra speed that you’d “forget” the rules. And you’d never just truly innocently forget the speed limit and careen through a 25 zone at 45 because you were distracted by life. Nah.

We don’t use e-collars as a shortcut, quick-fix, or crutch — we use them because we don’t deny reality. We give our dogs the full credit of having conflicting motivations, desires, and brains that can simply get lost in the noise of the moment… just like you.

Any sensible, honest, reality-aligned person knows all too well that knowing and doing are two very different things. Which is why we unapologetically use tools that help dogs (and owners) enjoy the greatest: quality of life, amount of freedom, and degree of safety.

Because everyone “forgets” occasionally. 😉

TLDR: “You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” -AR

06/07/2025

The most challenging, and often disappointing cases we’ve worked with haven’t been problematic due to owners not being able to dial in their tone, timing, and overall training mechanics. Although they might claim these are the obstacles.

No. The most common cause for training failure is the emotional component that is often running unconsciously behind the scenes.

Dogs who are filling emotional gaps as surrogate infants, children, friends, family, and partners are dogs whose owners are almost certainly going to find obstacle after obstacle to sharing the necessary leadership, rules, and accountability which successful dog training necessitates.

Which is why if you’re struggling with your dog, before you hire a trainer, be sure to do a deep dive on who and what your dog truly represents to you. Let the defenses and rationalizations go — as difficult and painful as that process might be — and get to the true, raw, emotional bottom of things.

Once you get a solid and healthy handle on this aspect of your life with your dog, the training part, by comparison, will be a breeze. :)

05/30/2025

05/29/2025

When it comes to dealing with behavior issues, there’s an endless amount of conflicting and confusing information.

Owners are bombarded with a multitude of nonsensical advice. They have to:
-First get to and understand the root emotional cause before taking action.
-Catch the dog doing the right thing and reward it, but don’t dare punish the wrong thing.
-Teach an incompatible behavior, and once again avoid any direct action towards the undesired behavior.
-Redirect the dog, rather than simply direct the dog. (Another version of teaching an incompatible behavior.)

What do all of these have in common? They never actually pause/stop/curtail the problem behavior, they simply dance around it. Which, in case you didn’t know, is the whole point. The dog training industry is hyper-fixated on how do we make everything feel good — for the dog and for us.

Which then means “dancing” around addressing the actual issues is the overwhelming norm. Which then means, you, the owner, never get the results you desire, because you’ve never been taught how to make space for those results to take root and grow. (Because that’s “mean”.)

Folks, this stuff is so simple. You simply have to tune out the noise and tune in your common sense.

If you look at the unwanted, unhealthy behaviors your dog engages in, and you then commit to punishing them properly — when they occur — you’ll stop or tremendously lessen the behavior, which will then create space for your dog to develop new, better, healthier habits and actions.

And here’s the part that causes everyone to unravel: it doesn’t matter where the behavior is coming from. Whether it’s from excitement, frustration, aggression, and yes, even fear.

By first stopping, or “pressing pause” on the behavior, you open your dog’s mind up to being able to reevaluate their response. They get a mental “breath” where they can skip the “See, feel, explode” cycle that reinforces the problem behavior, and with your help, they can find the neutral emotional space where they can begin to develop the behavioral responses you desire.

It’s really that simple. First stop the problem behavior, which then allows your dog to experience the world from a neutral emotional space; a space where behavioral possibilities are limitless.

Or you can keep dancing, and struggling — because as long as the problem behavior continues, your dog will never have the space to create anything better.

PS, for those bristling at the “P” word, remember, the term punishment is being used in the context of operant conditioning. If you’re unfamiliar, please look it up before throwing a fit. 🙂

05/29/2025

First off, I don’t want this to be received in a harsh fashion. It’s meant to be a loving kick in the rear and a reality check.

You are living through the golden age of dog training.

There’s more free in-depth content, more skilled trainers, and more program options at all price points… than ever before.

When I started out in 2004 on my own journey to resolve my terrible twosome’s behavior issues (severe reactivity, severe dog aggression, severe separation anxiety, general chaos), there was next to nothing available. Although launched in 2004, Facebook didn’t become a “thing” until 2006, and it would take years for it to get its dog training feet under it. Same with YouTube. And Instagram wasn’t even a twinkle in its creator’s eyes yet.

What did I have? The library (remember that thing?), book stores (when I had the money), some extremely vague written out e-collar protocols online, and a yahoo email group with some established and some up and coming trainers. Later I found some dvd tutorials, but that was a while down the road.

Anything I wanted to know I had to work my buns off to find, sift through, apply, and then see what was and wasn’t effective/helpful. And while I know this might sound like “When I was a kid we walked a thousand miles through the snow, uphill, both ways to school!” — lol, but I’m trying to illustrate a point…

You guys got it good!

Yeah, I know the usual response argument. “There’s too much!”, “It’s overwhelming!”, “I can’t make heads or tails of who to trust!”

Trust me, that’s a good problem to have. It means you’ve got a too much issue, which simply means you have to do the work to sift through more stuff — but try having a too little (or none) issue. I promise you’d take former over the latter every time.

The upshot? It’s what the original post graphic says. If you’re still struggling and haven’t found help, that’s a priority issue, not a dog behavior issue.

So get out there. Go do the sifting. There’s tons of great trainers giving away gobs of great stuff. And plenty more who would be happy to help you hands-on for the appropriate price. There’s no excuse that can be exercised except laziness.

04/19/2025

I see so many owners getting caught up in excessive and unhelpful rumination about their dog’s behavior — where it’s coming from, why it’s happening, and what they should or shouldn’t do about it.

This causes many to miss critical moments where they could be offering helpful feedback to their dogs; making profound improvements to their behavior and enhancing overall relationship dynamics.

The “Behavioral Decision Making Matrix” is a simple guide for those who find themselves getting caught up (frozen) in the many questions their mind’s present when their dog does *something* they have feelings about, but are unsure how to proceed, and it enables them to quickly make evaluations, decisions, find clarity, and take action if needed.

A few things to clarify.

When I say is the behavior “healthy”, that means is the behavior healthy for all involved? That means you, the world your dog will interact with, and your dog itself. You’ll have to do the work (emotionally and intellectually) to ensure your version of healthy is actually that — and best to figure this out in advance.

When I say is the behavior “desired”, that means by you. Yes, you will have to take responsibility for determining what is desired, and you will often have to deny your dog what they desire in order to best serve them and you and everyone else. Someone has to be the arbiter of what is and isn’t desired, and that’s a job best taken on by the human. This doesn’t mean become a tyrant and the destroyer of all that is enjoyable, but it does mean you’re entitled and responsible for making this decision.

As for allowing, disallowing, reward, and punishment, a few things. Often allowing is more than enough for a behavior (positive or negative) to be reinforced, with or without reward. Also, there are many times when actual rewards are not only unnecessary, but also overkill and counterproductive — and there are times when actually rewarding is very helpful. As for punishment, I’m using the operant conditioning definition, so don’t let your emotions get you rankled. Look it up if you don’t know.

Hope this helps. :)